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So how many actually brought their kids?

AngusaurAngusaur member
500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
FI wanted to cut kids except WP out of the guest list completely. I got him to compromise because some of my OOT guests would not be able to attend without the kids, and it was really important to me that they be there. I didn't want to offend anyone by picking and choosing. The main reason we were considering cutting kids was because out of a guest list of 125-130, about 30 are kids. That's a lot of extra money and (hopefully not) a lot of extra chaos.

Anyways, I am guessing a lot of people will still want to leave the kids home, get a sitter, whatever. Of course this is not guaranteed and I'm expecting full attendance. I just know as a tired working adult/mother, I might use a wedding as a nice opportunity to have a night out with FI. I'm just curious out of all the kids you invited, how many parents brought them vs coming alone?

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Re: So how many actually brought their kids?

  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm not a mom, but I have talked to my mom about this AND my SO's mom about this...
    In both cases they were on the same page. If the kids are invited, it's for the kids to decide if they would like to attend or not.

    One exception being, of course, if our parents couldn't go. Because, ya know, they weren't about to put us in a cab and send us off on our own.

    The other exception being, if we were babies. Then, it was a case by case basis. It never had to do with whether or not they wanted to go out for a night without the kids. If they wanted that, they could just hire a baby-sitter or call up a grandparent on any old night.


    My friend, on the other hand, has difficulties finding sitters, so it's almost like she has to use events like weddings and anniversaries to convince friends and family to help out. Hiring sitters isn't an option, but I'll save that for a different thread another day lol.
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  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    My future cousin-in-law isn't bringing his kid, because at 6 he has been to 5 weddings in the last year and decided he hates weddings. He is divorced and coming from out of town so that presents its own difficulties for him.  

    My family would bring their kids to everything. They are really family oriented and the older kids tend to watch the younger kids while the adults drink. 

    None of my friends have kids. At 24, I'm the youngest of my friends to get married. One of FIs friends has gotten married and that is it. 

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  • kkleigh10kkleigh10 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'm getting married next week. We received 72 yes responses from 78 invitations. 15 kids will be there (although 3 are between the ages of 14 and 17), which is a pretty high ratio.

    FWIW, all kids are the children of family members. All of our friends who have kids decided to hire sitters because they wanted the weekend to themselves to let loose!
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  • emmyg65emmyg65 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    All of the children we invited came. We had about 20 kids under 16 (out of a guest list of 90). They were all lovely during the ceremony and we had a blast dancing with them at the reception. We wouldn't have invited them if we didn't want them to come!
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  • jdluvr06jdluvr06 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    When my sister got married every kid that was invited came and I can only assume it will be the same for my wedding since we have the same relatives. I know that my friend's daughter is coming because she (the daughter) is super excited and can't stop talking about it.
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    We invited six kids -- my nephew (RB), DH's nephew (RB), my cousin's two kids (ages 5 and 7) and the infant children (both two months old) of two of our friends.

    Obvs the two RBs came, my cousin's two kids came, and one of our friends chose to bring their infant daughter. The other couple chose to leave their infant son at home with her parents.

    Another friend of mine ended up bringing her four-month-old son because her babysitter fell through at the last minute, which was fine. I didn't notice until they came through the receiving line. 
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • AngusaurAngusaur member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    emmyg65 said:
    All of the children we invited came. We had about 20 kids under 16 (out of a guest list of 90). They were all lovely during the ceremony and we had a blast dancing with them at the reception. We wouldn't have invited them if we didn't want them to come!
    It's not that I don't want children there, 30 is just a lot, especially when it's 1/4 of your guest list. I just can't pick and choose so it's all vs nothing. I'm still expecting everyone to come. 

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  • 00kim0000kim00 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    We invited 12 families with kids. 4 aren't coming at all, 3 haven't replied yet (we're thinking 1-2 of them are likely to bring the kids), 2 are coming without kids (1 OOT, 1local), 3 are coming with kids. So for us, it's just over half who are coming with the kids vs finding a sitter. Kids were about a quarter of our guest list, too
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  • Coalette2013Coalette2013 member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    We had 11 children on our invite list and only 8 came. All were family. The 3 that didn't come was because the parents didn't come. We did not invite children outside of the family because that would have been an additional 30+ kids. 

    We had no issues from guests about not inviting their children; I think mainly b/c we gave them a lot of notice by word of mouth prior to sending out invites. 
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  • TheGrimReaperTheGrimReaper member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer First Anniversary
    We invite the children of everyone traveling in from OOT, which also happened to be all children related to us.  We invited a total of 19 kids. Every single one came. It was awesome.
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  • a13049a13049 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I think this is could very greatly between families and circles.  My family, kids are always invited and they always come.  Our weddings are usually crawling with kids, and I love it.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Not counting our RB, we invited 4 kids. Three of them came. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    If you had kids they were invited to our wedding. Everyone who attended brought their child(ren).  One couple RSVPed without their kids and I told them that I completely understood if they wanted a kid free weekend but I wanted them to know the kids were absolutely welcome.  They ended up bringing the kids.  I also had one couple who couldn't attend send their toddler.  Her aunts and grandparents were at the wedding so she came with them instead of her parents.  


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