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Pre-wedding Parties

Engagement party Etiquette

My parents along with a few other family members put down a deposit at a restaurant for my engagement party but they told me I had to be in charge of the planning and inviting guests. If my family is paying for it but I am doing most of the work (which I don’t mind) is that considered tacky or not proper etiquette? I’m technically not hosting my own party, they are just giving me the liberty of inviting my closest friends and fiancé’s family.

Re: Engagement party Etiquette

  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Ehhh...technically tacky. Is there any way you can just give them a guest list and a date or menu or whatever else they expect you to "plan" and have them take care of the rest? Think about what the visible parts of the party are - who sends the invites, who thanks them all for coming, etc. Nobody else will know who paid the tab but they will see you doing all those other things.

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  • They picked the date and place. They pretty much just need me to go the food tasting to pick out the menu and one of my cousins made the invitiations for me. I just have to mail them out to my friends. But I see where it can seem as if I'm hosting my own.
  • Is "technically tacky but not doing anything to hurt anyone and taking your parents'/cousin's gift of an engagement party gratefully and in the spirit in which it was intended" really something you need to spend a lot of effort avoiding? :)
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Soozie86 said:

    They picked the date and place. They pretty much just need me to go the food tasting to pick out the menu and one of my cousins made the invitiations for me. I just have to mail them out to my friends. But I see where it can seem as if I'm hosting my own.

    Just have them RSVP to your parents and/or cousins and you should be ok.

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  • KryssiWKryssiW member
    10 Comments
    I don't think it's tacky.  It ensures you have the guests/food/decorations that you want.  And, you're not paying for it.  Seems ideal, as long as people aren't RSVPing to you.
  • My parents did the same thing to me.  They offered to host and pay for the entire party and they controlled the guest list 100%.  However, I was told to pick the food from a pre-arranged caterer, go shopping for decorations and other party supplies (it was in our house).  I was also told that even though they were hosting my FI and I were to set-up the party, host the party while it was going on (removing trash, filling up the coolers, switching out the stern-o's with new food etc).  They were doing this as well but there were 56 people at my house and it was impossible for just them to entertain the guests and keep the party going.  We helped out a great deal and it was successful.  My sister did the same thing when she got engaged a year earlier.
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