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Honorary Briday Party

jessica11669jessica11669 member
5 Love Its First Comment
edited May 2014 in Wedding Party
So my FI and I decided when we got engaged not to have any bridesmaids or groomsman at the wedding, First of all he has no one to be a groomsman and didn't want to look like odd man out being only person on his side.  I am perfectly fine with this arrangement, all i asked was for my father to walk me down aisle.  
I still wanted to honor my best friend and two sisters who are going out of there way to come to destination wedding in Las Vegas,  So i asked them to be my honorary  bridesmaids  and MOH.  I already told them they could wear whatever they wanted to wedding, and i told them about not standing up with us during the ceremony.  I certainly do not expect them to throw me a Bridal shower or Bachelorette party, there already spending money to attend wedding.  I just wanted them to know I appreciate them being in my life.  Is this odd, should I have done this in a different way.  

Also my MOH/best friend is doing all of our hair/makeup, she volunteered herself, shes super excited about wedding, helping plan and decorate.  And I need at least couple people to get me into my dress, it's extremely puffy and lots of buttons.  We had already planned to get ready together before wedding.
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Re: Honorary Briday Party

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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    jessica11669 said:
    So my FI and I decided when we got engaged not to have any bridesmaids or groomsman at the wedding, First of all he has no one to be a groomsman and didn't want to look like odd man out being only person on his side.  I am perfectly fine with this arrangement, all i asked was for my father to walk me down aisle.  
    I still wanted to honor my best friend and two sisters who are going out of there way to come to destination wedding in Las Vegas,  So i asked them to be my honorary  bridesmaids  and MOH.  I already told them they could wear whatever they wanted to wedding, and i told them about not standing up with us during the ceremony.  I certainly do not expect them to throw me a Bridal shower or Bachelorette party, there already spending money to attend wedding.  I just wanted them to know I appreciate them being in my life.  Is this odd, should I have done this in a different way.  

    Yes, it is odd. There are no honorary wedding parties. People either ARE or are NOT in a wedding party.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    RosebubblyRosebubbly member
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    You can still have the title " bridesmaid" just not have them stand up with you and wear matching dresses, rather than honorary bridesmaid. Either way, I don't find it odd. But you've already done it, so no point worrying about it. :-)
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    manateehuggermanateehugger member
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    I think it's odd you gave them a fake title when you aren't having bridesmaids, but it's already done. 

    I wouldn't list them as "honorary bridesmaids" in your program or anything, however. 
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    jneen101jneen101 member
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    If they are wearing whatever they want and not standing up at the ceremony, they seem like just regular guests to me. 
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    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    I do think it's odd. I'm sure your best friend and your sisters know they are important to you, so I don't understand giving them a title that essentially means nothing. 
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    phiraphira member
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    So, it sounds like what you actually want is to honor people without having them be in the wedding party (in this case, because there is no wedding party).

    You could ask people to do readings during the ceremony, or you could ask them to give a toast during the reception (in your case, maybe have your sisters each do a short reading during the ceremony and have your best friend give a toast).

    The thing is, asking someone to be in the wedding party is an honor, but the title "bridesmaid" doesn't mean anything on its own. You're giving them the title to honor them, but that's like if I told my friend she could be an honorary ceremony reader.

    The only time I'm on board with honorary wedding party members is when someone in the wedding party can no longer attend the wedding (like, due date is the same day as the destination wedding; after being asked to be in the wedding party, a person finds out they'll be deployed; etc).
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    erinlin25erinlin25 member
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    they don't need an honorary title. You do not have a wedding party, that is fine! They will be guests at your wedding. And of course you can all get ready together!  They do not have to be "bridesmaids" to get you dressed and ready
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    bananasplit472001bananasplit472001 member
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    It'd very odd.  If they are coming to your wedding and standing up with you they are bridesmaids.  My sister tried to do all this honorary stuff with her destination wedding and let me tell you it did not go over well.  The girls were jealous and were uninterested in attending bridal showers and bachelorrette parties because they were not actually asked to be in the wedding party but instead asked to buy a dress and wear it to a PPD.
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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    Honorary bridesmaid means one of your bridesmaids died, got deployed, or is in the hospital.  It doesn't mean someone who you decided not to ask to be a bridesmaid.

    If you don't want to have a WP, that's fine.  But giving them this title just rubs it in that you didn't want to ask them.  Either they are bridesmaids or they are guests.  It has nothing to do with makeup and showers.  Asking someone to be a bridesmaid is about honoring your relationship.
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    lreiclreic member
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    I do not think this is weird. Those three women will understand why you and your fiance are not having the traditional wedding party, and respect that. They should be happy to know that if it was possible for you to have the traditional wedding party that they would be a part of it, no questions. Its a win-win. They your friends know they are important, and you are respecting your fiance's decision too. 

    Like you said, they'd be there helping you get ready anyway, and be included in what happens. It is nice to let them know you appreciate their friendship. 
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