Etiquette

Is it OK for the groom and groomsmen to wear jeans when you put "semi-formal" on your invitations?

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Re: Is it OK for the groom and groomsmen to wear jeans when you put "semi-formal" on your invitations?

  • KGold80KGold80 member
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    All other stuff aside, my question is...why hadn't they already decided on the WP attire BEFORE the invites went out? That seems a little last minute, no?
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    PrettyGirlLostchibiyui
  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs member
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    umm..no..my vote is no..first of all attire shouldn't be on the invite and second, I think its tacky to indicate guests should be wearing nice clothes and let you BP come in casual clothes
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    PrettyGirlLostchibiyui
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
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    KGold80 said:

    All other stuff aside, my question is...why hadn't they already decided on the WP attire BEFORE the invites went out? That seems a little last minute, no?

    This is what I thought too.
  • kitty8403kitty8403 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited May 2014
    I'm sure somebody will take issue with whether or not "semi-formal" is even a thing, but when I hear that term, I think cocktail or church clothes. Not jeans.

    You see jeans a lot at Western weddings, but not all jeans are appropriate even there. For a major event, if you are doing jeans, go black or dark wash. Lighter blues are way more casual and don't work.
    chibiyui
  • umm..no..my vote is no..first of all attire shouldn't be on the invite and second, I think its tacky to indicate guests should be wearing nice clothes and let you BP come in casual clothes

    this is why 'semi-formal' shouldn't even be a thing...because no one knows what the hell it even means!
    PrettyGirlLostnebullamachibiyui
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
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    Apparently the bride and groom thought "semi-formal" means jeans paired with a "nice shirt."

    This is why semi-formal should not be a thing!  Nobody really knows what you mean.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    PrettyGirlLostchibiyuiclimbingwife
  • It is really tacky to put a dress code on a wedding invitation, unless it is a true "black tie" affair, which few weddings are.

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
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    I'm sorry, I have to comment here, for the sheer fact that I agree with you 100% that attire shouldn't be dictated to your guests on the invite (most people are competent enough to figure out what to wear to a wedding, right?) and the absolutely rediculous invite I got a few years ago for my cousin's wedding where his soon-to-be wife thought it necessary to add what colors should, in her words, "absolutely NOT be worn" ..... one of those colors was yellow....guess who bought a bright freakin big bird yellow dress? You're welcome :)

    *If it helps, when you open up the dictionary to the word "Bridezilla" her picture is next to it, flaming eyes/nostrils and all

    I look terrible in yellow. And I would have done the same damn thing.
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    PrettyGirlLost[Deleted User]chibiyui
  • BeccaEasterlyBeccaEasterly member
    First Comment
    edited May 2014
    While I agree that it seems silly to dictate to your guests what to wear and go so far as to say specific colors, purposefully going against her instructions just to make a point / be cute / make the bride mad seems pretty childish... Nothing to brag over...
    Jessie42613
  • Maybe I was appeasing my inner 5 year old :)
    PrettyGirlLostchibiyui
  • Maybe I was appeasing my inner 5 year old :)
    If your idea of fun as a five year old was being intentionally problematic for the sake of proving a point to someone on what is arguably the most stressful day of their life, I sure am glad I wasn't your baby sitter. :)
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
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    Maybe I was appeasing my inner 5 year old :)

    If your idea of fun as a five year old was being intentionally problematic for the sake of proving a point to someone on what is arguably the most stressful day of their life, I sure am glad I wasn't your baby sitter. :)


    Yeah I'm thinking you're really doing it wrong if what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life is the most stressful.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    pinkshorts27
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
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    I like how kahkis are the compromise here. I wouldn't consider them semi-formal either.
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  • Jeans? JEANS?! Semi-formal to me, has ALWAYS meant men in khaki's or chinos with either a button-down or a polo and a sports jackets, and women in some kind of sundress. Never jeans. To me, jeans are something you wear in the garden or painting or when you're running errands.
  • My dad wore jeans to his own wedding, but they certainly didn't have a 'semi-formal" dress code and made no bones about that. They had such a small and casual ceremony at my grandparent's house that there were literally tubs of ice and beer hanging out in the backyard to go with the bbq they ordered for the meal. so it worked. Heck, my grandmother had to beg my mom to actually wear a dress (as opposed to a white pant suit.)

    But how semi-formal turned into jeans and a nice shirt in this case is beyond me.
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  • Jeans? JEANS?! Semi-formal to me, has ALWAYS meant men in khaki's or chinos with either a button-down or a polo and a sports jackets, and women in some kind of sundress. Never jeans. To me, jeans are something you wear in the garden or painting or when you're running errands.
    and precisely the point...this IMHO is NOT semi-formal, I consider that to be quite casual
  • KGold80 said:
    All other stuff aside, my question is...why hadn't they already decided on the WP attire BEFORE the invites went out? That seems a little last minute, no?
    We're 56 days out and my FH has yet to pick anything other than a picture he's saved on his phone of what he wants to look like.  I dragged him to the store months ago, he found a suit he liked, and they didn't have it in his size.  So he decided it was too frustrating and has done nothing since.  At this point, whatever, he wears what he wears.
  • A Canadian tuxedo seems like the perfect solution

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    Northrendclimbingwifegrumbledore
  • When I was in high school, we had a "Semi-Formal" in the winter, and then prom, which was a "Formal" in the spring. Semi-formal to me has always meant dressier than cocktail dresses--essentially you could wear a cocktail dress if it was particularly dressy, but you could also wear a floor-length dress. Formal calls for tuxes and long gowns. So, cocktail<semi-formal<formal.

    No jeans! Jeans=casual. 
  • A) Adults should be capable of dressing themselves appropriately based on the time, location, event, and invitation
    B) The only times I can recall hearing an event described as "semi-formal" was high school dances. Semi-formal makes me think cocktail attire which is exactly that "Cocktail Attire"
    PrettyGirlLostLDay2014
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
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    My dad wore jeans to his first wedding. Of course they were married at the courthouse and they were nice jeans. As in, it was the 80s and they weren't acid washed or ripped so they were nice. 

    My mom wore white jeans at her second wedding. It was also incredibly casual. She also wore a green halter top. 

    No one used the word semi-formal and neither plan on wearing jeans to my wedding.
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    PrettyGirlLostKeptInStitches
  • My cousin threw a Semi-Formal birthday party for his wife.  He and his brother wore shorts and flip-flops (Semi) and a jacket and tie (Formal).  Birthday girl's mom wore a lovely cocktail dress (Formal) with yoga pants under the dress and a hoodie over it (Semi).
    grumbledoreInkdancer
  • KGold80 said:
    All other stuff aside, my question is...why hadn't they already decided on the WP attire BEFORE the invites went out? That seems a little last minute, no?
    Ya think?

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    PrettyGirlLost
  • Darn this is why I usually avoid reddit wedding threads - it's just bad karma for me.

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    ashleyep
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