Just got an invite to an August wedding

[Deleted User] · May 2014

It's May first and I just got an invite to a wedding on August 2nd. RSVP is apparently due on June 20th. Is this early or am I crazy?

VulgarGirl · May 2014

Is it a DW? That's the only reason I could see for early invitations going out...but early RSVPs...yeah, no that's crazy I have no idea what I'm doing August. I'm not even thinking about August. I'm barley thinking about June.

AddieCake · May 2014

That is indeed pretty early!

Northrend · May 2014

Oh look at you, bragging for making the A list.

lyndausvi · May 2014

that is way early for both the invite and the RSVP. Jun 20 is 6 weeks out. Crazy

[Deleted User] · May 2014

Northrend said:

Oh look at you, bragging for making the A list.

Heh.

It's my 23 year old cousin's wedding. We got Save The Dates ages ago, so it's not like I didn't know it's happening. It is out of state for me, but it's not a destination wedding. Everyone in my family can't stop talking about it. My mother asks me weekly if I'm going. Cousin's mother, my aunt, is hosting the wedding and she's a piece of work. I personally can't stand the woman. But I'm pretty sure she's considering this as her big show as her other kids are boys and a super introverted girl who doesn't date. Wedding website states the reception will be a cash bar. The back of the invitation insert that has the map also includes their four registries and a paragraph regarding attire. This is going to be fun. <-- sarcasm

artbyallie · May 2014

adk19 said:

Northrend said:

Oh look at you, bragging for making the A list.

Heh.

It's my 23 year old cousin's wedding. We got Save The Dates ages ago, so it's not like I didn't know it's happening. It is out of state for me, but it's not a destination wedding. Everyone in my family can't stop talking about it. My mother asks me weekly if I'm going. Cousin's mother, my aunt, is hosting the wedding and she's a piece of work. I personally can't stand the woman. But I'm pretty sure she's considering this as her big show as her other kids are boys and a super introverted girl who doesn't date. Wedding website states the reception will be a cash bar. The back of the invitation insert that has the map also includes their four registries and a paragraph regarding attire. This is going to be fun. <-- sarcasm

A whole PARAGRAPH? Post it, post it, post it! I wanna know how bad it is. Pretty please?

Couggal12 · May 2014

I'm with @artbyallie, please post!!!!

MobKaz · May 2014

Sounds like August may bring some good follow up stories!

huskypuppy14 · May 2014

Last summer I got an invitation in early to mid June for a wedding in mid September. The RSVP date was also six weeks out. We already knew we were going, so it didn't bother me. Though I thought it was definitely early.

indianaalum · May 2014

definitely a B list type of event, unless, its a DW

jdluvr06 · May 2014

I'm getting married in August and I haven't even started making my invitations yet. I was going to get start on them tonight.

ShesSoCold · May 2014

I'm having a DW on 8/2 and I was thinking of getting my invitations out in the next two weeks. But my RSVP date is 7/12 - three weeks before.

Am I wrong? Too early? It's not out of the country but a true destination for everyone.

lyndausvi · May 2014

ShesSoCold said:

I'm having a DW on 8/2 and I was thinking of getting my invitations out in the next two weeks. But my RSVP date is 7/12 - three weeks before.

Am I wrong? Too early? It's not out of the country but a true destination for everyone.

I would send them out no earlier than 10 weeks out.

grumbledore · May 2014

Schatzi13 said:

I can see people sending invites at three months because someone told them that was the thing to do, but an RSVP at six weeks screams B-list. So, umm, congrats on actually being wanted.

Slightly OT: What has everyone been receiving lately? Our last three invites were around five months out. AFAIK, only one couple had a B-list. I'm starting to wonder if this is a new thing.

It's definitely a stupid thing. I get wanting to make sure people have enough time to be there if they want to be, but anything more than 10 weeks (invite)/3 weeks (RSVP - and 3 weeks is early but I wouldn't judge a friend for that) just screams desperation and/or B List to me.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

Couggal12 said:

I'm with @artbyallie, please post!!!!

Attire

Please wear semi-formal/dressy-casual attire. Our wedding is not themed to be super formal such as suits and ties for everyone, but it is not super casual either. So please wear something nice. No ball caps, ripped jeans, sweatpants, shorts, t-shirts, etc.

Just to give an idea:

Groomsmen will be wearing dress pants with matching vests, white button-up shirts with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, ties, and shiney black dress shoes. Bridesmaids will be wearing knee-length dresses. [Groom] will be wearing white dress pants with a matching white vest, white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, black tie, and shiney black dress shoes. My dress is floor-length.

PrettyGirlLost · May 2014

I don't think the majority of ppl are B-listing. In my experience ppl send out invitations earlier than you all advise with the logic that they want to give ppl enough time to make arrangements to attend, if they wanted to.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

indianaalum said:

definitely a B list type of event, unless, its a DW

I wouldn't put it past my aunt. Especially since most of the "A-list" are relatives from across the country and at least my generation of cousins is talking about not going.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

I don't think the majority of ppl are B-listing. In my experience ppl send out invitations earlier than you all advise with the logic that they want to give ppl enough time to make arrangements to attend, if they wanted to.

But we all got Save The Dates. We all know when the wedding is. Our closer extended family has been talking about it for a year. We know how to use a telephone (and a computer) if we got confused as to which weekend is was in the process of losing the STDate. I just don't understand why they need my RSVP six weeks before the event. Who do they possibly need to get numbers to?

melbenso · May 2014

Both of the invitations we've received recently arrived at about 6-8 weeks before the wedding.

I will admit that we sent ours at the 3 month mark, but that was because our room block expired 8 weeks out and we wanted to make sure people had the opportunity to book a room. We may have to call a few more people than we otherwise would have, but I'd rather inconvenience us doing that than inconvenience our guests if they couldn't get a room.

Also, how can something be both dressy and casual?

LDay2014 · May 2014

adk19 said:

Couggal12 said:

I'm with @artbyallie, please post!!!!

Attire
Please wear semi-formal/dressy-casual attire. Our wedding is not themed to be super formal such as suits and ties for everyone, but it is not super casual either. So please wear something nice. No ball caps, ripped jeans, sweatpants, shorts, t-shirts, etc.

Just to give an idea:
Groomsmen will be wearing dress pants with matching vests, white button-up shirts with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, ties, and shiney black dress shoes. Bridesmaids will be wearing knee-length dresses. [Groom] will be wearing white dress pants with a matching white vest, white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, black tie, and shiney black dress shoes. My dress is floor-length.

Sigh...I quit.

And it's SHINY...not SHINEY. FML, if you're going to attempt to dictate to adults what they should wear at least look like you are educated enough to spell it properly.

Too the next wedding I go two, I will ware genes and a sweeter just too make the bride mad.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

Schatzi13 said:

I can see people sending invites at three months because someone told them that was the thing to do, but an RSVP at six weeks screams B-list. So, umm, congrats on actually being wanted.

Slightly OT: What has everyone been receiving lately? Our last three invites were around five months out. AFAIK, only one couple had a B-list. I'm starting to wonder if this is a new thing.

We got invitations in February for May and June weddings. The invites arrived on the same day, actually, and the weddings are a week apart.

In both cases, the invites came about three months before the actual wedding (11 or 12 weeks).

These are the details I know:

Wedding A (May): Venue has max capacity of 125. That's fire code capacity, not comfortable capacity. They invited 110, but that included splitting up SOs because, in some cases, 'We didn't like so-and-so's SO.' They're stretched, financially, to meet the 110 people they have invited, so they sent out invites early because they're hoping to get declines and be able to down-grade the number of chairs/tables/etc.

Wedding B (June): DW that I've posted about before. They did send STDates (which included an effing dress code), and had a lot of people tell them after STDates went out, 'We won't be able to make it,' so they sent out invites early again to get a headcount because if they get enough declines (and they only invited 40 or 50 people), they play to actually pay for the reception themselves, rather than have a Dutch-treat meal at a restaurant after the ceremony.

flyingfoxes · May 2014

I dunno - I don't mind getting invites early - I'm a planner, so I like to have stuff on the calendar sometimes a year ahead of time (stuff like vacations, etc).

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

april182015bride said:

I dunno - I don't mind getting invites early - I'm a planner, so I like to have stuff on the calendar sometimes a year ahead of time (stuff like vacations, etc).

But that's the point of a STDate.

flyingfoxes · May 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

april182015bride said:

I dunno - I don't mind getting invites early - I'm a planner, so I like to have stuff on the calendar sometimes a year ahead of time (stuff like vacations, etc).

But that's the point of a STDate.

True - but why is it a huge deal to get the invite early and mail it back? You know you're going, so why is it a problem to mail it back 6 weeks early as opposed to earlier? You're going either way, so I just don't get why it's an issue worth getting worked up over. I know there's a greater chance of something coming up where you wouldn't be able to go, but that's a risk that the bride/groom take by wanting answers earlier and it'll be on them.

LDay2014 · May 2014

scribe95 said:

Seriously - the groom and groomsman are rolling their sleeves up and I can't wear jeans!

You can wear jeans...just not ripped ones.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

april182015bride said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

april182015bride said:

I dunno - I don't mind getting invites early - I'm a planner, so I like to have stuff on the calendar sometimes a year ahead of time (stuff like vacations, etc).

But that's the point of a STDate.

True - but why is it a huge deal to get the invite early and mail it back? You know you're going, so why is it a problem to mail it back 6 weeks early as opposed to earlier? You're going either way, so I just don't get why it's an issue worth getting worked up over. I know there's a greater chance of something coming up where you wouldn't be able to go, but that's a risk that the bride/groom take by wanting answers earlier and it'll be on them.

But I don't know if I am going to go. None of the cousins that I like are going to be there. It's a 10 hour drive away to the northern midwest where there's nothing to do. And we're looking into buying a house, so I don't know if I'll be packing or moving or unpacking or just plain out of money to take a trip to anywhere.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

april182015bride said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

april182015bride said:

I dunno - I don't mind getting invites early - I'm a planner, so I like to have stuff on the calendar sometimes a year ahead of time (stuff like vacations, etc).

But that's the point of a STDate.

True - but why is it a huge deal to get the invite early and mail it back? You know you're going, so why is it a problem to mail it back 6 weeks early as opposed to earlier? You're going either way, so I just don't get why it's an issue worth getting worked up over. I know there's a greater chance of something coming up where you wouldn't be able to go, but that's a risk that the bride/groom take by wanting answers earlier and it'll be on them.

Because maybe you don't know? See below:

Schatzi13 said:

Of the three weddings mentioned in my PP, we'd received STDs for two. We had the date for the other via word of mouth.

We live overseas from these weddings - we're the people given as an excuse for sending early invites - and we still could not RSVP until closer because we didn't know if we could attend. The invites just sat there making me feel guilty.

There are a whole host of things that could determine whether you could go or not. DH's company allows you to pick half your vacation time in December/January -- i.e., he booked our April honeymoon time off late last year -- but the other half of it you have to put in for over the course of the year, and they only approve vacation time four weeks out.

If we had to RSVP for a wedding six weeks out, we literally wouldn't know if we could attend or not.

Or you could be buying a house, as a PP suggested, or TTC, or having a baby, or any other number of things.

lyndausvi · May 2014

april182015bride said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

april182015bride said:

I dunno - I don't mind getting invites early - I'm a planner, so I like to have stuff on the calendar sometimes a year ahead of time (stuff like vacations, etc).

But that's the point of a STDate.

True - but why is it a huge deal to get the invite early and mail it back? You know you're going, so why is it a problem to mail it back 6 weeks early as opposed to earlier? You're going either way, so I just don't get why it's an issue worth getting worked up over. I know there's a greater chance of something coming up where you wouldn't be able to go, but that's a risk that the bride/groom take by wanting answers earlier and it'll be on them.

Some of us have jobs where we we can't know for sure 6 weeks out if we can attend or not. If you happened to be one who can RSVP early, GREAT, go ahead. It's to help out those of us who can't.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

I don't think the majority of ppl are B-listing. In my experience ppl send out invitations earlier than you all advise with the logic that they want to give ppl enough time to make arrangements to attend, if they wanted to.

This. Every wedding invitation I've ever gotten has been far longer out than what's advised here. Every other website I've read also advises longer than what ya'll say, especially when you have out of town guests (regardless of whether you sent Save the Dates), which is certainly becoming more prevalent than the purely hometown weddings of a generation ago. The only time I ever gave the deadline a second thought was with the friend complaining people didn't reply >2 months out - that was the only extreme. 4-6 weeks doesn't faze me. In talking with other friends and family, their biggest concerns were with >2 month deadlines, or not having enough time before the deadline to see if they could make arrangements before deciding. (One friend got an invite on 4/25 with a deadline of 4/30 for a wedding that's not until late June.)

Funny too when on the DIY board I've seen comments like "why are you doing centerpieces already when you don't have your RSVPs, you don't know how many you'll need." but... if you wait until 2 weeks before the DIYers certainly wouldn't have time to finish everything. A bit of a catch 22.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

Schatzi13 said:

Oh. Duh. Super formal wedding theme:

Don't wear this, OP.

Nope. Totally doing this. Wearing a wonder woman tank top under my sundress.

Just got an invite to an August wedding

Re: Just got an invite to an August wedding

Attire

Attire

Choose Another Board

Search Boards