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family in wedding party

lreiclreic member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Party
My fiance and I are hoping to have a MAX of 8 people standing up with us. We would prefer it to be smaller even than that. In order to make this happen, I have decided not to ask my sister, sister-in-law, brothers and brother-in-law to stand up. They are all 10 years older than me, with kids, etc. I know they will understand, but I am worried about my mother being disappointed. 

I am looking for some other way to have them be an integral part, but not officially be in the wedding party. One idea we expressed was having my siblings be a part of the wedding processional after parents and before wedding party. Has anyone done something similar? Their official titles will not affect pictures, just what happens during the ceremony. 
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Re: family in wedding party

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    artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    lreic said:
    My fiance and I are hoping to have a MAX of 8 people standing up with us. We would prefer it to be smaller even than that. In order to make this happen, I have decided not to ask my sister, sister-in-law, brothers and brother-in-law to stand up. They are all 10 years older than me, with kids, etc. I know they will understand, but I am worried about my mother being disappointed. 

    I am looking for some other way to have them be an integral part, but not officially be in the wedding party. One idea we expressed was having my siblings be a part of the wedding processional after parents and before wedding party. Has anyone done something similar? Their official titles will not affect pictures, just what happens during the ceremony. 
    Your options for having them in the wedding are reader or bridesmaid/groomsman. There's at least one additional option if it's a Catholic wedding. Otherwise, guest is certainly title enough for anyone. If you have them seated as part of the ceremony, it should be before parents. The mother of the bride should always be last to be seated before the wedding party, as her arrival signals the beginning of the processional.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    lreic said:
    My fiance and I are hoping to have a MAX of 8 people standing up with us. We would prefer it to be smaller even than that. In order to make this happen, I have decided not to ask my sister, sister-in-law, brothers and brother-in-law to stand up. They are all 10 years older than me, with kids, etc. I know they will understand, but I am worried about my mother being disappointed. 

    I am looking for some other way to have them be an integral part, but not officially be in the wedding party. One idea we expressed was having my siblings be a part of the wedding processional after parents and before wedding party. Has anyone done something similar? Their official titles will not affect pictures, just what happens during the ceremony. 
    Whatever you decide to do, don't choose anyone with the intention of avoiding your mother's disappointment.  It's not up to her who is in your wedding party.

    Also, to be honest, if someone is not in your wedding party, the only other role for them is guest, and it's an honored role in and of itself.  Take photos with your siblings and siblings-in-law and let it go at that.  But don't try to "include" them any other way, such as in the processional or recessional.

    Modified to add: You can have them as readers, soloists, or ushers, and I would consider people filling those roles members of your wedding party.
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    JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
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    Your other options for including people are really reader or soloist.  In a Catholic wedding mass, individuals can present the gifts prior to confirmation and those who have completed the requirements can (sometimes) assist as Eucharistic ministers.  In some families/regions/social circles, being asked to be an usher, as opposed to a groomsmen, is also an acceptable role. 

    You could ask your brothers (one or all) seat your mother and/or grandmother, as opposed to asking groomsmen to do that.  They do not need to be groomsmen or ushers to do that.

    If you want to acknowledge the people on your list as VIPs, you could also include them by giving them a nosegay, corsage or boutonniere, and seating them in places at the front of your ceremony site.
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    csuavecsuave member
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    All of what @jaxinblue said.  MIL had two escorts, one on each side so doubling up on mom and/or grandma is also an option (not sure how many brothers you have).

    JaxInBlue said:
    Your other options for including people are really reader or soloist.  In a Catholic wedding mass, individuals can present the gifts prior to confirmation and those who have completed the requirements can (sometimes) assist as Eucharistic ministers.  In some families/regions/social circles, being asked to be an usher, as opposed to a groomsmen, is also an acceptable role. 

    You could ask your brothers (one or all) seat your mother and/or grandmother, as opposed to asking groomsmen to do that.  They do not need to be groomsmen or ushers to do that.

    If you want to acknowledge the people on your list as VIPs, you could also include them by giving them a nosegay, corsage or boutonniere, and seating them in places at the front of your ceremony site.

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    iloveu4everiloveu4ever member
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    Usher, readers?

     
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