Babysitter for Reception

melissann174 · May 2014

Hi everyone!

I do not want children at the reception (there is a charge for kids) , but since there may be people who are coming from far who have to bring their children I want to hire a babysitter (a teacher friend of mine) to watch them at a room in the hotel where the reception will be. How much should I pay this person? I have also offered to pay for a room in the case that they do not want to travel late at night. There would be about 5 - 7 children (probably closer to 5). Help!

-Melissa

Jen4948 · May 2014

Does this person babysit on other occasions? If so, I'd ask her how much she charges.

My own guess of what to pay would be probably around $200 depending on where you are.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

melissann174 said:

Hi everyone!

I do not want children at the reception (there is a charge for kids) , but since there may be people who are coming from far who have to bring their children I want to hire a babysitter (a teacher friend of mine) to watch them at a room in the hotel where the reception will be. How much should I pay this person? I have also offered to pay for a room in the case that they do not want to travel late at night. There would be about 5 - 7 children (probably closer to 5). Help!

-Melissa

There are a lot of threads on this already, but here goes.

Just because you hire her doesn't mean that your parent-friends are going to want to use her. Lots of parents aren't OK with leaving their child with someone they don't know.

Your options are:

1. To not invite children at all and let parents decide if they want to attend

2. To tell parents there will be a babysitter at the reception but children will not be allowed at the reception and let them decide if they want to attend

As for what you should pay her, that will depend on the number of children, their ages, and how long she's watching them for.

doeydo · May 2014

You do not have to invite children if you don't want them there, even if that means some guests might not come (as long as you are OK with that). Also, if I had children, I would not leave them in the care of someone I do not know.

mysticl · May 2014

There is no way I would leave my child with a stranger. If you don't want kids at the wedding don't invite them. The parents will either arrange for a sitter or not come.

Also, 5-7 children cooped up in a hotel room for hours is just asking for someone to make a complaint (or 10) to management.

crunchymamaof2 · May 2014

Unless you've been told by each family that they want and will use this sitter I would scratch this idea. There's really nothing stopping parents from bringing their kids to the reception if they get cranky with the sitter. It's fine not to invite kids. Also, there really shouldn't be more than 4-6 kids for 1 person to watch.

Simply Fated · May 2014

I would ask her what her usual rates are. I can't say for sure what they should be, because it would absolutely depend on the area, her experience, the total amount of children, etc. Maybe if we had more info we could help?

I know pps have mentioned this, but I feel it's only fair to you to mention that most parents I know (and have baby sat for) would never dream of leaving their children with someone they don't know. Is there a way for these parents to meet her beforehand or a way to check her references?

Also, it's kinda awkward to "force" parents to leave their kids with a sitter. What if they get into town and decide they don't want to use the sitter, afterall?

JaxInBlue · May 2014

Agree with PPs. We were able to provide onsite babysitting at our reception because we could hire someone most of the parents used. Even with on-site sitters, the kids came and went from the reception and didn't just stay with the sitter; they had dinner, left during the "boring stuff," all came back for cake and then popped in and out during the dancing. The babysitters wound up being people that could spell the parents more than primary care providers. That was fine with us; we really just wanted the adults to be able to have some relief if they want to eat or dance or whatever.

A babysitter won't guarantee you a child-free event. It that is what you truly want, it would probably be better to decline to invite any children and then let parents make their own arrangements.

Jen4948 · May 2014

Simply Fated said:

I would ask her what her usual rates are. I can't say for sure what they should be, because it would absolutely depend on the area, her experience, the total amount of children, etc. Maybe if we had more info we could help? I know pps have mentioned this, but I feel it's only fair to you to mention that most parents I know (and have baby sat for) would never dream of leaving their children with someone they don't know. Is there a way for these parents to meet her beforehand or a way to check her references? Also, it's kinda awkward to "force" parents to leave their kids with a sitter. What if they get into town and decide they don't want to use the sitter, afterall?

Then they'll have to make other arrangements for their kids that don't involve their bringing them to the wedding.

Maggie0829 · May 2014

I am not a fan of hiring a babysitter for weddings. Many parents do not feel comfortable just leaving their child with a stranger for a handful of hours. If you don't want kids there then don't invite them. Call anybody who adds them to the RSVP and let them know you cannot accommodate their kids. If they decline because of that, well that is the risk you take when you say no kids.

Simply Fated · May 2014

Jen4948 said:

Simply Fated said:

I would ask her what her usual rates are. I can't say for sure what they should be, because it would absolutely depend on the area, her experience, the total amount of children, etc. Maybe if we had more info we could help?

I know pps have mentioned this, but I feel it's only fair to you to mention that most parents I know (and have baby sat for) would never dream of leaving their children with someone they don't know. Is there a way for these parents to meet her beforehand or a way to check her references?

Also, it's kinda awkward to "force" parents to leave their kids with a sitter. What if they get into town and decide they don't want to use the sitter, afterall?

Then they'll have to make other arrangements for their kids that don't involve their bringing them to the wedding.

Exactly, which is why I think that should be the resolution from the get-go.
I just feel that offering a sitter for all the kids near the reception site, especially AT the reception site, just leaves things open for misinterpretation.

OnceUponAVine · May 2014

I work as a full-time nanny and have done event sitting in the past for acquaintances. I typically charge around $50 per hour for a group of 5-7 children ages 2+ which includes activities, crafts, games, and snacks that I provide. One set of parents (or the bridge & groom) "host" the kids in their hotel room so that they're not in and out of the wedding/reception.

That being said most parents are not comfortable leaving their child with a sitter they don't know and haven't had a chance to interview. So, if you want to offer childcare then look into prices (they will vary depending on where you are, the number and ages of the kids, and what the caregiver is providing) and ask the parents if its something they would be interested in.

crunchymamaof2 · May 2014

Simply Fated said:

I would ask her what her usual rates are. I can't say for sure what they should be, because it would absolutely depend on the area, her experience, the total amount of children, etc. Maybe if we had more info we could help? I know pps have mentioned this, but I feel it's only fair to you to mention that most parents I know (and have baby sat for) would never dream of leaving their children with someone they don't know. Is there a way for these parents to meet her beforehand or a way to check her references? Also, it's kinda awkward to "force" parents to leave their kids with a sitter. What if they get into town and decide they don't want to use the sitter, afterall?

Then they'll have to make other arrangements for their kids that don't involve their bringing them to the wedding.

Completely agree. But said kids just shouldn't be invited from the getgo. Unless you're talking 1-3 families that you know super well and can clearly get the message across to, hiring a babysitter for anyone who wants it can get confusing. If kids are in the same area I can almost promise that they'll wander into the reception or want their parents. Yes, parents should then take the children out of the reception and make arrangements but in reality that's not how it will always work. Unless you're okay with the possibility of kids and simply want to have a babysitter for parents to use at their discretion throughout the reception children just shouldn't be invited period. No babysitter, no accommodations, just a simple "I'm sorry we can't accommodate Susie and billy." Saves a lot of headaches.

Jen4948 · May 2014

crunchymamaof2 said:

Simply Fated said:

I would ask her what her usual rates are. I can't say for sure what they should be, because it would absolutely depend on the area, her experience, the total amount of children, etc. Maybe if we had more info we could help? I know pps have mentioned this, but I feel it's only fair to you to mention that most parents I know (and have baby sat for) would never dream of leaving their children with someone they don't know. Is there a way for these parents to meet her beforehand or a way to check her references? Also, it's kinda awkward to "force" parents to leave their kids with a sitter. What if they get into town and decide they don't want to use the sitter, afterall?

Then they'll have to make other arrangements for their kids that don't involve their bringing them to the wedding.
Completely agree. But said kids just shouldn't be invited from the getgo. Unless you're talking 1-3 families that you know super well and can clearly get the message across to, hiring a babysitter for anyone who wants it can get confusing. If kids are in the same area I can almost promise that they'll wander into the reception or want their parents. Yes, parents should then take the children out of the reception and make arrangements but in reality that's not how it will always work. Unless you're okay with the possibility of kids and simply want to have a babysitter for parents to use at their discretion throughout the reception children just shouldn't be invited period. No babysitter, no accommodations, just a simple "I'm sorry we can't accommodate Susie and billy." Saves a lot of headaches.

They may want their parents, but good babysitters can keep them from wandering into the reception. Plus, said babysitters can ask someone to get the parents to come to the babysitting room.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

I won't even leave my dog with a stranger, let alone a stranger and 5-7 other strange dogs. I couldn't imagine leaving hypothetical future children in the same situation.

mysticl · May 2014

Jen4948 said:

crunchymamaof2 said:

Simply Fated said:

I would ask her what her usual rates are. I can't say for sure what they should be, because it would absolutely depend on the area, her experience, the total amount of children, etc. Maybe if we had more info we could help? I know pps have mentioned this, but I feel it's only fair to you to mention that most parents I know (and have baby sat for) would never dream of leaving their children with someone they don't know. Is there a way for these parents to meet her beforehand or a way to check her references? Also, it's kinda awkward to "force" parents to leave their kids with a sitter. What if they get into town and decide they don't want to use the sitter, afterall?

Then they'll have to make other arrangements for their kids that don't involve their bringing them to the wedding.
Completely agree. But said kids just shouldn't be invited from the getgo. Unless you're talking 1-3 families that you know super well and can clearly get the message across to, hiring a babysitter for anyone who wants it can get confusing. If kids are in the same area I can almost promise that they'll wander into the reception or want their parents. Yes, parents should then take the children out of the reception and make arrangements but in reality that's not how it will always work. Unless you're okay with the possibility of kids and simply want to have a babysitter for parents to use at their discretion throughout the reception children just shouldn't be invited period. No babysitter, no accommodations, just a simple "I'm sorry we can't accommodate Susie and billy." Saves a lot of headaches.

They may want their parents, but good babysitters can keep them from wandering into the reception. Plus, said babysitters can ask someone to get the parents to come to the babysitting room.

Who is she going to send? If she's the only adult she can't leave the kids in the room and it would be irresponsible of her to send one of the kids to go find the parents.

Maggie0829 · May 2014

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

crunchymamaof2 said:

Simply Fated said:

I would ask her what her usual rates are. I can't say for sure what they should be, because it would absolutely depend on the area, her experience, the total amount of children, etc. Maybe if we had more info we could help? I know pps have mentioned this, but I feel it's only fair to you to mention that most parents I know (and have baby sat for) would never dream of leaving their children with someone they don't know. Is there a way for these parents to meet her beforehand or a way to check her references? Also, it's kinda awkward to "force" parents to leave their kids with a sitter. What if they get into town and decide they don't want to use the sitter, afterall?

Then they'll have to make other arrangements for their kids that don't involve their bringing them to the wedding.
Completely agree. But said kids just shouldn't be invited from the getgo. Unless you're talking 1-3 families that you know super well and can clearly get the message across to, hiring a babysitter for anyone who wants it can get confusing. If kids are in the same area I can almost promise that they'll wander into the reception or want their parents. Yes, parents should then take the children out of the reception and make arrangements but in reality that's not how it will always work. Unless you're okay with the possibility of kids and simply want to have a babysitter for parents to use at their discretion throughout the reception children just shouldn't be invited period. No babysitter, no accommodations, just a simple "I'm sorry we can't accommodate Susie and billy." Saves a lot of headaches.

They may want their parents, but good babysitters can keep them from wandering into the reception. Plus, said babysitters can ask someone to get the parents to come to the babysitting room.

Who is she going to send? If she's the only adult she can't leave the kids in the room and it would be irresponsible of her to send one of the kids to go find the parents.

Phone numbers of the parents can be left with the babysitter, but then the parents might be too busy dancing and drinking or talking or whatever to hear their phone.

Again, if you don't want kids at or near your wedding them don't invite them at all. No babysitters, no daycare, no nothing.

Jen4948 · May 2014

mysticl said:

Jen4948 said:

crunchymamaof2 said:

Simply Fated said:

I would ask her what her usual rates are. I can't say for sure what they should be, because it would absolutely depend on the area, her experience, the total amount of children, etc. Maybe if we had more info we could help? I know pps have mentioned this, but I feel it's only fair to you to mention that most parents I know (and have baby sat for) would never dream of leaving their children with someone they don't know. Is there a way for these parents to meet her beforehand or a way to check her references? Also, it's kinda awkward to "force" parents to leave their kids with a sitter. What if they get into town and decide they don't want to use the sitter, afterall?

Then they'll have to make other arrangements for their kids that don't involve their bringing them to the wedding.
Completely agree. But said kids just shouldn't be invited from the getgo. Unless you're talking 1-3 families that you know super well and can clearly get the message across to, hiring a babysitter for anyone who wants it can get confusing. If kids are in the same area I can almost promise that they'll wander into the reception or want their parents. Yes, parents should then take the children out of the reception and make arrangements but in reality that's not how it will always work. Unless you're okay with the possibility of kids and simply want to have a babysitter for parents to use at their discretion throughout the reception children just shouldn't be invited period. No babysitter, no accommodations, just a simple "I'm sorry we can't accommodate Susie and billy." Saves a lot of headaches.

They may want their parents, but good babysitters can keep them from wandering into the reception. Plus, said babysitters can ask someone to get the parents to come to the babysitting room.

Who is she going to send? If she's the only adult she can't leave the kids in the room and it would be irresponsible of her to send one of the kids to go find the parents.

She might be able to grab a staff person and ask them. Or she can phone, email, or text the parents if they give her their phone number and/or email address, which I'm sure she wouldn't go without in this day and age.

Simply Fated · May 2014

Ok, so say the sitter calls the parent on the cellphone and the parent comes and picks up the kid and takes him or her into the reception. Is there really a way to stop the parent from doing this?

PrettyGirlLost · May 2014

lolo883 said:
I won't even leave my dog with a stranger, let alone a stranger and 5-7 other strange dogs. I couldn't imagine leaving hypothetical future children in the same situation.

She's a teacher though which means she has her clearances. I get what you are saying to a point, but at some point you are going to be leaving your kids with strangers. . . You aren't going to know each one of your kids teachers prior to them going to school, right?

Simply Fated · May 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:
I won't even leave my dog with a stranger, let alone a stranger and 5-7 other strange dogs. I couldn't imagine leaving hypothetical future children in the same situation.
She's a teacher though which means she has her clearances. I get what you are saying to a point, but at some point you are going to be leaving your kids with strangers. . . You aren't going to know each one of your kids teachers prior to them going to school, right?

My parents always got to meet my elementary teachers before classes started. They (well, in this case my dad) got to meet my middle school teachers before I stared there. After that, they could have met them by request. Including high school teachers.

Jen4948 · May 2014

Simply Fated said:

Ok, so say the sitter calls the parent on the cellphone and the parent comes and picks up the kid and takes him or her into the reception. Is there really a way to stop the parent from doing this?

Just ask the parent not to.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:
I won't even leave my dog with a stranger, let alone a stranger and 5-7 other strange dogs. I couldn't imagine leaving hypothetical future children in the same situation.
She's a teacher though which means she has her clearances. I get what you are saying to a point, but at some point you are going to be leaving your kids with strangers. . . You aren't going to know each one of your kids teachers prior to them going to school, right?

Yeah, I'll meet them first. If they go to school (I didn't).

Attending a party would not be a good enough reason for me to leave my kid with a total stranger. I'd hire my own sitter, or decline.

PrettyGirlLost · May 2014

Simply Fated said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:
I won't even leave my dog with a stranger, let alone a stranger and 5-7 other strange dogs. I couldn't imagine leaving hypothetical future children in the same situation.
She's a teacher though which means she has her clearances. I get what you are saying to a point, but at some point you are going to be leaving your kids with strangers. . . You aren't going to know each one of your kids teachers prior to them going to school, right?

My parents always got to meet my elementary teachers before classes started. They (well, in this case my dad) got to meet my middle school teachers before I stared there. After that, they could have met them by request. Including high school teachers.

A brief meeting, not really long enough to vet anyone really.

PrettyGirlLost · May 2014

lolo883 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:
I won't even leave my dog with a stranger, let alone a stranger and 5-7 other strange dogs. I couldn't imagine leaving hypothetical future children in the same situation.
She's a teacher though which means she has her clearances. I get what you are saying to a point, but at some point you are going to be leaving your kids with strangers. . . You aren't going to know each one of your kids teachers prior to them going to school, right?

Yeah, I'll meet them first. If they go to school (I didn't).

Attending a party would not be a good enough reason for me to leave my kid with a total stranger. I'd hire my own sitter, or decline.

Meaning you were homeschooled, right? Not that you didn't get an education.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:
I won't even leave my dog with a stranger, let alone a stranger and 5-7 other strange dogs. I couldn't imagine leaving hypothetical future children in the same situation.
She's a teacher though which means she has her clearances. I get what you are saying to a point, but at some point you are going to be leaving your kids with strangers. . . You aren't going to know each one of your kids teachers prior to them going to school, right?

Yeah, I'll meet them first. If they go to school (I didn't).

Attending a party would not be a good enough reason for me to leave my kid with a total stranger. I'd hire my own sitter, or decline.
Meaning you were homeschooled, right? Not that you didn't get an education.

Lol yes. As much as I like to say I went straight from 5th grade to college, I was homeschooled in between.

PrettyGirlLost · May 2014

lolo883 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:
I won't even leave my dog with a stranger, let alone a stranger and 5-7 other strange dogs. I couldn't imagine leaving hypothetical future children in the same situation.
She's a teacher though which means she has her clearances. I get what you are saying to a point, but at some point you are going to be leaving your kids with strangers. . . You aren't going to know each one of your kids teachers prior to them going to school, right?

Yeah, I'll meet them first. If they go to school (I didn't).

Attending a party would not be a good enough reason for me to leave my kid with a total stranger. I'd hire my own sitter, or decline.
Meaning you were homeschooled, right? Not that you didn't get an education.
Lol yes. As much as I like to say I went straight from 5th grade to college, I was homeschooled in between.

I was going to be very impressed ;-)

Simply Fated · May 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

Simply Fated said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

lolo883 said:
I won't even leave my dog with a stranger, let alone a stranger and 5-7 other strange dogs. I couldn't imagine leaving hypothetical future children in the same situation.
She's a teacher though which means she has her clearances. I get what you are saying to a point, but at some point you are going to be leaving your kids with strangers. . . You aren't going to know each one of your kids teachers prior to them going to school, right?

My parents always got to meet my elementary teachers before classes started. They (well, in this case my dad) got to meet my middle school teachers before I stared there. After that, they could have met them by request. Including high school teachers.
A brief meeting, not really long enough to vet anyone really.

They got to talk as long as they wanted. Same as if they were meeting a potential baby-sitter. I've met with plenty of parents when I use to sit. It was pretty much the same deal. Not an interview for the teacher, but long enough to feel out any possible craziness lol.
It's a bit different with a teacher because you know they've had background checks, as opposed to the 15 year old that happens to live a few blocks over.
Either way, you would HOPE the parents would want to meet the sitter, even one recommended by a friend.

crunchymamaof2 · May 2014

School is different. I know they're in a controlled environment with people who've passed background checks. We also get to choose the school we send them too and meet with the teachers and directors. Once our kids get to middle school age then they're more capable of caring for themselves and can tell me if something is up (not that our preschooler can't).

Some random stranger (regardless of their credentials) in some hotel or other area at a wedding filled with people we may not know? Hell to the no.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

I won't even leave my dog with a stranger, let alone a stranger and 5-7 other strange dogs. I couldn't imagine leaving hypothetical future children in the same situation.
She's a teacher though which means she has her clearances. I get what you are saying to a point, but at some point you are going to be leaving your kids with strangers. . . You aren't going to know each one of your kids teachers prior to them going to school, right?
Yeah, I'll meet them first. If they go to school (I didn't). Attending a party would not be a good enough reason for me to leave my kid with a total stranger. I'd hire my own sitter, or decline.
Meaning you were homeschooled, right? Not that you didn't get an education.
Lol yes. As much as I like to say I went straight from 5th grade to college, I was homeschooled in between.
I was going to be very impressed ;-)

You can still be impressed.

PrettyGirlLost · May 2014

lolo883 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

I won't even leave my dog with a stranger, let alone a stranger and 5-7 other strange dogs. I couldn't imagine leaving hypothetical future children in the same situation.
She's a teacher though which means she has her clearances. I get what you are saying to a point, but at some point you are going to be leaving your kids with strangers. . . You aren't going to know each one of your kids teachers prior to them going to school, right?
Yeah, I'll meet them first. If they go to school (I didn't). Attending a party would not be a good enough reason for me to leave my kid with a total stranger. I'd hire my own sitter, or decline.
Meaning you were homeschooled, right? Not that you didn't get an education.
Lol yes. As much as I like to say I went straight from 5th grade to college, I was homeschooled in between.
I was going to be very impressed ;-)

You can still be impressed.

Haha!

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