Thinking of doing a thing.

kmmssg · May 2014

Swear to God this convo just happened. I am at a supervisor training course. A guy called HRO contesting info about his security clearance and not being chosen for job. It comes out in the convo that there is a bench warrant out for him. His response? "it is not my fault i didn't check the mail and did not know about the court summons that was there. " Swear.to.God.

misshart00 · May 2014

kmmssg said:
Swear to God this convo just happened. I am at a supervisor training course. A guy called HRO contesting info about his security clearance and not being chosen for job. It comes out in the convo that there is a bench warrant out for him. His response? "it is not my fault i didn't check the mail and did not know about the court summons that was there. " Swear.to.God.

Well that's awkward.

VulgarGirl · May 2014

kmmssg said:

Swear to God this convo just happened. I am at a supervisor training course. A guy called HRO contesting info about his security clearance and not being chosen for job. It comes out in the convo that there is a bench warrant out for him. His response? "it is not my fault i didn't check the mail and did not know about the court summons that was there. " Swear.to.God.

This is why I actually manage to check my mail every few days at least. I'm convinced there will be court summons I miss and then a warrant will be issued and I will go to jail and I already know I am not going to do well in jail I don't even like camping!

I have no idea what a court summons would even be issued for for me. I generally keep out of trouble. Anytime I've gotten pulled over by a cop, I'm convinced they're going to run my ID and find out I have a warrant out for my arrest. This is why I'm marrying a lawyer.

pinkcow13 · May 2014

I'll admit, I'm horrible at checking mail. I think once I went an entire month. When I know that I may have something coming in (like a wedding invitation or something), I do check it more regularly. There's just soooo much junk that comes in. I've been trying to check it more regularly, though. I did get a jury duty questionnaire last time I checked.

pinkcow13 · May 2014

Oh, and yes. Tequila. Always.

Sugargirl1019 · May 2014

Jury duty. If you don't show up, you could have just as much trouble!

Jury duty is so much more common than a court summons anyway, at least I hope, ladies. Lol.

VulgarGirl · May 2014

Sugargirl1019 said:

Jury duty. If you don't show up, you could have just as much trouble! Jury duty is so much more common than a court summons anyway, at least I hope, ladies. Lol.

I've only been called once, but they send the notices like 4-6 months in advance here. I don't know anyone whose gone that long without checking the mail.

misshart00 · May 2014

MagicInk said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

Jury duty. If you don't show up, you could have just as much trouble!

Jury duty is so much more common than a court summons anyway, at least I hope, ladies. Lol.

I've only been called once, but they send the notices like 4-6 months in advance here. I don't know anyone whose gone that long without checking the mail.

We get ours about 2-3 weeks in advance. So someone could easily have a warrant out if they never check their mail.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2014

But all of this still doesn't answer the question of... why is it such a big damn deal if people who aren't invited find out that invitations went out? Or hear any details at all about the wedding? We're supposed to trust our friends to check the mail (yes, they should do that) but not trust them to act like grown-ups when some of them realize they weren't invited? Sure, don't brag about what an incrediblyawesomeday it's going to be, or post about Daddy upgrading the meals to lobster tail, or post the list of people who weren't invited. But geez, they're going to figure it out anyway. Are our acquaintances who are close enough to be FB friends but not close enough to make the guest list really that unable to be happy for people when they see "I sent my invitations today, yippee! 6 weeks to go!" Honest question. Lots of my "friends" have said things like this and I didn't give a damn about it. Click "like," move along.

VulgarGirl · May 2014

misshart00 said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

Jury duty. If you don't show up, you could have just as much trouble! Jury duty is so much more common than a court summons anyway, at least I hope, ladies. Lol.

I've only been called once, but they send the notices like 4-6 months in advance here. I don't know anyone whose gone that long without checking the mail.
We get ours about 2-3 weeks in advance. So someone could easily have a warrant out if they never check their mail.

I would be so paranoid that I'd be checking my mail multiable times a day just to make sure one did slip in.

Seriously, getting a warrant is a big fear of mine. I'm convinced once there is a warrant I'll go to jail (FI has patiently explained this is not always the case), and I'm freaking terrified of jail. I cuss a lot and I've got tattoos and can fight (and have) but I am not tough. I'm from the 'burbs! I don't know gang signs! I wouldn't even know which gang to join! I may or may not have seen Oz a few times when I was younger. Plus my parents, they were into keeping me scared enough of jail to stay out trouble.

VulgarGirl · May 2014

lolo883 said:

But all of this still doesn't answer the question of... why is it such a big damn deal if people who aren't invited find out that invitations went out? Or hear any details at all about the wedding? We're supposed to trust our friends to check the mail (yes, they should do that) but not trust them to act like grown-ups when some of them realize they weren't invited? Sure, don't brag about what an incrediblyawesomeday it's going to be, or post about Daddy upgrading the meals to lobster tail, or post the list of people who weren't invited. But geez, they're going to figure it out anyway. Are our acquaintances who are close enough to be FB friends but not close enough to make the guest list really that unable to be happy for people when they see "I sent my invitations today, yippee! 6 weeks to go!" Honest question. Lots of my "friends" have said things like this and I didn't give a damn about it. Click "like," move along.

I'm pretty much with you here but...I know people who look to be offended at shit. I don't want to deal with their fucking drama of "why wasn't I invited!!!" because you're a damn drama queen nobody likes, that's why.

a13049 · May 2014

MagicInk said:

lolo883 said:

But all of this still doesn't answer the question of... why is it such a big damn deal if people who aren't invited find out that invitations went out? Or hear any details at all about the wedding? We're supposed to trust our friends to check the mail (yes, they should do that) but not trust them to act like grown-ups when some of them realize they weren't invited? Sure, don't brag about what an incrediblyawesomeday it's going to be, or post about Daddy upgrading the meals to lobster tail, or post the list of people who weren't invited. But geez, they're going to figure it out anyway. Are our acquaintances who are close enough to be FB friends but not close enough to make the guest list really that unable to be happy for people when they see "I sent my invitations today, yippee! 6 weeks to go!" Honest question. Lots of my "friends" have said things like this and I didn't give a damn about it. Click "like," move along.

I'm pretty much with you here but...I know people who look to be offended at shit. I don't want to deal with their fucking drama of "why wasn't I invited!!!" because you're a damn drama queen nobody likes, that's why.

Yeah, I don't get butt-hurt when I see a friend post about their wedding I am not invited to. Everyone know Fi and I are engaged, so its not a huge shocker if something about the wedding is posted on facebook. I won't make generalized comments to everyone regarding just my invited guest, like hey everyone be on the look out for my wedding invitations. A friend of mine posted 90 days until Vegas!!!!! We are going to have so much fun, I can't wait and we miss you! I posted a reply, we miss you too, can't wait. It didn't specifically say my wedding, but everyone knows and I am not keeping my wedding a secret. I have made generalized posts between friend about our marathon training which has led to loosing to much weight and needed to get my dress altered more than I planned. These conversations probably show up in friends news feeds. NBD, IMO

schellzinator · May 2014

A friend of mine didn't check her mail for six weeks and USPS made the assumption she moved. As a result, her mail was canceled. I took some time to find the right person to prove proof of residence again. I check my mail every day just to make sure I didn't get any more speed camera tickets (Husband and I have a bet going that results in me getting my favorite dinner). Bet or no bet, I still check it regularly - creature of habit I guess.

As for posting things on Facebook, I've seen Facebook cause too many problems - sometimes intentional - other times unintentional. Doesn't seem worth it to me. Why don't you text them or email them a reminder? Or give them some credit and wait for them to send the RSVP back - you will have to follow up with them anyway...

Rosebubbly · May 2014

StephJean83 said:

One of FH's GM asked me to text or FB message him when we mail out invites. Reason being is he checks his mail like 4 times a year. He "got" our Christmas card in February (mailed them in mid December). I would just private message or text the ones who you would question whether or not they check their mail regularly. Is it a thing to not check mail regularly? Even with my roommate paying bills online, we still get our monthly bills mailed to us, not to mention roommate's Playboy. I check our mail daily and actually was letting our neighbor know if we got any because he was hoping weeks without getting any.

@stephjean83 its totally a thing! Some of pur friends have actually had conversations about how long its been. I actually get everything electronically. There is this cool website, cant remember the name where you can unsubscribe to all the spam valpak and the like. I am in the process of doing all of that so I will be mail-less! Then, only good things will come in the mail like wedding invites, birthday cards and hand written notes! :-)

Viczaesar · May 2014

I did an online Secret Santa exchange with someone who, as it turns out, doesn't bother to check her mail more than once a month - even when she knows she's being sent a package. I kept waiting and waiting and waiting for her to say that she'd gotten the package, and worrying that the package had been lost, and finally had a go-between ask about it (because my identity was supposed to remain a secret), and then I found out she wasn't even bothering to check her mail! So friggin' rude.

Blue_Bird · May 2014

pinkcow13 said:

I'll admit, I'm horrible at checking mail. I think once I went an entire month. When I know that I may have something coming in (like a wedding invitation or something), I do check it more regularly. There's just soooo much junk that comes in. I've been trying to check it more regularly, though. I did get a jury duty questionnaire last time I checked.

Oh my.

Has no one ever seen, "The House of Sand and Fog"? Should be a cautionary tale for anyone who doesn't check/open mail regularly. Also, OP, I do not recommend accomodating your friends' laziness.

GuitarSlayer · May 2014

Dear FI apartment-sat for me when I was on a research trip. He took care of my cats, made sure the car ran fine....but checking the mail is beyond him. I got all of my mail from the past three weeks when I opened my box. He's just as bad about it for his own -- he only checks if he is waiting for something. Definitely do a person-by-person check right at the deadline if they haven't RSVP'ed; it's less of a cattle call that way.

Inkdancer · May 2014

lolo883 said:

But all of this still doesn't answer the question of... why is it such a big damn deal if people who aren't invited find out that invitations went out? Or hear any details at all about the wedding? We're supposed to trust our friends to check the mail (yes, they should do that) but not trust them to act like grown-ups when some of them realize they weren't invited? Sure, don't brag about what an incrediblyawesomeday it's going to be, or post about Daddy upgrading the meals to lobster tail, or post the list of people who weren't invited. But geez, they're going to figure it out anyway. Are our acquaintances who are close enough to be FB friends but not close enough to make the guest list really that unable to be happy for people when they see "I sent my invitations today, yippee! 6 weeks to go!" Honest question. Lots of my "friends" have said things like this and I didn't give a damn about it. Click "like," move along.

I wouldn't do it because there are people I know will be hurt that they weren't invited. FI and I had to make some tough choices about who to cut, and I don't want to start any trouble.

selenathegreat · May 2014

lolo883 said:
But all of this still doesn't answer the question of... why is it such a big damn deal if people who aren't invited find out that invitations went out? Or hear any details at all about the wedding?

I love seeing friends' wedding pics, and I can generally be happy for them when I'm not invited, but I do get a bit sad when I thought I would have been invited, but I'm not, and they post a bunch.

If I saw an "invites went out!" post I would assume they hadn't sent it to a particular list and I would find it a bit rude. Ditto PPs, text or PM or call.

ashleyep · May 2014

Not entirely related, but on the topic of checking your mail - we just bought a townhouse and the sellers never handed in their mailbox key. We're trying to get it from them, but in the meantime, we can't check our mail! We're not living there yet, so most of our mail goes to our apartment, and fortunately the RSVPs are going to my parents, but there's probably important mortgage papers in there and I can't freaking get at them. And I have no idea if the HOA can replace our lock or if it's the USPS, but USPS says it isn't. Arghhhh

Thinking of doing a thing.

Re: Thinking of doing a thing.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards