Why is Saying "I Love You" So Hard?

Re: Why is Saying "I Love You" So Hard?

• pinkshorts27 member

  

  May 2014 edited May 2014

  Nah, I say it to all pets. I also say it to FI, every time we talk, sometimes multiple times (but we are currently long distance). I say it to my parents when thanking them and every time I leave to go somewhere and every time we get off the phone. We also talk about every other day. I say it to my brother (only sibling) every time we get off the phone too.  Also every time any family leaves after visiting, but extended family I not on the phone (except grandma and grandpa).  

  
  

  But I am gooey so I know it isn't for everyone. 

  
  

  ETA: I always mean it when I say it. 

  
  

  

  
  

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  May 2014

  I say it to my family and my pets and some of my friends.
  
  I think those words have a lot of power and I won't say them unless I mean them, not even to be nice or because someone said it to me first.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• ashley8918 member

  

  May 2014

  doeydo said:

  Do you have a hard time saying "I love you" to anyone, even when you do love them?
  I say it to my FI and my cats, but I don't really say it to my family (ie. my sisters and my mom) even when they say "I love you" I don't say it back.  I feel bad about it because I don't want them to think that I don't love them.  IDK.

  I am the exact same way. I rarely say it to anyone but FI and my kids. It's not that I don't love my mom, sister, etc. It just feels weird to me. FMIL says she loves me all the time, and I think it hurts her that I don't say it back. I do love her but it just feels really weird to me.

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• ohannabelle member

  

  May 2014

  I say it often, and I mean it. Like HisGirl, I believe they are powerful words. I have no problem saying it to my family and friends.

  And weirdly, even though I can be kind of sharp sometimes, I don't find it hard to love other people. 

  Most people are pretty interesting, and decent. 

  Also, I was raised with a lot of that love and peace for all mankind stuff. Some of it stuck, which is good, or I'd just be unbearable. 

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• SmileDamnit member

  

  May 2014

  I have zero problem saying it when I mean it.

  

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• JCbride2015 member

  

  May 2014

  I also say it a lot, and always mean it.  I say it to...

  Fi

  Parents

  Sister

  Grandmas

  FPILs and Fi's siblings

  My three best friends

  
  

  Fi and I didn't say it until we'd been dating 6 months.  We were young and I think we both knew we had something special, but were scared of committing in high school.  So it took us a while!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  
  

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• phira member

  

  May 2014

  I say it to J, to our birdo, to my mom, and to my close friends. I mean it; it's not something I say without thinking (well, except to birdo, but he also says it without meaning it I'm sure).

  
  

  It's like hugging. If you're a huggy person, you're used to hugging people, it's not as big a deal to give someone a hug, etc.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• hlvonb member

  

  May 2014

  doeydo said:

  Do you have a hard time saying "I love you" to anyone, even when you do love them?
  I say it to my FI and my cats, but I don't really say it to my family (ie. my sisters and my mom) even when they say "I love you" I don't say it back.  I feel bad about it because I don't want them to think that I don't love them.  IDK.

  @doeydo

  
  

  I don't have a problem saying it to family members, pets and my very close friends. I won't say it (or even attempt to) if I don't mean it.

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• WinstonsGirl member

  

  May 2014

  I don't say it to anyone other than DH. I've never been big into saying to my parents, though I have no idea why. But it was really important for me/DH to say it, especially when someone is leaving (even just for work) in case something happens. I can't explain why him and not my family. Maybe it's cos I chose to be with him and my family has always been there?? I'm just not affectionate with them and haven't been since I was pretty young. I know my parents know I love them, but I'm sure they'd love to hear it too, but it feels weird to say it, since I don't

  
  

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• sophhabobopha member

  

  May 2014

  I say it to family, friends, and FI's family. I'm lovey though. (:

  

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• Dignity100 member

  

  May 2014

  I have a hard time saying it to anybody but FI and the animals.  It even feels weird hearing my parents say it to 'us kids'.
  

  
  
  
  

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• emmyg65 member

  

  May 2014

  Yeah, I'm a weirdo and have a hard time saying "I love you" or hugging people. But I know how important it is, so I do it. Especially to DH, my parents and brother, and my BFF. I say it to my cat, but that's more "I wuv you, yes I do, I wuvwuvuv you little kittybitty."

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• theartistformerlyknownas member

  

  May 2014

  Everything @ohannabelle said. I say it a lot, because I mean it. Parents, siblings, siblings' kids, future in-laws, friends, friends' kids... "love yous" and hugs all around.

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• Inkdancer member

  

  May 2014

  I am a gooshy care bear. I tell everyone I love them. But I certainly don't expect to hear it back, or that everyone should be like that. They are heavy words with lots of meaning and deserve to be used only when meant.

  

  

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• smalfrie19 member

  

  May 2014

  I say it when I mean it...that being said, I care a lot about a lot of people. My fi, my family, my friends. Etc

  

  
  

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• emmaaa mod

  

  May 2014

  I say it when I mean it. So this includes FI, family, and our close friends. Pretty much every time I get off the phone with someone it is "Love you, bye!"

  
  

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• grumbledore member

  

  May 2014

  I have no trouble saying it to FI, my daughter, or my cats.  It is only recently that I started being able to say it to my best friends.  I have serious issues with putting myself out there and they know that, but somehow in the past few months it's started to be easy.

  
  

  Mind you, one has been my best friend since I was 16 and one has been a very very close friend since I was 19.  I am 32.  

  
  

  I've never said it to either or FI's parents or his great aunt, even though I do love them.  I also haven't ever said it to his niece or nephew even though I love them.  I am hoping I will feel more comfortable with these after the wedding but realistically it may take more time than I'd like.

  
  

  

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• behsco90 member

  

  May 2014

  BF and I say it to each other every day but I've never really said it to my parents or my brother.  Like others have said, it just feels weird.
  

  
  

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• wandajune6 member

  

  May 2014

  I have a hard time saying it to anyone for the first time but, after I do, it flies out of my mouth constantly.
  
  I don't tend to say it in conversations but it comes out when I say goodbye to my parents or grandmother. Somehow my sister and I can't say it to each other.
  

  

  

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• LabLove86 member

  

  May 2014 edited May 2014

  It is something I only say to the people I really feel it for. BF, family, friends. If I love them I tell them. But I'm not someone who's very "Ahhh! I love you!! AHHHahahaha!" to everyone. Make sense?? 

  
  

  
  

  Growing up we were a very open family - physically, emotionally, communication, ect.  - so we were constantly hugging, kissing, saying "I love you" and all of that. And I am extremely grateful for this because my mom passed away when I was 17 very suddenly and no one had a chance to say goodbye. And I know that she knows that we loved her. But I also don't' ever want anyone to suddenly be gone and NOT know that. So - as above - if I love you - you know it.

  
  

  
  

  edited for clairification

                                  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• Artemischief member

  

  May 2014

  I have a bit of a hard time with people, other than FI and immediate family. It took me a long time to be comfortable enough saying it to FI's parents (they're big on it). I think I was just having trouble accepting the fact that here are these parent figures who have no obligation to love me (just tolerate me) and yet they care this deeply.

  

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• PrincessOfHavoc member

  

  May 2014

  Not really. But after a major incident in school, I really wanted to be sure my family knew how much I did love them.
  
  I cannot end a conversation with friends and family without saying I love you. I want my last words with anyone to be a reminder of our love.

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• beharrington member

  

  May 2014

  I say it all of the time to the people I do love whether it's family or friends. DH and I tell each other often. He didn't tell me he loved me until after 6 years of dating. It just wasn't something he said and I'm still one of the only people he says it to so it means a lot when I hear him say it. My parents tell him they love him all of the time and he just hugs them back (note: no one cares that he can't say it since he shows love by his actions instead). But I grew up in a house where we were told every day how much we were loved and it's just normal for me.

  

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