Proud of FI, but still pissed off

loveislouder · May 2014

I need to make a small rant. And I'm pretty sure this is on the wrong board but I'm too pissed off to care.

I'm a... bigger girl. And by bigger, I mean like, I'm a size 24/26 street size. FI and I haven't decided if we're having children yet, so when people ask, we just say we haven't decided.

One of FI's friends asked the question, FI answered and friend responded with "Dude, she's fat. She's infertile anyway, stop lying about trying to decide."

EXCUSE ME. Just because I'm fat does NOT mean I'm infertile you little fucker.

My FI fired back some obscenities and got really upset.

I was VERY proud of my FI for defending me. But like, why the EFF would you assume because we said we weren't sure that I was infertile?

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

Because people are assholes.

I'm sorry your FI's friend is an asshole, but I'm VERY happy he defended you.

Also, if this friend is on the invite list, he needs to be axed.

KatieinBkln · May 2014

Um, WHUT. As I am not a fertility doctor (or any kind of doctor) I can't say whether size ever has any bearing on fertility, but if it did...isn't it being TOO THIN that is usually the culprit? (Because fat cells have estrogen in them, sometimes to the point where not having any can be a tipping point when it comes to fertility. Not a doctor, but definitely a science dork). In any case, I am sorry that happened to you. Also: this "friend" is now an ex-friend, right?

KGold80 · May 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Because people are assholes.

I'm sorry your FI's friend is an asshole, but I'm VERY happy he defended you.

Also, if this friend is on the invite list, he needs to be axed.

THIS. What an asshole.

I'm so sorry this happened.

jdluvr06 · May 2014

What an assface. Good for your FI for standing up for you but I hope that "friend" is now an ex-friend.

grumbledore · May 2014

What the actual fuck? Good for your FI.

AprilH81 · May 2014

KatieinBkln said:

Um, WHUT. As I am not a fertility doctor (or any kind of doctor) I can't say whether size ever has any bearing on fertility, but if it did...isn't it being TOO THIN that is usually the culprit? (Because fat cells have estrogen in them, sometimes to the point where not having any can be a tipping point when it comes to fertility. Not a doctor, but definitely a science dork). In any case, I am sorry that happened to you. Also: this "friend" is now an ex-friend, right?

I'm not a doctor either, but being too large or too small can both affect fertility. Being overweight affects your hormones which can make it more difficult to conceive and/or carry a child to term.

OP your FI's friend is an asshole.

SapphireCounselor · May 2014

What an asshole!!! X infinity! Obviously if he was invited he no longer should be. That friendship is over for good.

ETA: As someone who is actually infertile I want to kick this friend in the balls - twice. Once for you and once for me.

phira · May 2014

CMGragain · May 2014

OP, I am near your size, and I've had a very successful marriage. I know lots of skinny people who look like fashion models, but can't get it together with their marriage. Your size has nothing to do with your future happiness. Just pay attention to your health so that you can have a long and happy life! Your FI sounds like a jewel! His ex-friend is an ass.

wandajune6 · May 2014

Your FI sounds like a great guy. His friend sounds like a loser. Disinvite!

And HUG!

smalfrie19 · May 2014

his friend is a fuck weasel..k? your fi is a keeper...lock it down

sophhabobopha · May 2014

JMalettas · May 2014

I can't believe anyone would say this. Clearly this person is undereducated, not to mention rude. I truly truly hope, that if he was on your invite list, you've removed him. I'm glad your FI said something, & hopefully put the guy in his place!

*J

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

loveislouder · May 2014

Thanks everyone!! Sorry if my language offended anyone. I tend to swear like a sailor when I'm upset. He's definitely no longer invited, and if he shows up I will cut his penis to a stump, so that it's still there but so small he gets made fun of. Stupid asshole.

Cookie Pusher · May 2014

I really can't believe someone would say something so ignorant. Really?

LizM61409 · May 2014

I'm an ob/gyn- yes, being overweight/obese means you may be more likely to be infertile, but that is FAR from "oh she must be infertile". The lady with a BMI of 73 whose c-section I did last summer would beg to differ on that statement.

Not to mention that it's none of that a**hole's business!!

CMGragain · May 2014

I remember a wedding back in the 1970s. We were at a table with a groomsman and his Barbie doll wife. The guy kept making snarky comments about the bride's weight and looks. I told him to shut up. Guess what? He's divorced, and the wedding couple are still happily married, and have grandchildren!

Aray82 · May 2014

Far as I can tell, there's no official "Nominations for AssHat of the Year Award" board, so this is as good a place as any! And yeah, he definitely needs to be struck from the invite list and from your lives.

LabLove86 · May 2014

Seriously - I think its shit-head week. I am a street size 18 and had a not-quite-so-similar situation I posted about over on the plus-sized board:

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1021823/ignorant-co-worker-vent#latest

I'm sorry that guy was a dick, but I'm really glad fi stood up for you.

)

Rebl90 · May 2014

My jaw actually dropped when I read your post OP, so sorry you were subject to that! Your FI sounds amazing and true marriage material -- I hope you two have a beautiful life together!

KytchynWitche · May 2014

People make me sick. But your FI is seriously a keeper. Go you, and go FI!

ElcaB · May 2014

I can't believe anyone would actually think it's acceptable to say that.

FI made a good move when he fired back. I hope he made the best move and ended the friendship over it, too. Anyone who speaks that way about a "friend's" fiance isn't much of a friend at all.

cupcait927 · May 2014

CMGragain said:

I remember a wedding back in the 1970s. We were at a table with a groomsman and his Barbie doll wife. The guy kept making snarky comments about the bride's weight and looks. I told him to shut up. Guess what? He's divorced, and the wedding couple are still happily married, and have grandchildren!

Now, I certainly agree that making disparaging comments about a woman being overweight is not okay but let's not go in the other direction either. Skinny women shouldn't be insulted using their weight/figure either.

Proud of FI, but still pissed off

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