Thank you notes, timing...

levieenrose · May 2014

mrshutzler, thanks for posting about your thank you note timing. I'm now wondering how it will apply to my situation...

Someone (HisGirl maybe?) said 2-3 weeks after the wedding is acceptable. What if we are leaving right after the wedding for a three-week honeymoon? (Yes, lucky, lucky us!) We're not planning on spending our wedding night opening up gifts and recording everything...so thank yous are likely to not get done on the plane. I write long, personal letters but together we plan to cram it all in (ie. thank yous for those who attended and any gifts) the week after we get back. So, is 4.5 weeks between wedding and receiving a card in the mail really beyond acceptable?

Thanks!

ohoymate · May 2014

Yes, I've been wondering about the same thing. Our wedding is next week, and then we're gone for our honeymoon, home for 1.5 days, gone again on a family vacation. Essentially won't be home for 3 weeks after the wedding. As someone who had all of my shower thank yous out two days after the event, this is stressing me out.

I suppose there's nothing much we can do, but get them out as absolutely soon as possible after we're back.

On a related note, my mother just received a thank you for a wedding that happened in January. So there's that.

RebeccaFlower · May 2014

You're absolutely fine, especially when you're going to be gone for so long. I would suggest stamping and pre-addressing envelopes to make your life easier after.

MobKaz · May 2014

I try to keep a proper perspective when it comes to thank you notes. Following a smaller event such as a shower or housewarming, I have an expectation that notes will be done sooner than later. Following a wedding that may have upwards of 100 or more people, my expectation becomes a bit more reasonable. I hope that the couple will prioritize sending out those notes, but receiving it as long as 6-8 weeks after the wedding would not upset me. I just received one from a wedding held in late February. Like yours, the note was lengthy, detailed, and personalized. It was definitely worth the wait.

Your timing seems very reasonable to me.

grumbledore · May 2014

levieenrose said:

mrshutzler, thanks for posting about your thank you note timing. I'm now wondering how it will apply to my situation...

Someone (HisGirl maybe?) said 2-3 weeks after the wedding is acceptable. What if we are leaving right after the wedding for a three-week honeymoon? (Yes, lucky, lucky us!) We're not planning on spending our wedding night opening up gifts and recording everything...so thank yous are likely to not get done on the plane. I write long, personal letters but together we plan to cram it all in (ie. thank yous for those who attended and any gifts) the week after we get back. So, is 4.5 weeks between wedding and receiving a card in the mail really beyond acceptable?

Thanks!

Do them as soon as you get back. 4.5 weeks is fine. The rule here is that you should do them right after the wedding, or right after the honeymoon if you are taking one.

climbingsingle · May 2014

I think 4.5 weeks is totally fine.

MobKaz · May 2014

RebeccaFlower said:

You're absolutely fine, especially when you're going to be gone for so long. I would suggest stamping and pre-addressing envelopes to make your life easier after.

Someone in a recent thread offered a really good idea. When addressing her wedding invitations, she was also addressing envelopes to thank you cards at the same time.

AprilH81 · May 2014

Another tip... Keep on top of the Thank You notes for gifts received before the wedding. We received a few gifts before the wedding and I had that note in the mail within 48 hours of receiving the gift. That cut down on the number of notes we had to do after we got back from the honeymoon.

We just kept a pen, thank you notes and stamps on the end table in the living room so that everything was close at hand if we received a package early.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

I did say 2-3 weeks, but I generally mean '2-3 weeks from when you opened the gift.'

If I give you a gift 3 weeks before your wedding, I think it's reasonable to expect a TY before the wedding.

If I give you a gift AT your wedding, and I know you're leaving the day after for a three-week honeymoon, then the clock starts when you come back from that, so 4.5 weeks is totally reasonable.

It's the people who say, 'Oh, I have six months to do this' who grind my gears. No, no you don't!

Also, it depends on how large your wedding is (400 people will take longer to thank than 100 people will).

I had a friend who got married in September, six weeks before me and DH. Their wedding had about the same number of guests as ours did.

Our TY to them was done in four days. Their TY to us came with their Christmas card.

OnceUponAVine · May 2014

mobkaz said:

RebeccaFlower said:

You're absolutely fine, especially when you're going to be gone for so long. I would suggest stamping and pre-addressing envelopes to make your life easier after.

Someone in a recent thread offered a really good idea. When addressing her wedding invitations, she was also addressing envelopes to thank you cards at the same time.

+1 to both of these suggestions. The more you get done now (assuming you have time) the less you'll have to do later!

SomethingBeautiful08 · May 2014

If I get a thank you note for a gift that I gave at a wedding within two months the wedding, I normally don't think anything of it. In that time frame I'm assuming they are going right on a honeymoon, and the couple is writing 70 - 100 thank you notes. I know for a fact that any one of those is not occurring I generally expect it sooner, baring other extraordinary circumstances,i.e. if there is a death in the family.

My best suggestion for TYs is to get your FI and after the wedding DH involved. I did a lot of them by myself before the wedding, but afterwards, we sat down and one of us would address the envelop while the other wrote the note, it worked well for us.

RebeccaB88 · May 2014

2-3 months is perfectly acceptable to me, especially if you go on an extended honeymoon. I don't expect anyone to write any thank yous on the honeymoon, I expect them to enjoy themselves. Write them when you get home.

Hysilvinialithibel · May 2014

You may not want to put a stamp on an envelope for every single invitation... that seems crazy to me with declines and then any people who don't end up giving you a gift. If you stamped them all ahead of time you could waste a lot of stamps/envelopes.

jmichlik · May 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I did say 2-3 weeks, but I generally mean '2-3 weeks from when you opened the gift.' If I give you a gift 3 weeks before your wedding, I think it's reasonable to expect a TY before the wedding. If I give you a gift AT your wedding, and I know you're leaving the day after for a three-week honeymoon, then the clock starts when you come back from that, so 4.5 weeks is totally reasonable. It's the people who say, 'Oh, I have six months to do this' who grind my gears. No, no you don't! Also, it depends on how large your wedding is (400 people will take longer to thank than 100 people will). I had a friend who got married in September, six weeks before me and DH. Their wedding had about the same number of guests as ours did. Our TY to them was done in four days. Their TY to us came with their Christmas card.

I'm so glad to hear that six months is not reasonable. My MIL insists that you have "up to a year" but I think that's ridiculous. I went to a wedding 7 months ago that I have yet to receive a thank-you for (even though they cashed our check the next day) and I find it rather tacky... honestly not expecting a thank-you at this point but who knows?

levieenrose · May 2014

Thank you all for clarification and feedback! I meant to respond sooner, but I couldn't get the reply box to work and moved on to other last-minute things.

Okay, glad this sounds reasonable. We definitely sent out thank-yous for gifts received prior to the wedding within a few days of their arrival. And we've pre-addressed the envelopes, too.

(Side note about that last: I also did this for the shower and was so glad I did. And yes, always a good idea to stamp last! But I would not address envelopes as early as sending out invitations. Some people move and others--I have someone in mind here--decide spontaneously to drop the house and get an RV to roam around the country)

A few weeks ago, H-to-be had already suggested helping to write letters before I'd even thought about asking him to help. A keeper, ladies, right??

Ohoymate, happy wedding bells to you and yours.

Thank you notes, timing...

Re: Thank you notes, timing...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards