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A YEAR?!?!

VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I have been informed that a newly married couple has a year to send out thank you notes. A year. 365 days. 8,760 hours. 525,600 minutes. To send thank you notes.

I'm calling bullshit and telling you all now that there isn't a chance in hell I'm pulling that shit. But apparently this information is floating around.
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Re: A YEAR?!?!

  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I have no idea where this came from, but I've heard it before. No, you do not have a year to send out a thank you note. I say two weeks after getting back from your honeymoon. I start side eyeing at a month or 6 weeks.
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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Right! We're doing a mini-vacay right after the wedding, so we'll probably start on our thank you notes for gifts given at the wedding when we come back. Anything before we'll write thank you notes as they come in.

    It did answer my question about why I didn't get a thank you note from my friend until like 9 months after her wedding. She was the one who told me the one year rule. 
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  • APDSS22APDSS22 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Anyone who says that is using it as an excuse for not writing prompt thank yous and should be taken with a grain of salt.  Or several around the rim of your margarita glass.  I don't mind couples waiting until after the honeymoon to write their thank yous but much after that I start looking askance and much MUCH after that, it just doesn't happen.  I mean, have you ever talked to someone who did this and actually managed to thank all their guests with appreciative, personal notes ONE YEAR after? 
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  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Guests supposedly have a year to give a gift and I think that's been twisted into thank you notes. However, even that rule is lame. Anyone can give anyone else a gift at any time.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    This is wrong.

    Guests have a year to send the couple gifts.  But gifts have to be acknowledged by the couple ASAP in a thoughtful, heartfelt thank you not.
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  • NYCBruinNYCBruin member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    I think it comes from the "rule" that you have a year to give a wedding present, because the couple is still "newly wed" enough that a wedding gift is still appropriate up until the point where they start celebrating anniversaries.  Some lazy person took this to mean that they have a year to write thank you notes, which is just untrue.  I mean, sure, better late than never, but if I don't hear from you within a month or two, I'm worried my gift didn't arrive.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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  • Fran1985 Fran1985 member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    No its the opposite! Guests have a year to send the gifts. So yeah if a couple doesn't get the gift until month 12 they cant send the thank you until then. No way do you get a year to send the thank you.

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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    See I'd heard the wedding gift rule (which I always thought was a little odd, but whateves) and figured somewhere a long the line, someone twisted the rule to their own lazy use.
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MagicInk said:
    See I'd heard the wedding gift rule (which I always thought was a little odd, but whateves) and figured somewhere a long the line, someone twisted the rule to their own lazy use.

    Right!
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  • mollyringwald15mollyringwald15 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    So if the guest waited a year to send a gift, and then you waited a year to send the thank you... makes complete sense.
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  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I don't even like the "year to send a gift" rule (or "rule"). Gifts aren't required, so who cares when they arrive? What I do like about the "rule" is that it emphasizes that there's no need to be offended when guests send gifts after the wedding, instead of before/on the day of.

    But yeah, the thank you note thing is bs. I don't usually get upset when it takes a month or two to get a thank you note after a big event, like a wedding. It took me a while to get my Bat Mitzvah thank you notes out (there were a lot of notes to write, and my Bat Mitzvah was at the start of the school year; I was very, very busy as a 13-year-old). But I do expect a thank you note, and I expect it within 3 months, tops.

    My future brother-in-law and sister-in-law never send thank you notes. I overheard FSIL mention that she had a year to send them out ... but it's been a year and a half, so good job there.

    People who think it's okay to wait a year to send a thank you note are the people who never send them.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Who the hell would even want to be worrying about thank you notes a whole year after their wedding? I would like to think that by that time I would have a ton of other things going on in my life. Just write them and be done with it. I don't understand why so many brides put this off. 
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  • DaisyMaeMommyDaisyMaeMommy member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    No way will I take a year to send out thank-you cards for my wedding gifts.

    Jesus, the gall of some people!
    Visit The Knot! Visit The Knot!
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    After 2 months, I start wondering and then if it's more than 3 months than I figure I'm not getting one. 

     I never got a thank you note for a wedding I went to for one of my old high school friends. She was one of the first weddings I went to as an adult.  I had read that you shouldn't bring a gift to the wedding itself, so I mailed her a gift. I really think she never got it, but I think she thinks I never got her a present. She sort of acted weird after that.  I talked to a mutual friend saying I never got a thank you note and she said that was strange because she did get a thank you note. I am not in touch with her anymore, unfortunately, but I'd really like to know if she got my present.

    My now FI and I went to a wedding just a couple months after we started dating, and FI gave a check. It was cashed, but he never received a thank you note. At least with a check you know it was cashed, with a mailed present you never know.
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  • syoun1njsyoun1nj member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Ugh I've spoken before about the shitty PPD I attended in March. 

    I just asked husband the other day if he had heard from the "groom" lately. He said no. We never got a thank you note for the gift I didn't really want to give them.

    Brief recap: Couple married to "get it over with" and had a PPD in March. "Groom" spent our entire wedding - in front of husband and my father - bitching about how dumb weddings are. Their PPD: fake vows, cash bar, awful fried food as only option, DJ, photographer (DJ and photographer arent poor etiquette. Just, kinda, things weddings have? And they weren't having a wedding! Because weddings are SO DUMB.). We gave a card and a gift card to Target. 

    So less than 2 months...and I'm still side-eyeing the rudest couple I've ever had to deal with.
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I judge anything longer than one month.

    I don't care if you went on a two-week honeymoon. You still had two damn weeks.

    The only reason I would give more time is if you had a 400+ person wedding and went on a two-week honeymoon.

    Otherwise....crank 'em out, get 'em done.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Maybe this rule persists from the days of chiseling thank you notes out of stone tablets and delivering them via donkey messenger. That's the only way a year would be ok.
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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    lolo883 said:
    Maybe this rule persists from the days of chiseling thank you notes out of stone tablets and delivering them via donkey messenger. That's the only way a year would be ok.


    *SITB*

    Every time you post, your sig makes me read it in Jennifer Lawrence's voice, and it makes your post that much better.
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I've heard this as well. I think maybe it came about because supposedly you have a year after the wedding to send a gift?
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