Just Engaged and Proposals

He proposed without a ring...

...and it was what I wanted. I don't wear jewelry and for me personally an engagement ring seemed an unnecessary and archaic custom. I love him and he loves me and I don't need a financial promise for that. We live together, have known each other for 13 years and have been together about 7 of those. He's helping me take classes to further my art career. We are a team. There was no need and no desire for a ring.

I've always 'oohed' and 'aaahed' and exclaimed at the prettiness and bigness of other girls rings, but honestly I felt nothing about the ring itself. I never in all my life pictured myself with one. Oohing was a social obligation and nothing more to me. As a girl we are supposed to "ooh' over rings and babies, so I fulfilled my obligation. Any emotion I felt was for the couple being happy. I'm happy that they're happy, and if the ring is a symbol of that happiness for them than it does deserve to be oohed and aahed over.

My mother never had an engagement ring, as they were very young and her wedding was a bit hurried what with my sister on the way.

He kept asking "Are you sure? you're not just saying you don't want a ring." And I said no no no and I meant it. After hearing about our engagement people would immediately look to my finger, which is natural and understandable. But some people after hearing about our engagement either gave him snark about not getting me a ring or actually felt compelled to pull me aside and make sure that I wasn't being cheated somehow. A friend offered to give me a dummy ring just to forgo the awkwardness, which I declined. I know it's not easy going against convention, but I did find it all a bit insulting.

Has anyone else gone without the engagement ring?

Re: He proposed without a ring...

  • Blackbird230Blackbird230 Connecticut member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    I did for a few months, however I knew FI was saving for one and he did give me it on May 1. The original proposal was extremely spontaneous.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • emmyg65emmyg65 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Yep, my now husband proposed with a bracelet. I didn't want an engagement ring, but it was important to him so he picked up a cheapie little ring while we were on vacation. I just wore it during the engagement and replaced it with my wedding band when we got married.

    Engagement rings carry a lot of freight that I wanted no part of, and the marriage is much more important to me than the engagement. But it's a personal decision and I don't care what other people do. Well, unless they buy a crazy big ring that they can't afford. That's just stupid.
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Not me personally, but a coworker doesn't wear a ring. I believe it's more of a cultural thing; she is Russian.  Not sure about her FI. 

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I got proposed to w/o one, but I got one later. My now husband was tired of waiting on me to pick one out so he could propose.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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