Well this will probably cause a lot of consternation...

emmyg65 · May 2014

The roles of the wedding party, according to The Knot:

http://wedding.theknot.com/groom-groomsmen/groomsmen-tips/articles/wedding-party-glossary.aspx?cm_mmc=twitter-_-may2014-_-evergreen-_-glossaryofwhoswho

ladyamanuet · May 2014

And then we have to deal with all the speshul snowflakes who think their WP is their own personal slave labor force.... ::sigh::

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

Oh, dear God in heaven.

KatieinBkln · May 2014

I care for neither the content nor the tone here. You can't just be all, "you're my slave, gurrrrlfriend!" and think that that makes it okay.

VulgarGirl · May 2014

I texted my mom to let her know she needed to act as my wedding planner and cheerleader and my dad to let him know he was supposed to be paying for most of this. I'll let you all know how this pans out.

And look, no mention of same sex couples getting married, mix gendered wedding parties, either the bride(s) or groom(s) not having one/both parents, no step-parents, The Knot: Perfect for planning heteronormative weddings taking place in 1955!

Update: Mom texted back "I'll be happy to drive you to the courthouse. Worked twice for me", love my mom.

Maggie0829 · May 2014

Couldn't even get past the first sentence under the "Best Man." This is not Downton Abbey with Lords and Earls and Dukes and what not with hired servants, this is a fucking wedding with your nearest and dearest. Why do people think that since they are getting married they turn instantly into "royalty" where everyone around them must do as they wish and be at their beck and call?

KatieinBkln · May 2014

Maggie0829 said:

Couldn't even get past the first sentence under the "Best Man." This is not Downton Abbey with Lords and Earls and Dukes and what not with hired servants, this is a fucking wedding with your nearest and dearest. Why do people think that since they are getting married they turn instantly into "royalty" where everyone around them must do as they wish and be at their beck and call?

I'm not sure about other countries, but I sometimes think that as Americans, we glom onto certain notions of royalty out of some kind of weird, misguided curiosity or a sense that we missed out. Like, when we teach our little girls to obsess over princesses or when we see the wedding industry encouraging us to be "queen for a day" when we get married, it's this weird combination of jealousy (why don't WE get royals?) and democracy (EVERYONE is a princess, yay!). Either way, it grosses me out. I'm happy to be a non-royal, never-could-be-royal-because-democracy American.

KeptInStitches · May 2014

My MOH has been fantastic emotional support right now. Because my grandpa died this week, which has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with my wedding and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that she's my friend. I need no emotional support for my wedding. I need a shoulder for the loss of my grandpa.

Cookie Pusher · May 2014

No one in my wedding is doing what the list says they're supposed to be doing. DO I GET A DO-OVER???

ladyamanuet · May 2014

MagicInk said:

I texted my mom to let her know she needed to act as my wedding planner and cheerleader and my dad to let him know he was supposed to be paying for most of this. I'll let you all know how this pans out.

And look, no mention of same sex couples getting married, mix gendered wedding parties, either the bride(s) or groom(s) not having one/both parents, no step-parents, The Knot: Perfect for planning heteronormative weddings taking place in 1955!

Update: Mom texted back "I'll be happy to drive you to the courthouse. Worked twice for me", love my mom.

First two bolded: Oh I can just see the reactions from my group now! My mother doesn't understand why I (or anyone) wants to get married. So I don't think she'd be the best planner

And if I sent my dad a bill for a wedding he'd laugh right in my face. A lot. When we officially start planning I have no doubt he will offer assistance in some area. But if I just said "so dad, pay for this" he'd fall off his chair laughing.

3rd bolded - it bugs the ever living crap out of me. Not only that they say the WP should be slaves grateful for the chance to bust their asses for the so-very-special couple, but they they also need to be confined to such rigid gender roles.... ugh

sarawifenow · May 2014

I literally snorted when I read this and spewed green tea all over my computer. I have an appointment in 5 minutes...oh dear.

laurenstlouis · May 2014

I can't with this, it's too funny. I had no idea that the Father of the Groom is supposed to call my dad every now and then to offer "moral support." I'll be sure to pass along that super important tidbit of information straight away so that they can get busy with their phone calls. I would hate for my dad to feel all alone and without any sort of moral support from FI's dad. [insert eye roll here.]

SmileDamnit · May 2014

Well fuck a duck. Let's see…

- My Pops is a piss poor shoe salesman who has absolutely zero directional acumen & would sooner take a swim in the lake (he can't swim, btw) than give a toast.

- FI's BM is his 15-year-old son who can't yet drive & only occasionally remembers to brush his own hair.

- My sister is my MOH, who - bless her heart - will likely be an emotional basket case and therefore unable to render me the "emotional support" I'll supposed be in need of.

…and we have absolutely no other "attendants to speak of. Who on earth will handle all of my oh-so-demanding princess demands?? There goes my "vision". Best get on planning the do-over, stat.

VulgarGirl · May 2014

Dad texted back: Remember when you decided to move out when you were 17 and your mom told you that moving out on your own meant you were a grown up and had to pay your own way? Same thing now.

And then: And I'm just one of the fathers of one of the brides! Have So text her dads! They could split it!

So I guess that's a no. And yes, my dad calls FI So and I'm Fi and when we were together we're either FiSo or SoFi. He's given us gifts that say To: SoFi.

grumbledore · May 2014

Oh dear god why. "Bridesmaids Trustworthy gal pals and female family members who form the bride's entourage (and ostensibly work well together). They are a support team for the maid of honor, helping with pre-wedding tasks when asked (addressing invites, making bridal shower favors, planning the bachelorette party, and more). Bridesmaids are often expected to hit the dance floor running and play surrogate hostesses to guests."

grumbledore · May 2014

MagicInk said:

I texted my mom to let her know she needed to act as my wedding planner and cheerleader and my dad to let him know he was supposed to be paying for most of this. I'll let you all know how this pans out.

And look, no mention of same sex couples getting married, mix gendered wedding parties, either the bride(s) or groom(s) not having one/both parents, no step-parents, The Knot: Perfect for planning heteronormative weddings taking place in 1955!

Update: Mom texted back "I'll be happy to drive you to the courthouse. Worked twice for me", love my mom.

Your mom is my current hero.

VulgarGirl · May 2014

grumbledore said:

MagicInk said:

I texted my mom to let her know she needed to act as my wedding planner and cheerleader and my dad to let him know he was supposed to be paying for most of this. I'll let you all know how this pans out.

And look, no mention of same sex couples getting married, mix gendered wedding parties, either the bride(s) or groom(s) not having one/both parents, no step-parents, The Knot: Perfect for planning heteronormative weddings taking place in 1955!

Update: Mom texted back "I'll be happy to drive you to the courthouse. Worked twice for me", love my mom.

Your mom is my current hero.

She's a pretty cool chick.

beethery · May 2014

Lordy.

The two Best Men are FBIL and FI's BFF. They both wear whatever smells clean and doesn't have visible vehicle grime on it. FI is the same way. I helped him pick the two suits he owns. Neither of the guys are big into dancing, but can be coerced when inebriated. BFF has to give a speech, it will probably be his last words because his GF is going to murder him for not proposing to her/marrying her before FI and I got married. FBIL has to give a speech because FI had to give a speech (their mom lied to FI and said he had to, turns out FBIL didn't care either way). FI decided that.

Also, paying the officiant? What???? I'm pretty sure FI and I will either pay the officiant ahead of time or he'll have a check or cash in his wallet.

Maid and Matron of Honor are my two BFFs. I am paying Maid of Honor to do hair and makeup because she is a pro. That is the only expectation I have of her outside of showing up on time and wearing the dress. Matron of Honor has no responsibilities other than showing up and wearing the dress. Every now and then if they ask me how wedding idea gathering is going, we talk about wedding stuff. That's it.

MOB: I don't want her to plan our wedding because it will turn into a caravan shitshow of getting her craptastic mother and brothers out to this area, and I'd rather be set on fire and put out with piss than have to be in the same fucking time zone. If she volunteers to help with anything, I would be happy to accept. She did not have a big fancy wedding when she married my dad, and it's too soon to tell if she's going to have any episodes about our wedding.

FOB: If he offered to pay for the wedding and made it super clear that my mom isn't going to domineer wedding planning, I would graciously accept and have no issue incorporating anything he wants to do because it's his money. If he wants to do anything, I would be happy to accept, but it's not really necessary.

FMIL/FFIL: FFIL will probably invite everyone he knows to the bachelor party like he did for FBIL's. That's about it. FMIL will probably be upset that I don't plan to have a registry or want a shower. I think she is going to be annoyed that FI doesn't want to do a MOG/Groom dance.

huskypuppy14 · May 2014

huskypuppy14 · May 2014

Seriously, whoever writes these things, must do it to be ridiculous.

I knew from the first sentence: "Who knew planning a wedding would be akin to staging a major Broadway production?" that it was going to be a doozy.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

I do wish, as Americans, we could get behind the British traditions of hats and fascinators. They're fabulous and I want them to be sartorially normal and acceptable.

MW5280 · May 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I do wish, as Americans, we could get behind the British traditions of hats and fascinators. They're fabulous and I want them to be sartorially normal and acceptable.

Yes!

So much yes.

I should've existed in the 50s when hats were cool...

ShadeofGreen816 · May 2014

Ugh! I about ralphed all over my keyboard after reading the MOH:

She also should help the bride get dressed, taking care to frequently remind her that she looks beautiful.

SERIOUSLY?!?! EEeekkkkkk…. I don't want anyone telling me I look beautiful unless they think it's true! My MOH is the type I can trust to keep me from looking hideous by telling me so in time!

coffeekay · May 2014

I just can't fathom needing this much from friends and family. Getting married isn't brain surgery.

lavenderfields13 · May 2014

wtf. this is why so many people think their WP members are their slaves. and what is with the rigid age requirements for the flower girl and ring bearers? god forbid your ring bearer is 3 or 9 instead age 4-8

Teddy917 · May 2014

Here's how my WP was: MOG/FOG are both dead so no support for my dad, rehearsal dinner, or mother/son dance.
MOB/FOB were being difficult and didn't even show up. They did give us money for the wedding since they were saving for it since I was born. But no father/daughter dance, airport duty, or directions given.
MOH/BM were my now BIL and SIL. MOH helped plan the wedding with me, was my support system and did invitations, food, and misc decorations. BIL was support system to my now husband and chauffeur to get the wedding present that my honey got me. He also acted as a day of coordinator.

No FG/RB. Unless you count my husband's cousin's dog who had a bow tie on. But he didn't walk down an aisle and certainly didn't carry rings (even fakes).

That was it.

sophhabobopha · May 2014

Simply Fated · May 2014

emmyg65 said:

The roles of the wedding party, according to The Knot:

http://wedding.theknot.com/groom-groomsmen/groomsmen-tips/articles/wedding-party-glossary.aspx?cm_mmc=twitter-_-may2014-_-evergreen-_-glossaryofwhoswho

lol hasn't this been posted a few times? TK always has crappy advice and tips floating around....

This one suggests seating SOs separately as one of the options...
http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/attending-wedding/qa/inviting-attendants-significant-others.aspx

mollybarker11 · May 2014

laughed so hard at this article i frightened my cat

CamiSelene · May 2014

And this is the exact reason why I am constantly having to put one of my BM's mind at ease when she says she feels like in her words "a deadbeat bridesmaid" because she lives in another province. She feels bad that she can't help me more and I keep telling her that her only obligation is to get a dress, show up, and be reasonably sober until pictures are done. Hahaha, but seriously, she has been in numerous weddings and based on her concerns and insecurities I worry about what kind of expectations those brides put on her as a BM. She sounds like a battered woman when I talk to her! She's constantly thanking me for being so awesome and I'm like, this is how it should be. You're my friend, not my slave.

OnceUponAVine · May 2014

Wwwhhhyyyy do weddings turn normally rationale adults into crazies???

Well this will probably cause a lot of consternation...

Re: Well this will probably cause a lot of consternation...

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