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A Little Advice, Please?

FutureMrsBuechlerFutureMrsBuechler member
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in Wedding Invitations & Paper

I know that I will need "Save the Date" cards, ceremony and reception invitations, "Thank You" cards, and bridal shower invitations. To save money, I'm looking at wedding invitations with room for reception information so I don't have to purchase them separately. Are RSVP cards necessary, or can you list a contact number or a website (like the lovely ones provided by this site) for the guests to RSVP? I am having a formal black tie wedding, if that matters. Thank you, and God bless you all! :)

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Re: A Little Advice, Please?

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    I have never seen a wedding invitation with room information on it.
    For budget invitations, make friends with http://www.vistaprint.com.  They have hundreds of designs and are very inexpensive.  We used them for my daughter's invitations, and got lots of compliments on the lovely design.

    RSVP cards are not necessary, but nearly everyone does them.  We used Vistaprint postcards to save money.  They worked well.

    Save the Date cards are not necessary, but if you feel you need then, Vistaprint does a great job with their postcards.  Postage for a standard postcard is much less than for an invitation in an envelope.  They have designs that are made for STDs.

    As far as bridal shower invitations, you should not be ordering them.  Someone else plans a bridal shower, IF someone offers to do it.  My daughter didn't get a shower.

    Thank you notes can be bought cheaply in bulk at Hobby Lobby or Michaels.  Nobody really cares about the design of Thank you notes, but they do care about how quickly they receive them, and the nice handwritten note inside.  Fancier custom ones cost more.

    Do not depend on Vistaprint for proper wording of your invitation.  Some of their wording advice is just wrong.  Post you wording on this board for us to edit and review before you order!  So many ladies ask questions AFTER they order, and are upset to find they made mistakes.

    Enjoy shopping.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    FutureMrsBuechler said:

    I know that I will need "Save the Date" cards, ceremony and reception invitations, "Thank You" cards, and bridal shower invitations. To save money, I'm looking at wedding invitations with room for reception information so I don't have to purchase them separately. Are RSVP cards necessary, or can you list a contact number or a website (like the lovely ones provided by this site) for the guests to RSVP? I am having a formal black tie wedding, if that matters. Thank you, and God bless you all! :)

    I am addressing your last statement in a separate post.  If you are worried about the cost of invitations, you are not having a black tie wedding.  A black tie wedding is a no expense spared wedding with engraved invitations, full sit down plated dinner (filet mignon, not chicken) served by gloved waiters, live band  (not DJ), full open bar.  It takes place after 6:00 PM.
    Maybe you could describe you wedding in more detail and we could help you.
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  • FutureMrsBuechlerFutureMrsBuechler member
    First Comment

    I completely forgot to mention the rehearsal dinner reminders (invitations?). Are these customary, as well?

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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Many people use word of mouth.  You could easily use drug store fill-in inviitations, or have them done at Vistaprint.
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  • FutureMrsBuechlerFutureMrsBuechler member
    First Comment

    My wedding will take place in a chapel/church, as I am very religious. I will be wearing a floor-length dress with a train (not certain of the length, yet) and a double-layer veil (for the "revealing"). My bridesmaids and matron of honor will all be wearing long, matching dresses, but the matron of honor will be distinguished by wearing a slightly darker color and possibly a slightly different bouquet. I will be having a flower girl and a ring-bearer.

    The reception will consist of a sit-down dinner (salmon, filet mignon, chicken). Guests will be encouraged to "dress-up", but they won't be turned away if they are not. So, perhaps, "black tie optional"? I have fairly extravagant plans for the reception space, including flowers, fabric draping, uplighting, favors, and such.

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  • FutureMrsBuechlerFutureMrsBuechler member
    First Comment
    Oh, and I did forget to mention that there will be an open bar (Mostly for the groom's friends and family, as my side of the family does not drink alcohol.)!
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    There is no such thing as "black tie optional".  That is considered tacky.  I would describe your wedding as a formal church wedding.  (Lovely!)  If you tell people that it is black tie, some guests might decline because they don't want to dress so formally, or rent a tux.  Your plans sound beautiful!  Just say that it is a formal wedding.
    Formal wedding invitations are usually white or ecru with engraved , letterpress, or raised printing.  Invitations by Dawn would be a good budget source.  Your invitations will reflect the level of formality.
    Just last week we had a long post from a bride who put "black tie optional" on her invitations, and she received a lot of criticism.  She really didn't understand what a black tie wedding was.  She just thought if she spent a lot of money, that made it black tie.  No.  She was having an early afternoon wedding!
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  • sheslikeasunburnsheslikeasunburn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    if you are trying to skimp on reception and rsvp cards i seriously doubt your wedding is black tie. 

     i would be shocked to see black tie wording on a cheap invitation that had a phone number or website to rsvp.  since your wedding is at a different location than your ceremony you need a reception card.  is this really where you want to be cheap?  
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You do not need STDs.  Nor do you need rehearsal dinner invitations.  Nor do you need custom TY notes.

    And if you are doing a "call this number to RSVP" then you aren't having a formal black tie event.

    If you truly want a black tie wedding well then you need to include a lot of things, including high end invitations.

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  • tortoisebridetortoisebride member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    Formal church wedding sounds more accurate, yeah. Black tie means evening dresses and tuxes for everyone and I don't think you're actually aiming for that. I gather you should also not even mention the dress code or attire preferences anywhere; just make it clear that you expect formal dress by the time and location (evening, church) and style of invitations (not pink with comic sans :))

    (Also if you're going formal there's a whole thing about 'inner envelopes' that you should probably look into, too. I wasn't aware of this until I started reading TK.)

    Etiquette mavens, is there any reason she can't have ceremony and reception location on the same card? I wasn't aware that this was necessary.
    This is me reading threads on TK
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    tortoisebride said:
    Formal church wedding sounds more accurate, yeah. Black tie means evening dresses and tuxes for everyone and I don't think you're actually aiming for that. I gather you should also not even mention the dress code or attire preferences anywhere; just make it clear that you expect formal dress by the time and location (evening, church) and style of invitations (not pink with comic sans :))

    (Also if you're going formal there's a whole thing about 'inner envelopes' that you should probably look into, too. I wasn't aware of this until I started reading TK.)

    Etiquette mavens, is there any reason she can't have ceremony and reception location on the same card? I wasn't aware that this was necessary.
    If the ceremony and reception are at the same location, certainly they can be put on the same card.  But if they're at different locations, then you use different cards.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Jen4948 said:
    tortoisebride said:
    Formal church wedding sounds more accurate, yeah. Black tie means evening dresses and tuxes for everyone and I don't think you're actually aiming for that. I gather you should also not even mention the dress code or attire preferences anywhere; just make it clear that you expect formal dress by the time and location (evening, church) and style of invitations (not pink with comic sans :))

    (Also if you're going formal there's a whole thing about 'inner envelopes' that you should probably look into, too. I wasn't aware of this until I started reading TK.)

    Etiquette mavens, is there any reason she can't have ceremony and reception location on the same card? I wasn't aware that this was necessary.
    If the ceremony and reception are at the same location, certainly they can be put on the same card.  But if they're at different locations, then you use different cards.
    Also, adding additional reception information when the venue is different then your ceremony venue the invite can get really cluttered looking.  Invites should be clean, simple and easy to read.

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  • Rebl90Rebl90 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Since your wedding is not black-tie, I agree that Invitations by Dawn has great budget-friendly options, that's what we went with and they are absolutely beautiful.  

    And please, listen to @CMGragain! Do not put "black tie optional" on your invites, it will come across as rude, confuse your guests, and most likely cause people to side-eye your wedding when they show up and realize that it is not a black tie event. 
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Your guests will judge the level of formality by how nice your invitations are. If you want to convey a formal wedding and have people dress in suits/ties, cocktail dresses/nice heels, your invitation should look something like this:
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    If your invitation is less formal like these, people will dress more casually - sport coat and khakis, sundress and sandals - even if it's on nice paper and letterpressed and everything matches.
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