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Awful Cosmo Article: "we had a secret marriage"

mrscatymrscaty member
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edited May 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/secret-life-of-marrieds-kumail-emily

I can't even. So they got secretly married then had TWO (2!!!!) weddings. What. The. Fuck.
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Re: Awful Cosmo Article: "we had a secret marriage"

  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 member
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    so flipping disgusting 
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  • RosebubblyRosebubbly member
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    So much weirdness here. But one thing that stuck out is that his family knew. Why years later would they pretend to get married for their friends?!
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
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    I stopped taking Cosmo seriously years ago.
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • mrscatymrscaty member
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    Rosebubbly said:

    So much weirdness here. But one thing that stuck out is that his family knew. Why years later would they pretend to get married for their friends?!

    EXACTLY!!

    Also, my FH and I read Cosmo for the entertainment factor. I don't EVER take them seriously.
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  • sweetwisconsinsweetwisconsin member
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    Is it me or is this article all over the place? First they are talking about the secret marriage, which they never really answered why they kept it a secret from their friends. Then they started talking about working together without a transition into that. My brain hurts after trying to digest that. I also hate the part where they talk about how they don't worry about fights because they are married...like that is a cop-out.
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  • Grabows14Grabows14 member
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    On reddit there is a subreddit called r/shitcosmosays for anyone interested in a laugh.
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  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
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    God Cosmo sucks butts.
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  • MamaAlly89MamaAlly89 member
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    What I wanna know is how exactly this idea came into play. How did that conversation go? If my FI said hey lets get married but not tell anyone, I might be seriously offended!

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  • mrscatymrscaty member
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    schramm2407 said:

    What I wanna know is how exactly this idea came into play. How did that conversation go? If my FI said hey lets get married but not tell anyone, I might be seriously offended!

    That's the thing. The title insinuates that they tell you why it was a secret but then the couple was just like " I don't know it just kind of happened" Not introducing someone as your husband/wife doesn't just happen. These people are idiots.
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  • radiateinradiatein member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    From what I read this was their reason to keep it secret.

    Emily:     I knew that everybody would be like, "You guys just got married because she was sick and almost died."

    The pointed way to explain it would be they didn't want to be judged.
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  • kitsunegari89kitsunegari89 member
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    Their interview was gibberish. They never answered any of the questions directly. They're selfish, dishonest and weird.
    My colors are "blood of my enemies" and "rage".

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  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
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    Grabows14 said:
    On reddit there is a subreddit called r/shitcosmosays for anyone interested in a laugh.
    Thank you so much.  I needed to waste more time at work.  Reading a bunch of stuff that is largely NSFW. 

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    So why did you not tell your new friends in New York that you were married?

    Oh it just got away from us.

    Um...what?

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  • gladyscfgladyscf member
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    It's all going to be ok. They have "butt sex Sunday's!"
    *msstaticfancypants*
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  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
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    Hey! It's the guy from Silicon Valley! Just started watching that show... 
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
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    Not that the article made any ounce of sense, but there are some legitimate reasons why one may marry and not tell anyone until after the fact. It happens all of the time. I think my dad didn't find out we were married until a month after it happened. But, it certainly wasn't months or years and it certainly wasn't so non-chalant as "it just got away from us." it was more like "we didn't want any of your insignificant, immature drama to cause problems where they aren't wanted."

     







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  • lc07lc07 member
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    Jells2dot0 said:
    Not that the article made any ounce of sense, but there are some legitimate reasons why one may marry and not tell anyone until after the fact. It happens all of the time. I think my dad didn't find out we were married until a month after it happened. But, it certainly wasn't months or years and it certainly wasn't so non-chalant as "it just got away from us." it was more like "we didn't want any of your insignificant, immature drama to cause problems where they aren't wanted."


    Yea, but you didn't re-do a wedding in front of the people you never told. That's what's weird.
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
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    lc07 said:


    Jells2dot0 said:

    Not that the article made any ounce of sense, but there are some legitimate reasons why one may marry and not tell anyone until after the fact. It happens all of the time. I think my dad didn't find out we were married until a month after it happened. But, it certainly wasn't months or years and it certainly wasn't so non-chalant as "it just got away from us." it was more like "we didn't want any of your insignificant, immature drama to cause problems where they aren't wanted."



    Yea, but you didn't re-do a wedding in front of the people you never told. That's what's weird.


    VERY true. I was just reading some of the responses where pps pointed out keeping the secret was strange, not the secret plus the PPD :)

     







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  • lc07lc07 member
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    Jells2dot0 said:
    Jells2dot0 said:
    Not that the article made any ounce of sense, but there are some legitimate reasons why one may marry and not tell anyone until after the fact. It happens all of the time. I think my dad didn't find out we were married until a month after it happened. But, it certainly wasn't months or years and it certainly wasn't so non-chalant as "it just got away from us." it was more like "we didn't want any of your insignificant, immature drama to cause problems where they aren't wanted."


    Yea, but you didn't re-do a wedding in front of the people you never told. That's what's weird.
    VERY true. I was just reading some of the responses where pps pointed out keeping the secret was strange, not the secret plus the PPD :)
    Agreed! The whole article was way off.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
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    That interview was all over the place. And it had zero to do with their headline "Why we kept our marriage a secret for years." When asked, he actually answers, "It'll be real quick: " Ummm... not too quick otherwise the interview will be over, right? Wrong.
    I absolutely got the impression that they had no desire to actually talk about their marriage and how and why they kept it a secret.
    I'm guessing it was just a shot at publicizing his new show?
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  • melbensomelbenso member
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    mrsstatic2b said:
    It's all going to be ok. They have "butt sex Sunday's!"
    "Butt Stuff Sundays" - because you can talk about scheduling anal sex with your spouse once a week in a nationally published magazine, but saying the word "sex" is out of the question.

    That added a whole extra level of WTF to this article.  A friend of mine from college is an editor there.  I'm going to have to ask her what the hell is up with this.
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  • beetherybeethery member
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    Our marriage was a secret, and we'll share another secret with you: we are dumb as shit!

    also @mrsstatic2b I'm fucking crying at butt sex sundays, I'm dying. forever!!!!
    --

    I'm the fuck     out.

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  • gladyscfgladyscf member
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    melbenso said:
    mrsstatic2b said:
    It's all going to be ok. They have "butt sex Sunday's!"
    "Butt Stuff Sundays" - because you can talk about scheduling anal sex with your spouse once a week in a nationally published magazine, but saying the word "sex" is out of the question.

    That added a whole extra level of WTF to this article.  A friend of mine from college is an editor there.  I'm going to have to ask her what the hell is up with this.
    It's also the whole, "we couldn't tell our friends we were married," but we can tell the nation of Cosmo readers what we do in private on Sundays. 

    Gee...I sure hope they do this in private now that I've said that!
    *msstaticfancypants*
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  • SP29SP29 member
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    That article was all kinds of weird...

    Getting married to your gf because she is potentially terminally ill, I think that's romantic and nothing to be ashamed of. I suppose *I'm* not in their position, but I think if you make an adult decision, own it. They could've had a small ceremony then, and I am sure it would have been the most beautiful thing ever!

    Having the big wedding after.... totally a PPD, BUT, if they were my friends, and I KNEW they got married in a hospital, and then later his family wanted to throw them a big wedding now that she is well... Sure, they could just have a big reception, no re-enactment of the ceremony, but I wouldn't hold it against them and happily go... if it wasn't a lie. 

    But the whole moving to NY and just "letting it slip" to your friends that you aren't married?!?! WTF?!?! Why wouldn't you introduce someone as your husband/wife? THEN have ANOTHER fake wedding??? Makes no sense. Hella expensive too! 

    Also, I'm not in their shoes, and I'm not from the culture, so maybe I just really don't understand, but why should a grown man be so afraid to tell his parents that he's choosing to marry a woman he loves. Again, you're an adult, make a decision and own it.

    That article was all over the place. 
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  • crunchymamaof2 crunchymamaof2 member
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    In one if the brides issues, there was an insane article about spending your 1st year as newlyweds secretly. Because it allows you to embrace the first year, which is the hardest, without all the pressure from outsiders. Or some bullshit like that. Plus the ppd of course. It was vomit inducing. But I guess the secret life of marriage and butt sex is the new cool thing.

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

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  • OnceUponAVineOnceUponAVine member
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    I actually had a coworker who had been married for 5 years without either of their families knowing because neither family "supported" their relationship. WTF is wrong with people?
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