Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Snarky Brides
CarolinaKC
member
Honeymoon registries
I've seen a lot of people seriously ragging on honeymoon registries, and the common thinking seems to be that they are extremely tacky and rude. I can't understand why. What difference does it make if they register for a set of wine glasses or a bath mat or tickets to a play or scuba diving lessons? I get that some registries are just general cash registries, which I agree is going too far, but if you're asking for events or activities that the couple will enjoy together, what's wrong with that? In a lot of cases I'd rather buy people a life experience that I know they will remember and appreciate than flood them with more material possessions.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Honeymoon registries
Most honeymoon registries do not give the couple the experiences listed, but a check, minus the site's fees for "hosting" this registry. Most people know cash/checks are good to give for wedding gifts. It's one size fits all so there's no need to register for specific amounts of money. If the registry does run through a travel agent or some such and actually will book the experience, a honeymoon is a vacation, usually booked in advance of the wedding by the wedding couple. It is not necessary to make a marriage legal or help build the home of the couple.
If a wedding guest buys you towels off your traditional registry, you get towels in the color you would like to match your color scheme to use in your home for as long as they last. A registry traditionally helps a couple build their new home, paying for a dolphin ride on your honeymoon doesn't really help you build a home together.
I'm the fuck out.
It's the same thing.
Thanks for these responses, they have definitely made me think. I think the reason I like the idea is because I have a lot of anti-materialism people in my family who have expressed preference for the practice of spending money on experiences rather than stuff. But they also find the idea of just cutting a check impersonal. But it's true that the registry doesn't guarantee that the money will be used on that. If guests have actively expressed a preference for this type of registry, is it still rude to have one? I would never expect someone to get me a present at all, but people I know seemed enthusiastic about the idea.
For those who pointed out that this is well-trodden territory, sorry! This is literally the first time I've used a forum for anything at all. I pretty much just use TK to look at pictures and for the checklists.
If people really want to give you excursions, etc--you can always hook them up with your travel agent. Agents are more than happy to book sailboat trips, scuba diving adventures, and other fun things like that. Then they really can get you an experience, without anybody taking a cut. However, only provide this information if someone really presses. Otherwise, just don't register and people will get the hint that you don't need things.
FWIW, my mother, who is really pretty lax about a lot of etiquette things and wedding trappings, was absolutely horrified at the idea of anyone having a honeymoon registry.
@Inkdancer gave a great suggestion at how to get around creating a honeymoon registry. If someone really wants to give you an experience as a gift, by going through a travel agent it means you'll actually get the experience, not just a check to use on whatever you want, minus fees.
FI's family likes to buy us "experiences" when we go on vacation...they will do things like research local restaurants and buy us gift cards to use while we're there. So, on my wedding website, i put our basic itinerary on the Honeymoon page, including the resorts. That way, if someone came up with the idea of getting us a honeymoon experience all on their own, they would have the ability to do that for us, without us asking for it (or for the money to do it). We planned a honeymoon that we could easily afford right now and do not need any assistance with. But we wouldn't turn down a free meal if someone got that for us!
Whenever i see a honeymoon registry, i just assume that the couple can't pay for the vacation on their own and is asking their guests to fund it because they think they're entitled to it. I know that's not always the case...but if it looks like a cash grab and it sounds like a cash grab.........