Because I love all of you, I am going to share some recent stories of misfortune that should give you all some schadenfreude.
1. The other day, I was wearing a flower in my hair. I was feeling the springtime and all that. As I'm on my way back into the office from lunch, a bee decides to pollinate the flower. Cue the hilarious (to anyone watching) sight of me flailing my arms and running across the parking lot. Bee + face area = no.
2. I work as an event coordinator. One of our sales managers contacted me, asking me to remove a coworker from an event list and replace him with someone else because "J is no longer with us." My first reaction: "oh my god J died? What happened?" No, turns out he left the company, and I'm a dumdum.
3. I have updated my signature 15 times and still cannot figure out how to add a gif.
4. Yesterday, I was too lazy to unbuckle my sandals before putting them on. As I pulled one over my heel, the elastic holding the buckle on snapped, and now I need new sandals.
I am magnificently dumb this week. Please enjoy laughing at me.