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I wonder why a larger home isn't on the table?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,
My husband and I got married nine years ago. Two years after that, his parents died in an accident and it was terrible. We were both in our early 30s, but the problem was his parents left behind his 10-year-old sister, Beth. She came to live with us, and we have housed, clothed, and fed her, paid for her therapy, and provided emotional support for her. She’s a great kid, I love her, and she helps babysit our children. However, we live in a cramped space and my husband and I have always wanted to expand our own family. I want to send Beth to live with her grandparents next year to free up some space. They couldn’t care for her when she was younger but should be able to now that she mostly fends for herself. She will be in college and will only be living with them on breaks. I brought this up to my husband, and he was outraged, saying that Beth can live with us for as long as she wants. I feel I was really good about taking Beth in when we were still practically newlyweds, but as much as I love her I don’t want her living with us forever. Am I being unreasonable here? How do I continue to approach this topic with him?

—Cramped Aunt

Dear Aunt,

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Re: I wonder why a larger home isn't on the table?

  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Aunt?  Wouldn't Beth be SIL?  WTF is she calling herself an Aunt?
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    why does a kid who is off to college even need room?

    I"m not saying to put her crap @ grandmas OR out at the curb...I'm just saying that having it be her 'home' for summers and breaks doesn't require a room dedicated just to this almost-adult.  So it shouldn't be affecting the other kids
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper

    Or mom?  This makes me very sad for Beth.

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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    it does sound like Mrs. Conn really REALLY holds some resentment for this kid having the audacity to be orphaned and fed and housed by them.

    (and I get that newlyweds aren't in a prime place to take 10 year olds.  I was asked, when I had been married less than a year, to consider a kinship placement of a cousin's kids.  I said I couldn't.  I still feel some guilt about that choice [even though it was the right one])
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  • jojobrnjojobrn member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    i2i @GBCK‌ she sounds completely put upon by having to take her sil in.
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  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Agreed, 6.
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I sincerely doubt that Beth is going to want to come home all summer when she's in college.  My bet is that she gets an apartment and doesn't bother coming home.
    image
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