Letting the Details Go

kitty8403 · May 2014

Totally. I'm planning on asking them to do just that, especially since it's a consumption bar and we're charged by the CAN of pop. With the way FI's little brother takes a sip and forgets about it, we could easily spend more on soft drinks than booze if they bus them all. I'm actually thinking about giving him a cool cup with his name on it as his thank you gift for ushering and having him use that at the reception so that doesn't happen. You drink what's in your cup til it's gone, you don't just order a new one. Yes I KNOW that generally "your cup for the night' things are totally rude, but it would only be for him because he's 9 and a known offender when it comes to wasting things. (And being a general terror when he's over caffeinated, which is an altogether different problem. Other people worry about adults getting drunk at their weddings; I worry about this one kid getting too much Diet Coke.)

I'm not above doing that for the groom's brother, and he's a heck of a lot older than 9. Every single time he spends more than an hour or so here, I end up with a house full of "wounded soldiers."

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

flantastic said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I cared deeply about the Mass and the ceremony elements.

I gave nonefucks about many other things and just kept saying, 'WHICH.OPTION.IS.CHEAPEST?!?' And then we did that option.

This. I don't know how many hours for which we worked on readings and music and the number of different ways I arranged the "walking in to church" scenario to try to find a way that both accomplished what FI wanted (to get to see me walk in) and didn't overwhelm the liturgy with a "LOOK AT ME, THE BRIDE" feel. Still not sure if I'm there, but I'll keep working.

And then with flowers/cake/decoration/etc. I spent about an hour on each one and it was done. I also cut a lot of things with @lilybet13 's strategy.

After consultation with BMs, we settled on a dress (or rather, array of dresses in same material), and since they're scattered about the country we decided it was easiest for them each to order at a salon in their hometown. Each salon has heard this and tried to bring up the possibility of dye lot differences, and they seem to have difficulty believing that different shades of purple are approximately the last thing I would care about.

DH and I probably spent a good three hours on the readings alone, nevermind the music and the responsorials. To us, the liturgy was worth obsessing over.

I also wanted that balance of what DH wanted (me walking down the aisle), and not overwhelming the liturgy. I think we got there.

thesummersky · May 2014

I too, like many other brides that joined TK, had a 'vision' of what I wanted as far as a dress, decorations, etc - but after sticker shock and realizing what's truly important to us (our loved ones being there, hosted well, and having a good time with everyone at the reception), I gave up a lot of detail planning. I gotta say, it's pretty freeing.

sarahonlife · May 2014

I've kinda gone the opposite way. I started with "I don't care about anything, I just want to show up and get married." We were looking at a venue that would do everything for us, all we had to pick was the cake flavor, and were trying to push off the detail planning as much as we could to our moms. Then one night we BOTH had terrible nightmares about showing up at an awful wedding that was everything we didn't want. So we decided we needed to do it ourselves, lol. Neither one of us has gotten obsessive with crazy unneeded details, but we at least developed an opinion on flowers and escort cards and whatnot.

phira · May 2014

thesummersky said:

I too, like many other brides that joined TK, had a 'vision' of what I wanted as far as a dress, decorations, etc - but after sticker shock and realizing what's truly important to us (our loved ones being there, hosted well, and having a good time with everyone at the reception), I gave up a lot of detail planning. I gotta say, it's pretty freeing.

This has absolutely been my experience, too. I know a lot of people really hold onto the details (over at WW for sure, but even a lot of people here), but forgoing detail planning hasn't been disappointing at all. It's been really awesome--we don't have to think about it, and it's not going to matter.

tammym1001 · May 2014

I had a ton of little details in my wedding that most people probably wouldn't care about and when I first started planning I stressed over everything to make sure it was perfect. Somewhere along the way it stopped being fun and over the last couple of months vendors kept asking me what I wanted for this and that and I just said "I'm tired of making decisions just do what you think will be best". I got married on Saturday and it was perfect for us.

weddingmcgee · May 2014

I'm so glad someone mentioned wedding nightmares! I've had 2 major ones that had me in sweats and my heart pounding when I woke up. I realized I was stressing myself out over stupid things. Mostly paying for stupid things that we don't need and don't really want. So, I cut a bunch of stuff out and am having so much more fun in the months leading up to my wedding. I'm sure my future MIL is going to have a heart attack if I keep telling her "I don't know" or "I don't care" or telling her we've cut something "vital" out altogether.

Bridesmaids: I told them to wear a black dress that isn't floor length. And some shoes. MIL says "but what if they don't match?!" Haha- I DON'T CARE!

No aisle decorations. No big centerpieces. No bouquets. None of the little stuff that costs extra money that will wind up in the trash or never used again. Haha I'm pretty sure FMIL's head is going to explode.

Letting the Details Go

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