Recieving Line vs. Table Visits

MamaAlly89 · May 2014

My FI and I can't decide what we would rather do, receiving line or table visits. What did you do/will you do? Is it easier to do one over the other if you have a large guest list? We are expecting around 200 people.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

We did both.

We did a receiving line at the back of the church right after the ceremony. That gave us a chance to greet everyone who came and say 'Hi, thank you for coming.'

We then did table visits during the reception to spend more time chatting with people we wanted to chat with. During the table visits, we did not get to all the tables, but we each got to all the tables that mattered to us.

We had about 100 people who attended our wedding.

melbelleup · May 2014

We're doing both. At least if you don't get to see people at the table you still are covered by the receiving line

ETA: Right now, we stand at 254 guests. It will still go down I'm sure, but not drastically, probably 200... I don't know if we'll make it to every table.

climbingsingle · May 2014

I would rather do a receiving line. It seems easier than visiting each table.

SBmini · May 2014

No one in my family has ever done a receiving line, nor my fiance's family. So it is a concept completely foreign to us. We visited every table and greatly enjoyed it. I like this option better because the party doesn't stop for the other guests. They can still eat, drink, talk, etc as we visit others opposed to waiting in line.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

One of the benefits of a receiving line is that you only have to spend 10 seconds saying 'hi' to the people you didn't actually want to have there -- the shitty SO of your friend, for example.

With table visits, it's more personal, so if you deliberately avoid/snub/don't talk to someone, people notice.

mysticl · May 2014

We did a receiving line. As a guest I hate table visits. For one thing they always seem to drop by when I'm in the middle of eating. Another issue I have is that (at least in my experience) the bride and groom tend to do a general "hello and thank you" to whole table and move on so they hit everyone. Whereas at the receiving line it may only be 10 seconds but it is 10 seconds directed at just that person or couple.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

I'm on the other side. As a guest, I hate receiving lines. They feel far more impersonal to me, it's closer to 2 seconds than 10 because everyone is forcing you along like sheep, and it usually includes the entire bridal party/all the parents who I have no interest in saying hi to.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

lolo883 said:

I'm on the other side. As a guest, I hate receiving lines. They feel far more impersonal to me, it's closer to 2 seconds than 10 because everyone is forcing you along like sheep, and it usually includes the entire bridal party/all the parents who I have no interest in saying hi to.

Not necessarily; ours was me/DH; BSC granny; my parents. And frankly, since my parents hosted, had anyone said they had no interest in saying 'hi' to them, I would have been offended.

(BSC Granny, on the other hand, wasn't actually asked to be in the receiving line, she just kind of butted in, and then she bitched when she didn't know anyone to say 'hi' to. Well, none of your family came, and everyone else is on my side, so that's what happens.)

Even if you don't know the parents, if they're hosting, you should, as a guest, greet them. That's the polite thing to do.

I deliberately kept our WP out of the receiving line for their sakes and our guests' sakes, because I have been that BM and it sucks. You're like, 'Oh, hi, random person, let me talk to you,' and for some reason, they always want to hug the BMs and I am NOT a touchy-feely person, so please don't hug me.

mysticl · May 2014

lolo883 said:

I'm on the other side. As a guest, I hate receiving lines. They feel far more impersonal to me, it's closer to 2 seconds than 10 because everyone is forcing you along like sheep, and it usually includes the entire bridal party/all the parents who I have no interest in saying hi to.

Ours was just me and DH because I have also been the bridesmaid who didn't know about 90% of the guests.

As a guest I have been known to greet the bride and groom, the parents if I know them, then jump out of the line and skip the attendants. If I know any of the attendants I just catch up with them later.

littlemushroom · May 2014

We are doing table visits only with around 125 guests. Our ceremony and reception is at the same place, and the cocktail hour with passed apps starts as soon as the first person walks in. Even if we would only spend 10 seconds per person, that is still 20 minutes of a receiving line. That means the last people would miss about half of cocktail hour just standing in a line, which sounds pretty sucky in my head. So table visits it is.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

lolo883 said:

I'm on the other side. As a guest, I hate receiving lines. They feel far more impersonal to me, it's closer to 2 seconds than 10 because everyone is forcing you along like sheep, and it usually includes the entire bridal party/all the parents who I have no interest in saying hi to.

Not necessarily; ours was me/DH; BSC granny; my parents. And frankly, since my parents hosted, had anyone said they had no interest in saying 'hi' to them, I would have been offended.

(BSC Granny, on the other hand, wasn't actually asked to be in the receiving line, she just kind of butted in, and then she bitched when she didn't know anyone to say 'hi' to. Well, none of your family came, and everyone else is on my side, so that's what happens.)

Even if you don't know the parents, if they're hosting, you should, as a guest, greet them. That's the polite thing to do.

I deliberately kept our WP out of the receiving line for their sakes and our guests' sakes, because I have been that BM and it sucks. You're like, 'Oh, hi, random person, let me talk to you,' and for some reason, they always want to hug the BMs and I am NOT a touchy-feely person, so please don't hug me.

Well I'll obviously say hi to the hosts and thank them for their hospitality. I know it's not the standard to include the entire WP, but all of the receiving lines I've witnessed did include them all. And they were all awful. (Especially the hugging! Why do weddings make strangers so huggy?!)

I'd rather skip the line and say hi to everyone on my own time without all the waiting and cattle prodding. Just personal preference.

emmyg65 · May 2014

Both, kind of. After the ceremony, we stood at the front of the ceremony space and people congratulated us as they came up to sign the Quaker marriage certificate. It was spontaneous and informal, and just the two of us. We also visited tables during the reception.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

lolo883 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

lolo883 said:

I'm on the other side. As a guest, I hate receiving lines. They feel far more impersonal to me, it's closer to 2 seconds than 10 because everyone is forcing you along like sheep, and it usually includes the entire bridal party/all the parents who I have no interest in saying hi to.

Not necessarily; ours was me/DH; BSC granny; my parents. And frankly, since my parents hosted, had anyone said they had no interest in saying 'hi' to them, I would have been offended.

(BSC Granny, on the other hand, wasn't actually asked to be in the receiving line, she just kind of butted in, and then she bitched when she didn't know anyone to say 'hi' to. Well, none of your family came, and everyone else is on my side, so that's what happens.)

Even if you don't know the parents, if they're hosting, you should, as a guest, greet them. That's the polite thing to do.

I deliberately kept our WP out of the receiving line for their sakes and our guests' sakes, because I have been that BM and it sucks. You're like, 'Oh, hi, random person, let me talk to you,' and for some reason, they always want to hug the BMs and I am NOT a touchy-feely person, so please don't hug me.

Well I'll obviously say hi to the hosts and thank them for their hospitality. I know it's not the standard to include the entire WP, but all of the receiving lines I've witnessed did include them all. And they were all awful. (Especially the hugging! Why do weddings make strangers so huggy?!)

I'd rather skip the line and say hi to everyone on my own time without all the waiting and cattle prodding. Just personal preference.

I don't know, but I hate it. And you're right -- our wedding was the only one I've ever attended that DIDN'T include the WP in the receiving line. My mom balked at first and I was like, 'Mom, no one wants to say hi to my three BMs they don't know or DH's three GMs they don't know and Nephew is not going to want to stand in a receiving line and his parents and grandparents and aunt and uncle being in the line mean no one will be available to watch him so no. Not happening. They get a pass on this, end of discussion.'

And the huggy thing -- DRIVES.ME.NUTS. I am an introvert, and I have an anxiety disorder, and I just generally have personal space issues, so this whole 'being-touched-by-strangers' thing just freaks me the hell out. No, no, no, no, no. Don't hug me. Just smile. And move along.

SapphireCounselor · May 2014

We did table visits. It was so much fun! Our wedding was smaller, around 100. Aside from the formal "thank you for coming" table visits, I think we ended up talking/dancing/drinking/etc. with pretty much everyone at several points during the night anyway.

wandajune6 · May 2014

We're doing table visits. We think receiving lines would be more convenient but:

-We both have family and friends that the other hasn't met or have only met once or twice. It's much more personal if we can talk to these people together rather than have one person awkwardly try to place the face.
-Lanuage issues. His family speaks mainly Spanish, my family speaks no Spanish. Extrapolate as you will.
-We have a huge wedding party, including a few family members who would be offended not to be included- and that's a miserably long line!
-Our ceremony and reception are at the same place, making the timing awkward.

arrippa · May 2014

I went to a wedding that had a receiving line that included the B & G, their immediate families and the wedding party. There were 60 people that greeted the guests. We were toward the back of the line so it took over an hour to get through it. That turned me off receiving lines and onto table visits. They also played the shoe game and had the bouquet toss to three unmarried females (including calling me out by name since I wasn't married).

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

arrippa said:

I went to a wedding that had a receiving line that included the B & G, their immediate families and the wedding party. There were 60 people that greeted the guests. We were toward the back of the line so it took over an hour to get through it. That turned me off receiving lines and onto table visits. They also played the shoe game and had the bouquet toss to three unmarried females (including calling me out by name since I wasn't married).

You can't fix rude, or stupid, and it sounds like this wedding was both.

phira · May 2014

Honestly, I think the take-aways from this thread are:

You can do both if you'd like, but you shouldn't do neither.

The point of both is to make sure you're able to interact with every guest and thank them for coming.

buddysmom80 · May 2014

We're doing table visits, we have 7 total tables to visit (if our whole guest list attends). Also our ceremony is one room away from the reception area and like a PP said, once the first person enters the reception area, cocktail hour starts.

As a guest, I like table visits. Yes, it's usually right when I'm eating but it's more relaxed and informal than a receiving line. For some reason, receiving lines remind me of funerals (no offense to the receiving line fans).

arrippa · May 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

arrippa said:

I went to a wedding that had a receiving line that included the B & G, their immediate families and the wedding party. There were 60 people that greeted the guests. We were toward the back of the line so it took over an hour to get through it. That turned me off receiving lines and onto table visits. They also played the shoe game and had the bouquet toss to three unmarried females (including calling me out by name since I wasn't married).

You can't fix rude, or stupid, and it sounds like this wedding was both.

I look at her wedding as a what NOT to do. The only good thing she did was seat me next to the bar. I could reach out with my glass and the bartender would refill it. I didn't even need to stand. But the rest of the reception, yikes. Thank goodness for the wine and beer bar she hosted. That got us through it.

climbingsingle · May 2014

I hate when the BP is included in the receiving line. It's so uncomfortable! I had to do this for a wedding I was in 2 years ago. Ugh.

Our receiving line will be just me and FI.

PrettyGirlLost · May 2014

mysticl said:

lolo883 said:

I'm on the other side. As a guest, I hate receiving lines. They feel far more impersonal to me, it's closer to 2 seconds than 10 because everyone is forcing you along like sheep, and it usually includes the entire bridal party/all the parents who I have no interest in saying hi to.

Ours was just me and DH because I have also been the bridesmaid who didn't know about 90% of the guests.

As a guest I have been known to greet the bride and groom, the parents if I know them, then jump out of the line and skip the attendants. If I know any of the attendants I just catch up with them later.

I hate receiving lines. There have been times as a guest where I have skipped the line all together and just said my congrats to the couple at the reception.

I think they are tolerable when it's just the B&G and their parents, but I have never seen one go quickly- no one ever just says "Hi Congrats" and then moves on. Everyone wants to have a 20 minute conversation with the couple, so they take forever.

Therefore, we are not doing a receiving line. We only have 20mins after our ceremony to take pictures anyways, so there is no time.

We will try and thank everyone at our reception. It's "cocktail style' seating, so no ballroom filled with 60" round tables, but we will try and make sure we thank each person before the night is over.

beethery · May 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

lolo883 said:

I'm on the other side. As a guest, I hate receiving lines. They feel far more impersonal to me, it's closer to 2 seconds than 10 because everyone is forcing you along like sheep, and it usually includes the entire bridal party/all the parents who I have no interest in saying hi to.

Not necessarily; ours was me/DH; BSC granny; my parents. And frankly, since my parents hosted, had anyone said they had no interest in saying 'hi' to them, I would have been offended.

(BSC Granny, on the other hand, wasn't actually asked to be in the receiving line, she just kind of butted in, and then she bitched when she didn't know anyone to say 'hi' to. Well, none of your family came, and everyone else is on my side, so that's what happens.)

Even if you don't know the parents, if they're hosting, you should, as a guest, greet them. That's the polite thing to do.

I deliberately kept our WP out of the receiving line for their sakes and our guests' sakes, because I have been that BM and it sucks. You're like, 'Oh, hi, random person, let me talk to you,' and for some reason, they always want to hug the BMs and I am NOT a touchy-feely person, so please don't hug me.

Oh sweet lordy, thiiiiiissssssss! Outdoor wedding, GA, August. Everybody wants a hug, strangers are trying to hug, and all I can think is, "It is hot as hell out here, everybody is sweating ass. I'm short, you are going to put your armpits near me, and I don't want prolonged contact with anybody except my bff Margarita."

VulgarGirl · May 2014

We're planning on just table visits. My friends and family are not so good with lining up for things. Except booze and new iPhones.

My friends went around and passed out candies during their table visits, it was nice because it meant they talked to each person and also gave you candy.

mysticl · May 2014

arrippa said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

arrippa said:

I went to a wedding that had a receiving line that included the B & G, their immediate families and the wedding party. There were 60 people that greeted the guests. We were toward the back of the line so it took over an hour to get through it. That turned me off receiving lines and onto table visits. They also played the shoe game and had the bouquet toss to three unmarried females (including calling me out by name since I wasn't married).

You can't fix rude, or stupid, and it sounds like this wedding was both.

I look at her wedding as a what NOT to do. The only good thing she did was seat me next to the bar. I could reach out with my glass and the bartender would refill it. I didn't even need to stand. But the rest of the reception, yikes. Thank goodness for the wine and beer bar she hosted. That got us through it.

That part is kinda awesome. Makes me think of Lily of HIMYM during the Barney/Robin wedding story line.

mysticl · May 2014

beethery said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

lolo883 said:

I'm on the other side. As a guest, I hate receiving lines. They feel far more impersonal to me, it's closer to 2 seconds than 10 because everyone is forcing you along like sheep, and it usually includes the entire bridal party/all the parents who I have no interest in saying hi to.

Not necessarily; ours was me/DH; BSC granny; my parents. And frankly, since my parents hosted, had anyone said they had no interest in saying 'hi' to them, I would have been offended.

(BSC Granny, on the other hand, wasn't actually asked to be in the receiving line, she just kind of butted in, and then she bitched when she didn't know anyone to say 'hi' to. Well, none of your family came, and everyone else is on my side, so that's what happens.)

Even if you don't know the parents, if they're hosting, you should, as a guest, greet them. That's the polite thing to do.

I deliberately kept our WP out of the receiving line for their sakes and our guests' sakes, because I have been that BM and it sucks. You're like, 'Oh, hi, random person, let me talk to you,' and for some reason, they always want to hug the BMs and I am NOT a touchy-feely person, so please don't hug me.

Oh sweet lordy, thiiiiiissssssss! Outdoor wedding, GA, August. Everybody wants a hug, strangers are trying to hug, and all I can think is, "It is hot as hell out here, everybody is sweating ass. I'm short, you are going to put your armpits near me, and I don't want prolonged contact with anybody except my bff Margarita."

I live in GA, I feel your pain.

thisismynickname2 · May 2014

Another vote for table visits instead of a receiving line.

As a guest, I hate the lines. I have to stand awkwardly by some relative I don't know and will never see again. As an introvert, get me out of there.

Also, this is part of the reason I wanted a small wedding. Table visits for 200? I would hope y'all get time to eat.

Recieving Line vs. Table Visits

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