Just got an invite to an August wedding

Couggal12 · May 2014

adk19 said:

Couggal12 said:

adk19 said:

Couggal12 said:

I'm with @artbyallie, please post!!!!

Attire
Please wear semi-formal/dressy-casual attire. Our wedding is not themed to be super formal such as suits and ties for everyone, but it is not super casual either. So please wear something nice. No ball caps, ripped jeans, sweatpants, shorts, t-shirts, etc.

Just to give an idea:
Groomsmen will be wearing dress pants with matching vests, white button-up shirts with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, ties, and shiney black dress shoes. Bridesmaids will be wearing knee-length dresses. [Groom] will be wearing white dress pants with a matching white vest, white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, black tie, and shiney black dress shoes. My dress is floor-length.

I would walk in with the nicest pair of ripped jeans I own.

I'm thinking ripped jean shorts, a wonder woman t-shirt, and a ball cap.

I like that idea better.

lyndausvi · May 2014

lolo883 said:

SammiNJonni said:

Sending out invites a month early I can forgive the early RSVP date screams B-listing.

As for the dress code on the invite I can not stop laughing that the think they can dictate guests attire.

I really don't think it should though, and I wonder if people who don't spend all day preaching wedding etiquette would feel the same way, or if Knotties are hyper-sensitive to it.

If you're not the actual one being B-listed, and you have no proof that B-listing is actually going on or going to go on at some later date, what's rude? Anyone can wonder about it all they want but I wouldn't hold it against people unless I knew for sure they had ended up doing that. It definitely screams A-list, but you have no way of knowing if a B-list exists.

And if so many people send invites so early because of advice they're getting elsewhere (or whatever other reason), so that's the cadence lots of guests are used to, might it not scream B-list even more to get an invite only a month out, with 2-week RSVPs? My wedding isn't until September and I've already had about a half dozen people ask me when they're getting their invitations to make sure they didn't miss it/make sure they're invited (yeah, rude, but whatever).

Funny story... a friend of mine got pulled over for stopping at a stop sign. Yeah. The cop said "you only stopped at that because you saw me and didn't want to get pulled over." Huh? She said "you realize you can't give me a ticket over an assumption of something you thought I might have done but didn't." "Well... yeah. But be warned." Um ok.

*** STUCK IN BOX

Early invites do not bother me. They do not scream B-list me. Even if they did, I'm on the A-list so I do not really care. Early RSVPs annoy the crap out of me because as I've stated we are the ones who can't make plans early.

Early RSVPs scream instant gratification to me. They just can't wait till almost their wedding day to see who is coming or not. They have to know NOW.

I had a 10 day out RSVP date and still had changes up until the wedding. I can't even imagine one 6 weeks out.

luckysnorkel · May 2014

I'm getting married the same weekend as the wedding in the OP and I wasn't planning on sending invitations out until the end of May! Back in February, we actually had a friend hassling us about when we were going to send out our invitations, because he wanted to book travel. That's what the save the date is for! I blame the bad eggs who don't invite everyone they send a save the date to, ruining it for the rest of us.

Fairyjen1 · May 2014

luckysnorkel said:

I'm getting married the same weekend as the wedding in the OP and I wasn't planning on sending invitations out until the end of May! Back in February, we actually had a friend hassling us about when we were going to send out our invitations, because he wanted to book travel. That's what the save the date is for! I blame the bad eggs who don't invite everyone they send a save the date to, ruining it for the rest of us.

We had this too. In January we had more than one person (two in fact) tell us they didn't get their invite yet. Um, yeah, the wedding isn't until October, and it's immediate family only.

countrygirl061513 · May 2014

It may not be a B list situation. I misread my contract and had my RSVP date set 6 weeks out. I thought my final numbers were due to the venue by May 1st for our June 15th wedding, but it was just the signed contract and guesstimate of the number of tables and chairs that were due at that point. I didn't start bugging people for their RSVP until June 1st and felt (and still feel) horrible about my mistake.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

FI wants to get ours sent out by June 2nd for our Aug 2nd wedding because "OMG some people didn't get Save the Dates!!!" I pointed out that yes some of the STDs that we sent out were never received and are lost in post office outer space, but that a lot of people weren't even going to get STDs...soooo June 2nd is out then.

Cookie Pusher · May 2014

We're 9 weeks out from our wedding as of tomorrow. We included the room block information with our STDates that went out in November (summer holiday weekend wedding, we wanted to make sure people who wanted to come could arrange their summer vacation plans if they wanted). We have had ZERO people book rooms in our block. Our invitations won't go out until next week at the 8-week mark, but our hotel coordinated keeps trying to get me to commit to things really early (number of shuttle runs, increasing the room block, etc) because the block gets released a month before the wedding. And the checklist from TK says to send invitations out at the 3-month mark, which may be why so many people are doing it. Also, our RSVP date is 2.5 weeks from the wedding date, which some of you may side-eye, but our caterer need numbers 10 days out since the holiday falls right before the wedding. That gives us 1 week to follow up with people who haven't responded and still make our deadline.

lyndausvi · May 2014

Cookie Pusher said:

We're 9 weeks out from our wedding as of tomorrow. We included the room block information with our STDates that went out in November (summer holiday weekend wedding, we wanted to make sure people who wanted to come could arrange their summer vacation plans if they wanted). We have had ZERO people book rooms in our block. Our invitations won't go out until next week at the 8-week mark, but our hotel coordinated keeps trying to get me to commit to things really early (number of shuttle runs, increasing the room block, etc) because the block gets released a month before the wedding. And the checklist from TK says to send invitations out at the 3-month mark, which may be why so many people are doing it. Also, our RSVP date is 2.5 weeks from the wedding date, which some of you may side-eye, but our caterer need numbers 10 days out since the holiday falls right before the wedding. That gives us 1 week to follow up with people who haven't responded and still make our deadline.

2.5 weeks out is fine. I get annoyed at the 4-6+ week range.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

Cookie Pusher said:

We're 9 weeks out from our wedding as of tomorrow. We included the room block information with our STDates that went out in November (summer holiday weekend wedding, we wanted to make sure people who wanted to come could arrange their summer vacation plans if they wanted). We have had ZERO people book rooms in our block. Our invitations won't go out until next week at the 8-week mark, but our hotel coordinated keeps trying to get me to commit to things really early (number of shuttle runs, increasing the room block, etc) because the block gets released a month before the wedding. And the checklist from TK says to send invitations out at the 3-month mark, which may be why so many people are doing it. Also, our RSVP date is 2.5 weeks from the wedding date, which some of you may side-eye, but our caterer need numbers 10 days out since the holiday falls right before the wedding. That gives us 1 week to follow up with people who haven't responded and still make our deadline.

Really? the TK checklist says to mail invites at the 3 month mark? Well, that explains it. Their wedding website is on the TK website, so that's probably what they're going by. Guess it's not a B-list thing, but another bad idea from the wedding establishment.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

TexasBride2014 said:

FI wants to get ours sent out by June 2nd for our Aug 2nd wedding because "OMG some people didn't get Save the Dates!!!" I pointed out that yes some of the STDs that we sent out were never received and are lost in post office outer space, but that a lot of people weren't even going to get STDs...soooo June 2nd is out then.

We mailed ours Aug. 13 for our Oct. 13 wedding. That was eight weeks and five days before our wedding. Our RSVP date was Sept. 25 (18 days before our wedding). I worried that with the Labour Day holiday in there, postal service might be delayed.

lyndausvi · May 2014

TexasBride2014 said:

FI wants to get ours sent out by June 2nd for our Aug 2nd wedding because "OMG some people didn't get Save the Dates!!!" I pointed out that yes some of the STDs that we sent out were never received and are lost in post office outer space, but that a lot of people weren't even going to get STDs...soooo June 2nd is out then.

We sent our invites out just after July 4th for our Sept 6th wedding. Just over 8 weeks. 100% OOT. Our RSVP date was 10 days out.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

I'll be waiting until the RSVP date of June 20th to get my response back since I'll likely not know if I'm actually attending until close to that time. I'm kinda curious though who would call me if I didn't RSVP in time. I kinda think it would be my mom getting a call from the bride or her mother to ask about me. I do not have a phone relationship with either of them, and my mom has a Skype relationship with them. (Speaking of Skype, my mom was asked a few weeks ago to be the brides Personal Attendant. Since both the bride and my mother believe that this is an honor, I'm hesitant to say anything about it.)

PrincessOfHavoc · May 2014

My shredded booty jhorts don't appear to be restricted. I'm wearing them with a black bra and stained white tank. What, I see no restrictions on those.

Please note the shorts are for washing the car/teasing DF only, I don't wear black bras under white shirts and I don't currently own a white tank top

[Deleted User] · May 2014

PrincessOfHavoc said:

My shredded booty jhorts don't appear to be restricted. I'm wearing them with a black bra and stained white tank. What, I see no restrictions on those. Please note the shorts are for washing the car/teasing DF only, I don't wear black bras under white shirts and I don't currently own a white tank top

And while ball caps are restricted, the hat I'm wearing is actually a pink hat with the word "Diva" bedazzled on it. So, it's totally bling and appropriate for weddings.

PrincessOfHavoc · May 2014

I dunno. My other attire would so be a Wonder Woman dress. With cape.

Could bedazzle the heck out of that.

Or just wear suitable battledress.

Inkdancer · May 2014

PrincessOfHavoc said:

I dunno. My other attire would so be a Wonder Woman dress. With cape. Could bedazzle the heck out of that. Or just wear suitable battledress.

As in Dragon Age's Battle Dress of the Provocateur, or Irene Adler's battledress?

[Deleted User] · May 2014

Inkdancer said:

PrincessOfHavoc said:

I dunno. My other attire would so be a Wonder Woman dress. With cape. Could bedazzle the heck out of that. Or just wear suitable battledress.

As in Dragon Age's Battle Dress of the Provocateur, or Irene Adler's battledress?

Wow! I only wear Irene Adler's battledress in the privacy of my own home. That'd be quite an image.

PrettyGirlLost · May 2014

@hisgirlfriday13 and @lyndausvi none of the STDs FI and I have received (that sounds so dirty, lol) have ever had hotel info on them. Same with the the STDs I saw that my sister and other family members have received. They were basically just pictures of the couple, the date, and a note that said formal invitation to follow. Once we got the invitations the hotel info was part of an insert.

We didn't include any hotel info on our own STDs- just the wedding website url and password, but we have the hotel info on the website.

PrincessOfHavoc · May 2014

Inkdancer said:

PrincessOfHavoc said:

I dunno. My other attire would so be a Wonder Woman dress. With cape.

Could bedazzle the heck out of that.

Or just wear suitable battledress.

As in Dragon Age's Battle Dress of the Provocateur, or Irene Adler's battledress?

Seeing as I've already appeared in public in a bra and booty shorts, Irene's battledress isn't too much worse. Other than the 43 bruises I currently have from roller derby - which is why I have appeared in public in my underwear. Plus this http://dragonage.wikia.com/wiki/Battledress_of_the_Provocateur_(Awakening) might be a little too formal.

lyndausvi · May 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

@hisgirlfriday13 and @lyndausvi none of the STDs FI and I have received (that sounds so dirty, lol) have ever had hotel info on them. Same with the the STDs I saw that my sister and other family members have received. They were basically just pictures of the couple, the date, and a note that said formal invitation to follow. Once we got the invitations the hotel info was part of an insert.

We didn't include any hotel info on our own STDs- just the wedding website url and password, but we have the hotel info on the website.

Interesting. The only STD that didn't have hotel info was for my SIL. I think out of 300-something people we are only one of a handful of couples coming in from OOT, so no need for a hotel block.

huskypuppy14 · May 2014

lyndausvi said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

@hisgirlfriday13 and @lyndausvi none of the STDs FI and I have received (that sounds so dirty, lol) have ever had hotel info on them. Same with the the STDs I saw that my sister and other family members have received. They were basically just pictures of the couple, the date, and a note that said formal invitation to follow. Once we got the invitations the hotel info was part of an insert.

We didn't include any hotel info on our own STDs- just the wedding website url and password, but we have the hotel info on the website.

Interesting. The only STD that didn't have hotel info was for my SIL. I think out of 300-something people we are only one of a handful of couples coming in from OOT, so no need for a hotel block.

Pretty much every STD we've gotten had hotel block info or the website that had the info.

KGold80 · May 2014

PrincessOfHavoc said:
I dunno. My other attire would so be a Wonder Woman dress. With cape.

Could bedazzle the heck out of that.

Or just wear suitable battledress.

I actually have a Wonder Woman outfit. It does indeed have some shimmer to it.

tortoisebride · May 2014

This thread is stressing me out. I made my RSVP date June 21 for a July 26 wedding. I guess that's five weeks. I only need final numbers by the week before but I tend to overestimate things like this a lot. Like, if I know it'll take me roughly 25 minutes to get someplace but I haven't been there a lot of times before, I'll end up leaving forty five minutes before I need to be there. So that's kind of what happened with guessing an RSVP date. $:\$ I'm not doing save the dates and it's almost all family with just six invitations out of 30 going to OOT guests.

Anyway I guess I am not really looking for reassurance so much as saying it's not necessarily B-listing so much as a mix of ignorance and neurosis.

Weesh · May 2014

I think sometimes you're damned if you do and your damned if you don't, I sent my invites out this week for our July 4th wedding--exactly 8 weeks out. RSVP date is 2 weeks before the wedding, numbers are due to the caterer 10 days before. Sent STDs to family, bridal party, and close friends, and most people are aware of the date. The hotel block expires the first week of June, but we put our wedding website on the STDs, and we told our friends/family about the hotels. I thought all of my lurking had paid off.

FI came home today to tell me that a few of the guys he works with were giving him a hard time because they only got the invite this week, and some have already started making plans for the 4th. I told him that was the risk we were taking with a 4th of July wedding, and that if they had already made plans, it wasn't a big deal. He forgot that he told me he DIDN'T want to send them STDs because he knew STD=invite and he wasn't sure who he wanted to invite specifically when the STDs went out.

I don't understand invites that arrive 3+ months out. I'd forget. I'm wondering if vendors and wedding professionals are encouraging earlier and earlier RSVPs.

beethery · May 2014

Schatzi13 said:

LDay2014 said:
I'd totally wear it on TOP of the sundress.
Or at least a cape...

I found this one when I was searching for that other image. It's actually pretty cool:

This is fucking amazing, and I want to wear it to every event I am required to attend.

casey8784 · May 2014

FI and I got an invite this past week for a wedding that is the last week of September. Due date is July 31st. Groom is a really good friend of FI so we penciled in the date on our calendar as soon as they told us a few months ago, so we're not annoyed by it. Confused and definitely side-eyeing it, but kind of just shrugged our shoulders at the same time.

As far as putting hotel/website info on the STDs, for FI and I it was one of the main reasons to send the STDs in the first place. Guests are 100% OOT and wedding will be in a resort town. Hotel blocks were ready and listed on the website by the time people received the STDs. Our wedding isn't until late October, but about 2/3 of the guests have already made hotel reservations, and I've heard that many have already bought plane tickets.

Many people suggested that we should do it 3+ months in advance, we are planning on sending our invites out the last week of August, at just about the 8 week mark...

kmedeiros89 · May 2014

adk19 said:

Couggal12 said:

I'm with @artbyallie, please post!!!!

Attire
Please wear semi-formal/dressy-casual attire. Our wedding is not themed to be super formal such as suits and ties for everyone, but it is not super casual either. So please wear something nice. No ball caps, ripped jeans, sweatpants, shorts, t-shirts, etc.

Just to give an idea:
Groomsmen will be wearing dress pants with matching vests, white button-up shirts with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, ties, and shiney black dress shoes. Bridesmaids will be wearing knee-length dresses. [Groom] will be wearing white dress pants with a matching white vest, white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, black tie, and shiney black dress shoes. My dress is floor-length.

wow, that's intense lol. It almost sounds like the descriptions you read on a website for a club. "no ball caps, ripped jeans, sweatpants..." I can't believe anyone would try to set rules as to what's acceptable to wear to their wedding. Also, why does everyone need to know exactly what the whole bridal party will be wearing??

kgd7357 · May 2014

We mailed our June 28th invites on April 21st. So just under 10 weeks. We have a June 6th RSVP. We have some out of the country guests, so we thought the 8 weeks was too short, but more than 10 was too much. June 6th is also the hotel block cut off, which is why we picked it.

cmclaire · May 2014

Ugh in general to attire notes. Always tempts me to wear fancy dress.

However, I'm an early invites person. Why? Because here in the UK that's the done thing - RSVP dates are generally 4-8 weeks out, invites 3-6 months out. There's no way in Hades I'd B list, but our invites went last week, because that's what we do here.

Just got an invite to an August wedding

Re: Just got an invite to an August wedding

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