New kind of PPD - the do-over

adverb1129 · May 2014

Multiple times during my wedding planning last year my SIL (then FSIL) would look wistful and say, "Wow this is so exciting- I can't wait to plan my real wedding!" PPD? Not exactly- she already got married and had a wedding! With a white dress and a receptions and bridesmaids and guests and the whole shebang. I was there when she got married 5 years ago.

I guess she doesn't consider it a "real" wedding because she was pregnant at the time and the wedding was put together quickly. But it was lovely and small with mainly family invited. She's brought up the idea of redoing her wedding so many times that I don't think it's just a joke. Every time I could see her husband get a little panicky and she'd relent with, "or maybe just a vow renewal" Oy- hope this isn't a trend.

pinkcow13 · May 2014

Why do people feel the need for a do-over? Why can't they be happy with what they have - a freaking MARRIAGE. That's what the whole point is!!!!!

wrigleyville · May 2014

I almost hit the roof during an episode of SYTTD. The wife (not "bride") told the consultant that it had rained on their wedding day and she didn't like her original dress, so they were planning another wedding and she wanted to buy the dress of her dreams.

Without batting an eye, the consultant said, "Well, of COURSE! Every woman is entitled to her dream wedding! There's no reason you should give up on that dream!"

I KNOW the consultant is there to sell dresses and not side-eye or judge people, and I'd probably say the same thing if you were about to put rent money in my pocket, but I cringed because I pictured all of these entitled snowflakes using that as proof or justification to have a PPD or do-over.

adverb1129 · May 2014

Oh gosh, SYTTD can be PPD central sometimes. There have been episodes where a wife comes in to buy a dress for her "real" wedding or some where the wife buys an elaborate wedding dress for a vow renewal.

I really feel for the consultants on the show because they deal with some super entitled ladies. Just thinking about the episode where a woman and her sorority sisters came in just to goof off and waste the consultant's time gets me steamed.

monkeysip · May 2014

Good lord, who has the money or energy for a do-over wedding? I imagine maybe it'd be nice to have a vow renewal or anniversary party on my 25 year anniversary, but for now, I can't even imagine planning some big thing again!

And a do-over just because it rained and you didn't like your dress? WHAT? I could understand this mentality at least a little better from the brides who got severely ill on their wedding day, or a blizzard ruined their reception plans or something serious like that.

wrigleyville · May 2014

monkeysip said:

And a do-over just because it rained and you didn't like your dress? WHAT? I could understand this mentality at least a little better from the brides who got severely ill on their wedding day, or a blizzard ruined their reception plans or something serious like that.

Precisely. My SIL was on medication that made her really pukey on her wedding day. She made it through the ceremony but then got sick all the way to the reception and during the toast. I don't think anyone would have side-eyed it if they'd canceled the reception and held it at a later date. We were all worried about her and didn't want her to suffer through her own wedding day.

Same for a blizzard. They also had a snowstorm the day of their wedding (talk about a bad day), so half of the guests didn't make it due to canceled flights and terrible road conditions. The church lost power halfway through their ceremony, but the reception venue had a generator. Again, SIL refused to cancel and said the candlelight was more romantic anyway and would keep her from looking too pale/sick. She's a trooper.

mysticl · May 2014

I'll do you one better. I was sitting with a group of woman looking through catalogs to get ideas for bridesmaid dresses for the one woman's wedding. She was the only single one in the group. Everyone else was married. One of the married women started gushing about wedding stuff and said how she had been talking to her bff and they had both commented about the idea of getting divorced so they could each have another wedding.

Interestingly enough both couples are now divorced but there were no re-do weddings. It was just over.

APDSS22 · May 2014

monkeysip said:

Good lord, who has the money or energy for a do-over wedding? I imagine maybe it'd be nice to have a vow renewal or anniversary party on my 25 year anniversary, but for now, I can't even imagine planning some big thing again!

And a do-over just because it rained and you didn't like your dress? WHAT? I could understand this mentality at least a little better from the brides who got severely ill on their wedding day, or a blizzard ruined their reception plans or something serious like that.

My parents had a surprise blizzard for their wedding and most of my mother's family couldn't drive down to attend. Still legitimately married over 30 years later. The few who did attend had a great time with the cases of champagne and it just made the wedding that much more special. I don't think they've ever thought about a "do-over". Now if the bride or groom couldn't make it to the wedding reception, or they had a sick kid and had to run to the hospital, I could see re-scheduling that. But just re-doing your wedding because it didn't match your vision? IMO, it should be perfect because you get to marry the love of your life. The weather shouldn't factor into it.

ScoutF · May 2014

I only want to redo my wedding because it was so much fun.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

ScoutF said:
I only want to redo my wedding because it was so much fun.

Amen to this!!

SapphireCounselor · May 2014

wrigleyville said:

monkeysip said:

And a do-over just because it rained and you didn't like your dress? WHAT? I could understand this mentality at least a little better from the brides who got severely ill on their wedding day, or a blizzard ruined their reception plans or something serious like that.

Precisely. My SIL was on medication that made her really pukey on her wedding day. She made it through the ceremony but then got sick all the way to the reception and during the toast. I don't think anyone would have side-eyed it if they'd canceled the reception and held it at a later date. We were all worried about her and didn't want her to suffer through her own wedding day.

Same for a blizzard. They also had a snowstorm the day of their wedding (talk about a bad day), so half of the guests didn't make it due to canceled flights and terrible road conditions. The church lost power halfway through their ceremony, but the reception venue had a generator. Again, SIL refused to cancel and said the candlelight was more romantic anyway and would keep her from looking too pale/sick. She's a trooper.

I think your SIL is now on my list of champions. What a trooper!

lyndausvi · May 2014

I had a life-long dream of getting married on a beach. Like, I can't even remember and time where I didn't want to get married on a beach. I was even living in the islands at the time. That is how much I love the beach.

We decided to get married on a beach in NJ. A tropical storm hit on our wedding day. Beautiful the day before and after. Not on the wedding day.

Never once considered having a re-do. I had considered re-doing our pictures because I really wanted beach shots, but never actually did.

So as someone who didn't quite get the wedding she dreamed do not get re-dos at all. I still had an amazing day and something to talk about later.

tortoisebride · May 2014

During the planning process whenever I've made a mistake or changed my mind when it was too late to change something, I've found myself sometimes thinking "Well next time I'll know better! ... Oh wait, I'm not planning one of these again. Derp." And then I suddenly understand the mothers/MILs who get a little pushy during their daughters' weddings...

But I'd never insist on a redo.

Lowell14 · May 2014

O.M.G! I really hope the Wedding Industry doesn't pick up "Do-Over" Weddings like they did PPD's...And why cant brides realise that the Wedding Industry is just that - An Industry! Jack and Jills, PPD's, 2 dresses...its not to make the bride feel special but to make as much money as possible! okay, rant over...:)

wrigleyville · May 2014

Lowell14 said:

O.M.G! I really hope the Wedding Industry doesn't pick up "Do-Over" Weddings like they did PPD's...And why cant brides realise that the Wedding Industry is just that - An Industry! Jack and Jills, PPD's, 2 dresses...its not to make the bride feel special but to make as much money as possible! okay, rant over...:)

They've already featured a do-over or two on "Four Weddings". I've even seen Pinterest boards labeled "Second Wedding" (instead of "Vow Renewal" or "I Do, Take Two").

Heck, I've even seen pins that say things like, "Saving for our vow renewal next year!!!" on a board full of wedding stuff.

monkeysip · May 2014

wrigleyville said:

Lowell14 said:

O.M.G! I really hope the Wedding Industry doesn't pick up "Do-Over" Weddings like they did PPD's...And why cant brides realise that the Wedding Industry is just that - An Industry! Jack and Jills, PPD's, 2 dresses...its not to make the bride feel special but to make as much money as possible! okay, rant over...:)

They've already featured a do-over or two on "Four Weddings". I've even seen Pinterest boards labeled "Second Wedding" (instead of "Vow Renewal" or "I Do, Take Two").

Heck, I've even seen pins that say things like, "Saving for our vow renewal next year!!!" on a board full of wedding stuff.

Couldn't second wedding mean second marriage? Or were these boards clearly for people having a "do-over" wedding?

[Deleted User] · May 2014

wrigleyville said:

I almost hit the roof during an episode of SYTTD. The wife (not "bride") told the consultant that it had rained on their wedding day and she didn't like her original dress, so they were planning another wedding and she wanted to buy the dress of her dreams.

Without batting an eye, the consultant said, "Well, of COURSE! Every woman is entitled to her dream wedding! There's no reason you should give up on that dream!"

I KNOW the consultant is there to sell dresses and not side-eye or judge people, and I'd probably say the same thing if you were about to put rent money in my pocket, but I cringed because I pictured all of these entitled snowflakes using that as proof or justification to have a PPD or do-over.

Is that the one where she ended up in like a $6000 dress for the do over?? I remember that one vividly...

Bubblegum5586 · May 2014

wrigleyville said:

I almost hit the roof during an episode of SYTTD. The wife (not "bride") told the consultant that it had rained on their wedding day and she didn't like her original dress, so they were planning another wedding and she wanted to buy the dress of her dreams.

Without batting an eye, the consultant said, "Well, of COURSE! Every woman is entitled to her dream wedding! There's no reason you should give up on that dream!"

I KNOW the consultant is there to sell dresses and not side-eye or judge people, and I'd probably say the same thing if you were about to put rent money in my pocket, but I cringed because I pictured all of these entitled snowflakes using that as proof or justification to have a PPD or do-over.

I was going to post this story!

DaisyMaeMommy · May 2014

wrigleyville said:

I almost hit the roof during an episode of SYTTD. The wife (not "bride") told the consultant that it had rained on their wedding day and she didn't like her original dress, so they were planning another wedding and she wanted to buy the dress of her dreams.

Without batting an eye, the consultant said, "Well, of COURSE! Every woman is entitled to her dream wedding! There's no reason you should give up on that dream!"

I KNOW the consultant is there to sell dresses and not side-eye or judge people, and I'd probably say the same thing if you were about to put rent money in my pocket, but I cringed because I pictured all of these entitled snowflakes using that as proof or justification to have a PPD or do-over.

I remember that episode.

I side-eyed the "bride" bad, and I swear the look on that consultant's face when she said that... It was only for a split second, but she looked like she wanted to throw something.

tortoisebride · May 2014

monkeysip said:

wrigleyville said:

Lowell14 said:

O.M.G! I really hope the Wedding Industry doesn't pick up "Do-Over" Weddings like they did PPD's...And why cant brides realise that the Wedding Industry is just that - An Industry! Jack and Jills, PPD's, 2 dresses...its not to make the bride feel special but to make as much money as possible! okay, rant over...:)

They've already featured a do-over or two on "Four Weddings". I've even seen Pinterest boards labeled "Second Wedding" (instead of "Vow Renewal" or "I Do, Take Two").

Heck, I've even seen pins that say things like, "Saving for our vow renewal next year!!!" on a board full of wedding stuff.

Couldn't second wedding mean second marriage? Or were these boards clearly for people having a "do-over" wedding?

It's definitely vow renewals and do-overs, yeah. I watched a SYTTD recently that had a woman doing her SECOND vow renewal with her husband, i.e. buying her THIRD wedding dress. I get doing a vow renewal if you've been having rough times or if it's been a lot of years and you want to mark a special anniversary, but damn guys, it's not a wedding.

wrigleyville · May 2014

monkeysip said:

wrigleyville said:

Lowell14 said:

O.M.G! I really hope the Wedding Industry doesn't pick up "Do-Over" Weddings like they did PPD's...And why cant brides realise that the Wedding Industry is just that - An Industry! Jack and Jills, PPD's, 2 dresses...its not to make the bride feel special but to make as much money as possible! okay, rant over...:)

They've already featured a do-over or two on "Four Weddings". I've even seen Pinterest boards labeled "Second Wedding" (instead of "Vow Renewal" or "I Do, Take Two").

Heck, I've even seen pins that say things like, "Saving for our vow renewal next year!!!" on a board full of wedding stuff.

Couldn't second wedding mean second marriage? Or were these boards clearly for people having a "do-over" wedding?

I had hoped so, in which case it's NBD, but many of her friends' comments and the pins themselves led me to believe it's a do-over.

mellowmarshmallow · May 2014

I did not get a piece of my wedding cake besides the one bite that we fed each other at the reception. I think I need a re-do wedding complete with a re-do cake. This time I want a piece of each tier with the different flavors. Now I just need to go dress shopping and book a venue...

short+sassy · May 2014

I posted this on another thread (forget which one), but I had a former co-worker who was the most "look at me, look at me" person I have ever met. Not exaggerating. She had a huge wedding, the whole nine yards the first time around. That she considered one of the best days of her life, nothing went wrong. I didn't know her then.

Fast forward about seven years. She decides that her and her hubby are going to have a vow renewal for their 8th anniversary. Not even 10. Eight. Although she technically called it a vow renewal, it was a big, "look at me AGAIN" re-do wedding. She was going to have attendants, a poufy white wedding dress, a huge fancy reception.

I mean, I guess she and her husband can do what they want with their time and money. But I side-eyed that kind of AWishness hard. Luckily, I had long since moved on to another job by the time she would have had this gala.

Marzipan13 · May 2014

bubblegum1309 said:

wrigleyville said:

I almost hit the roof during an episode of SYTTD. The wife (not "bride") told the consultant that it had rained on their wedding day and she didn't like her original dress, so they were planning another wedding and she wanted to buy the dress of her dreams.

Without batting an eye, the consultant said, "Well, of COURSE! Every woman is entitled to her dream wedding! There's no reason you should give up on that dream!"

I KNOW the consultant is there to sell dresses and not side-eye or judge people, and I'd probably say the same thing if you were about to put rent money in my pocket, but I cringed because I pictured all of these entitled snowflakes using that as proof or justification to have a PPD or do-over.

I was going to post this story!

Ugh, I remember this. The strength it takes to not slap a person upside the head...

As much as I'm against do-overs, there was another episode of some-other-wedding-show where the married couple wanted to do their reception over again, because the groom's appendix ruptured the day of the wedding! He got through the vows, but was taken away by an ambulance right afterwards... I think they ended up treating their "do-over" reception as a vow renewal & party, as it was 15+ years after their wedding day.

wrigleyville · May 2014

Marzipan13 said:

As much as I'm against do-overs, there was another episode of some-other-wedding-show where the married couple wanted to do their reception over again, because the groom's appendix ruptured the day of the wedding! He got through the vows, but was taken away by an ambulance right afterwards... I think they ended up treating their "do-over" reception as a vow renewal & party, as it was 15+ years after their wedding day.

See, now that I could understand, especially since they did it as a vow renewal.

But even if they had the reception a few weeks later, I could still get behind that. It's not like they're doing a fake wedding ceremony or anything like that; they're just having a party, which is what the reception is. If someone gets taken away in an ambulance after being pronounced man and wife, I'm pretty much expecting them to cancel the reception and host it at a later date (or not at all, depending on their wishes).

Marzipan13 · May 2014

wrigleyville said:

Marzipan13 said:

As much as I'm against do-overs, there was another episode of some-other-wedding-show where the married couple wanted to do their reception over again, because the groom's appendix ruptured the day of the wedding! He got through the vows, but was taken away by an ambulance right afterwards... I think they ended up treating their "do-over" reception as a vow renewal & party, as it was 15+ years after their wedding day.

See, now that I could understand, especially since they did it as a vow renewal.

But even if they had the reception a few weeks later, I could still get behind that. It's not like they're doing a fake wedding ceremony or anything like that; they're just having a party, which is what the reception is. If someone gets taken away in an ambulance after being pronounced man and wife, I'm pretty much expecting them to cancel the reception and host it at a later date (or not at all, depending on their wishes).

Agreed - I thought it was really sweet that the wife wanted to have a do-over reception (and vow renewal) so that her husband could experience what he had unfortunately missed the first time.

thisismynickname2 · May 2014

I have to add a SYTTD PPD. Just saw this ep the other day. Turkish bride/wife had a small wedding because they thought her mother would die. Well, the mother recovered, and they wanted to have a bigger wedding, so they did. So not only did the mother witness the whole vow-thing twice (along with however many people from the first one, the real wedding), I have no idea how the bride/wife could say, "It was the happiest day of my life!!" So.... the happiest day of your life wasn't the day you actually married your husband, it was the day you put on a tacky show with fireworks and a Pnina dress? Color me confused!

VulgarGirl · May 2014

How many do-overs do you get to make sure you get everything exactly right so that it looks like TV?

PrincessOfHavoc · May 2014

Hrm, I'm starting with 12. Will probably increase in number. Ask the Doctor for final counts.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

I loved, loved, LOVED planning my wedding, and I loved getting married, but I'll be damned if I'm doing it again.

I have friends who throw kick-ass anniversary parties every year. There's no wedding trappings, they just have a ginormous backyard party with booze and food and cake. It's awesome. I love it.

FiancB · May 2014

monkeysip said:

Good lord, who has the money or energy for a do-over wedding?

THIS. I told FI that this better work out because I am never doing this crap again!

New kind of PPD - the do-over

Re: New kind of PPD - the do-over

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