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Etiquette

Hosting own shower

Hey everyone,

  So this might ruffle some feathers and I think I need some reassurance or maybe even some people to tell me how innapropriate I am by doing this but my fiancé and I are hosting our own wedding shower. 

  We are having an, "I Do" BBQ at our house and planning everything. We are even making the favors and providing all the food and drinks. It is going to be very relaxed with no games and no opening of gifts, (well I hope so).

   I know this goes against all the rules and etiquette of how weddings go but we are doing everything our own way. We are paying for everything, we have no wedding party, I am only inviting my father and his girlfriend, (I have no family) and our wedding is going to be very relaxed with good food, drinks and dancing. I honestly just want to have fun and get all of our loved ones together, both at our BBQ and wedding. 

  Oh and we just bought our house and not many people have been here so this is also a great opportunity for our friends and family to see our home.

  We worded the invitations as a "I Do" BBQ but did put our registry on it. I see nothing wrong with it at all. We are going to make sure our guests are fed, happy and merry at both our BBQ and wedding. Ok, opinions please. Thanks. 

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Re: Hosting own shower

  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I'll say the same thing I said on your other thread.

    I think you know the opinions you're going to get but you just want to stir the pot.
    LDay2014HisGirlFriday13KeptInStitches
  • That sounds just lovely!  I'd love to see the invites-post a pic?
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Ionewton said:
    Hey everyone,

      So this might ruffle some feathers and I think I need some reassurance or maybe even some people to tell me how innapropriate I am by doing this but my fiancé and I are hosting our own wedding shower. 

      We are having an, "I Do" BBQ at our house and planning everything. We are even making the favors and providing all the food and drinks. It is going to be very relaxed with no games and no opening of gifts, (well I hope so).

       I know this goes against all the rules and etiquette of how weddings go but we are doing everything our own way. We are paying for everything, we have no wedding party, I am only inviting my father and his girlfriend, (I have no family) and our wedding is going to be very relaxed with good food, drinks and dancing. I honestly just want to have fun and get all of our loved ones together, both at our BBQ and wedding. 

      Oh and we just bought our house and not many people have been here so this is also a great opportunity for our friends and family to see our home.

      We worded the invitations as a "I Do" BBQ but did put our registry on it. I see nothing wrong with it at all. We are going to make sure our guests are fed, happy and merry at both our BBQ and wedding. Ok, opinions please. Thanks. 

    None of that makes it okay for you to host your own shower.  If you want to host a non-wedding related BBQ get-together that's fine - sounds like a housewarming party would be appropriate.  However, it's not okay to throw a party honoring yourself, which is what a shower and a bachelor/ette party are, and it's definitely not okay to throw a gift-giving occasion, which is what a shower is, for yourself.  If you want to do this make it a 'family gathering' or 'housewarming party,' don't mention the wedding at all and don't reference it in the party decorations, and nix the expectation on your part of getting presents.  Only then would this be okay.



  • @Simply Fated said it better than I could. Just don't do it... of course you will though because you don't ACTUALLY care what anyone here really thinks. You just enjoy seeing people try to talk you out of it because that gives you more attention and that seems to be what you love most which is why you are hosting your own party.

    Anniversary

    BabyFruit Ticker

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    misshart00nebullamaSoontobeMrsNytesaRachel21
  •   Too late... 

      I know that our friends and family will see it otherwise and just be excited to spend time with us and celebrate our new life including our house and marriage. We don't really care about proper etiquette and we do things our way. 

      If people bring a gift cool and if not I really don't care. 

      I just want to share what our plans are with other brides that want to do things their way and not listen to the proper way to have a wedding. 

      Do what you want and don't follow the way of others. It is your day and all that matters is you get to marry the man that you will spend the rest of your life with.  

    Ps. We also aren't having an open bar.
  • Awesome!
    Anniversary
  • Ionewton said:
      Too late... 

      I know that our friends and family will see it otherwise and just be excited to spend time with us and celebrate our new life including our house and marriage. We don't really care about proper etiquette and we do things our way. 

      If people bring a gift cool and if not I really don't care. 

      I just want to share what our plans are with other brides that want to do things their way and not listen to the proper way to have a wedding. 

      Do what you want and don't follow the way of others. It is your day and all that matters is you get to marry the man that you will spend the rest of your life with.  

    Ps. We also aren't having an open bar.
    To the bolded... bull. If you didn't care, you wouldn't have bothered putting the registry info on the invitations.

    Oh well. You asked for opinions and you got them.

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    RebeccaB88CamiSelene
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    So basically ... "Here's what we doing. I don't care what you think because this is what we're going to do anyway. So, give me opinions."

    Why bother posting?
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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    chibiyuiHisGirlFriday13pinkshorts27KeptInStitches
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Ionewton said:
      Too late... 

      I know that our friends and family will see it otherwise and just be excited to spend time with us and celebrate our new life including our house and marriage. We don't really care about proper etiquette and we do things our way. 

      If people bring a gift cool and if not I really don't care. 

      I just want to share what our plans are with other brides that want to do things their way and not listen to the proper way to have a wedding. 

      Do what you want and don't follow the way of others. It is your day and all that matters is you get to marry the man that you will spend the rest of your life with.  

    Ps. We also aren't having an open bar.
    Go away, AW.



    SoontobeMrsNyteshuskypuppy14ashleyepKeptInStitches
  • OP, get ready to be the talk of the town - and not in a good way.  What you have done is inexcusably rude.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    pinkshorts27ashleyep
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Gimme Gimme Gimme. Expect declines.
  • LDay2014LDay2014 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2014
    This is what happens when I go away for an afternoon?
    image
    KGold80KPBM89rajahmd
  • AlexisA01AlexisA01 Dubai, my royal playground. member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Wow....so SO.....bad. DO NOT do this. It's just very rude and self center, like a speshul snowflake rude that is very ME ME ME ME. 

    Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.

  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    You could have just had a housewarming party. Why does it have to be about your wedding. Presumably, people know you are getting married, if they wanted to get you a gift, they'll ask you where you are registered. 
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    ashleyep
  • vsgalvsgal member
    Eighth Anniversary 250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    So, you don't want gifts but you put registry info on the invites to a event you are hosting yourself? Classy.  

    You don't care about etiquette?  That is code for you don't give a crap about your family and friends.  Hope you FI is a good one, because he is all you will have left after this stunt and your crappy attitude.

    ROCK IS KING!!
  • This is what you sound like

    image
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    chibiyuiJCbride2015phira
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    So the point of this thread is 

    DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT!

    Got it.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    nebullamaHisGirlFriday13KeptInStitches
  • KGold80KGold80 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    There are so many things wrong with this...and all I can say is ewwwww!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker


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  • OP, your first post said that you think you might need some people to tell you how inappropriate you're being. Then they did. Then you posted saying that you don't care what people say. MAKE UP YOUR MIND
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Obvious MUD.  At least try a little harder to sound real, and not like an obviously fake bridezilla.  *Yawn*
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    cowgirl8238aleighc3
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I have nothing to add to this ridiculous thread other than:

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    ~*~*~*~*~

    beetheryrajahmdcowgirl8238CamiSelene
  • AzAnnieAzAnnie member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments 100 Love Its
    So you are going to do whatever you want no matter what....WHY ARE YOU HERE!?!?! Do us all a favor, just do it and don't tell us about it.
  • The Knot is jacked up enough today without obvious trolling, thanks.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    thelastdreamerpinkshorts27RebeccaB88
  • Just have a house warming party, not a wedding shower. That's what it sounds like it is. 
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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