Engaged but not really engaged....should I be planning?

futuremrsm515 · April 2014

You all have provided some good insight and feedback on the pros and cons of financing, savings and payment plans!

Every couple is different and should do what works best for them. Others may not like it or agree, however, it is the couple that has to live with their decisions.

I am new to Knot and this was my very first post. You're responses are appreciated!

JennyColada · April 2014

My fiancé purchased my ring with "payments", and he in no way went into debt for it.

He paid for it in cash and paid for it in three installments over the course of two months. He didn't want to carry the amount of money that my ring cost him all on one go and he didn't want to raise any IRS red flags with withdrawing the money in cash from his bank account at all once.

Just wanted to throw that out there that saying that someone is "making payments" isn't always the worst case scenario.

sdo1010 · April 2014

My situation is similar to yours. My soon to be Fiance and I went ring shopping and he put a deposit down on the ring as well several months ago. The ring is now in his possession...just waiting for the proposal. We went venue shopping back in January because we wanted the date 5/15/15, but that date and all Friday's in may were already booked so we put a deposit down and booked for 6/5/15. The venue we chose is very popular and books quickly. It doesn't matter what order things go in as long as you both are geared toward being married and wanting to set the date for next year. If you want to start planning go ahead. I am someone who likes to plan early and prefer to do so. I am also realizing the budget that we need to maintain and figuring out the cost of every part of our wedding and so glad that I have started early with this process. Go ahead, have fun with it and enjoy the process as long as you have a well thought out plan!

futuremrsm515 · April 2014

Awesome @Sonyadesiree! We have narrowed down the venue list down to 3 choices. Trying to make a decision quickly because as you stated everything is booking up for 5/15/15! Thanks and wish you the best....

sdo1010 · April 2014

@MizzLeeLee13 Thanks and good luck to you on the venue shopping and the DATE!

sbar58926 · May 2014

Another vote for making payments can be okay. My boyfriend bought me a ring that he made payments on. It was not very expensive and he had more than enough to pay for it then and there, but he was trying to build up a credit history in any way possible and heard making payments on things like that can help? I think the payments were around ten dollars or something.

I think you can plan whenever you and your significant other agree that it's time to. But if you're planning it I would call you engaged, not dating.

mrsmorales2be · May 2014

I know exactly what you mean. We were "engaged" for over 5 months before we were actually engaged. We would talk and plan, but I had the hardest time with actually making plans, even though he would encourage me to plan away...now that everything's official, though, it's time to move into high gear, especially since we're getting married in less than 7 months!!

karimichele · May 2014

I'm in a similar situation. Everyone we know knows that we're getting married, he just hasn't gotten down on one knee with a ring yet. We've talked about time, place, guests, etc. I had to go ahead to look at venues. We're planning on moving back to near my hometown and getting married in that area. Since I happened to be down there last week my mom and I looked a a couple venues. What really kills me is I keep getting emails for dress sales and am dying to go but refuse to until I have the ring on my finger. (That being said, one of my best friends had her venue booked AND her dress before the ring)

faithdevilsbee · May 2014

@futuremrsm515 - since your nick changed, does this mean he proposed?? I was in similar situation as you - my bf said he didn't want to have to learn a new anniversary date so we had to get married on the same date as our first date. We joked that it happened to fall on a Saturday next year. He then started telling me that I could start my planning if I wanted to, but I thought it was weird without the ring. Don't get me wrong, I've had a Pinterest wedding board for over a year now, but I didn't want to do concrete things. Well, he proposed last month and I now feel like I have a great leg up since I had been mentally preparing for a while!

And I agree with you, @princesssilver - no dress until the ring. Somehow I feel that's bad luck? I don't know.

Calder75 · May 2014

I have to say, it's disappointing to see such rude responses from so many people. If you want to start planning your wedding, go for it -- it's no one's decision or opinion but yours. The way your BF is paying for the ring is no one's business but yours. I would say that this may have not been the best forum to post a question like this or financial information - as I've been reading through a variety of posts here, I'm not surprised so many members responded the way they did. No one needs to judge you for your decisions. Don't feel that anyone needs to tell you it's okay to start planning, or whatever you want to do -- it's your decision.

futuremrsm515 · May 2014

Thanks for the feedback @Calder75. I totally agree with you. Perhaps I should have thought more before posting however I was excited to begin this journey and was just looking for a forum to share. While the conversations totally went left field, I honestly could care less about the negativity as my then BF now FI are extremely happy and blessed. He and I are in this together and have begun our planning. I am glad to see there are some FB who choose to encourage... ;-)

jenndeirdre · May 2014

I choose my ring and knew when it was paid for (we know where each other money goes for everything) still was surprised when he gave it to me though haha. But we had started bouncing ideas around well before it was bought. Just now really started planning now that it's official though!

Engaged but not really engaged....should I be planning?

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