Wedding Etiquette Forum

Don't be this bride

Just wanted to share a horror story with you. My good friend was invited to one of her in-laws' sister's wedding this weekend. My friend and her brother were invited, which I thought was nice--like, oh, that's sweet to include you even though you aren't blood! Turns out it was more of a gift-grab. My friend was telling me how she showed up with a card and her brother apparently did not show up with anything, which is kind of "meh" to me, since while they are nice, gifts are not the price of admission. BUT! Apparently the bride gave noticeable side-eye to both my friend and her brother. My friend felt terrible and like she'd made a horrible faux pas, and it was my distinct pleasure to tell her, "No, honey. When you invite someone to a wedding, you hope that they will show up and celebrate with you. That is it. Expecting or demanding gifts is tacky as hell, and if anyone should be embarrassed, it's the bride." It felt so right!

(Also, there could have been a shitload of cash in that card, and the bride couldn't have known it. Not that it would have made any difference, but it's just not that hard to choose the gracious reaction instead of the shitty one.)
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This baby knows exactly how I feel

Re: Don't be this bride

  • This makes absolutely no sense to me. How did the bride even see that they walked in without anything and why would she assume there was no cash? 
  • I simply DO NOT KNOW. Like, was there a receiving line wherein the bride "received" the gifts along with the humans she invited? What was not going on to the point where she had time to bean count instead of, say, enjoying her wedding? The world may never know the answer to these mysteries.
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • This makes absolutely no sense to me. How did the bride even see that they walked in without anything and why would she assume there was no cash? 
    This. I sat down and made a list after our wedding for thank you notes and I still can't tell you if there was someone we didn't get a gift from. That wasn't the point anyway. I hope there was cash in there so she would feel super shitty when she opened it later.
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