Update on our no soda wedding

serena569 · May 2014

I have taken a lot of heat from the women in this group for not hauling soda into a county park for our 200+ guests. Our wedding was Saturday. It was fun, festive, and casual. We had a barbershop quartet for our ceremony and cocktail hour. Our bouquets were pinwheels. The centerpieces were pots of grass with pinwheels. We had a popcorn cart, a candy buffet with retro candy, cheesecake with a topping bar instead of cake, and a sundae bar in the late evening that also included root beer floats.

Dinner was a pig roast. Drinks were coffee, milk, bottled water, citrus infused water, lemonade and iced tea. We offered sangria and craft beer. We also had vodka, whiskey, rum, and peach schnapps to mix in to the iced tea and the lemonade.

I cannot count the number of positive comments we received about not serving soda. The parents appreciated that their kids didn't have unlimited caffeine and the guests thought no soda went with our Main Street USA theme.

The DJ and the photographer both commented that this was the most fun wedding they have attended in years. The dance floor was full all night. And the bartenders said there were no complaints about drink choices.

My point - go with your gut. Some of the women here can be quite testy if you don't make your wedding exactly like their view of what a wedding should be. But they also do not know your guests. You do so do what you feel is right and make your wedding uniquely you instead of a cookie cutter of everybody else's wedding. That is how your wedding will stand out

chibiyui · May 2014

Congrats! You should definitely post pictures once you get them, everything sounds cute.

That said, I don't think anyone was rude to you on your previous thread about this. In the end, it's not really a big deal cause no one is required to serve soda, but I also think it's a better mixer then lemonade and iced tea. I suppose, go with your gut is great advice for things that won't affect your guests comfort, going with your gut regarding soda good, going with your gut on not having enough chairs for everyone, not so good.

But, I personally would have been quite happy with the sangria, so again, congratulations on your marriage and post pics!

onlyjamielynn · May 2014

I think that sounds awesome. I have also seen on here where people are told they must or must not do something. I despise cookie cutter weddings. But that's me! I am curious to know how did you work the coffee? We're having an outdoor wedding and have debated about this for a while. Mostly because of logistic issues.

serena569 · May 2014

Eh. We didn't have enough chairs for the ceremony. We decided the day before to move the ceremony outside to the gazebo. We rented chairs but the park didn't deliver them. We only had 25 chairs so we designated someone to make sure the elderly and disabled had chairs. It wasn't optimal but it worked out fine.

sophhabobopha · May 2014

serena569 said:

Eh. We didn't have enough chairs for the ceremony. We decided the day before to move the ceremony outside to the gazebo. We rented chairs but the park didn't deliver them. We only had 25 chairs so we designated someone to make sure the elderly and disabled had chairs. It wasn't optimal but it worked out fine.

Wait a second. So you have 25 chairs for 200 guests?

chibiyui · May 2014

sophhabobopha said:

serena569 said:

Eh. We didn't have enough chairs for the ceremony. We decided the day before to move the ceremony outside to the gazebo. We rented chairs but the park didn't deliver them. We only had 25 chairs so we designated someone to make sure the elderly and disabled had chairs. It wasn't optimal but it worked out fine.

Wait a second. So you have 25 chairs for 200 guests?

That's. ...quite an issue. I personally would have lost it over that.

sophhabobopha · May 2014

chibiyui said:

serena569 said:

Eh. We didn't have enough chairs for the ceremony. We decided the day before to move the ceremony outside to the gazebo. We rented chairs but the park didn't deliver them. We only had 25 chairs so we designated someone to make sure the elderly and disabled had chairs. It wasn't optimal but it worked out fine.

Wait a second. So you have 25 chairs for 200 guests?
That's. ...quite an issue. I personally would have lost it over that.

I would have lost my shit.

Jen4948 · May 2014

sophhabobopha said:

chibiyui said:

serena569 said:

Eh. We didn't have enough chairs for the ceremony. We decided the day before to move the ceremony outside to the gazebo. We rented chairs but the park didn't deliver them. We only had 25 chairs so we designated someone to make sure the elderly and disabled had chairs. It wasn't optimal but it worked out fine.

Wait a second. So you have 25 chairs for 200 guests?
That's. ...quite an issue. I personally would have lost it over that.

I would have lost my shit.

Me too. I'm sure more than 25 people needed to sit down. And out of doors, not having enough places other than the ground for people to sit on really isn't considerate of guests' needs.

serena569 · May 2014

Steven Covey talked about the circle of control. This was outside our control. We could choose to let it wreck the whole day or we could choose to adapt. We adapted. As far as consideration of guest needs - they understood there was not a thing we could do about it.

ShesSoCold · May 2014

Well no wonder people didn't bitch about not having pop. Jesus.

lyndausvi · May 2014

If find it strange people took time out to compliment someone on not having soda. It's such a strange compliment. I also do not get not having soda fits into a Main Street USA theme. Main Street USA includes a soda fountain to me. Whatever. Glad it worked out, but I know that would not be the case in my family.

chibiyui · May 2014

lyndausvi said:
If find it strange people took time out to compliment someone on not having soda. It's such a strange compliment.

I also do not get not having soda fits into a Main Street USA theme. Main Street USA includes a soda fountain to me.

Whatever. Glad it worked out, but I know that would not be the case in my family.

It kinda reads as "thanks for taking care of some of my parenting responsibilities n"

JoanE2012 · May 2014

serena569 said:

Steven Covey talked about the circle of control. This was outside our control. We could choose to let it wreck the whole day or we could choose to adapt. We adapted. As far as consideration of guest needs - they understood there was not a thing we could do about it.

Actually, it was in your control. You said you decided THE DAY BEFORE to move the ceremony outside. If you couldn't get enough chairs, why not keep it wherever it was originally planned with enough seating? Lemme guess, the vision of having your wedding outdoors was more important than the comfort of 200 guests?

serena569 · May 2014

JoanE2012 said:

serena569 said:

Steven Covey talked about the circle of control. This was outside our control. We could choose to let it wreck the whole day or we could choose to adapt. We adapted. As far as consideration of guest needs - they understood there was not a thing we could do about it.

Actually, it was in your control. You said you decided THE DAY BEFORE to move the ceremony outside. If you couldn't get enough chairs, why not keep it wherever it was originally planned with enough seating? Lemme guess, the vision of having your wedding outdoors was more important than the comfort of 200 guests?

We ordered the chairs. They were not delivered. Our original plan was to have the ceremony inside then have our hired helpers move all the chairs and set up the tables for dinner. When we decided to hold it outside, we set up for dinner right away. To move back inside we would have had to tear all that down and set up for a ceremony. Our guests would have been standing for at least an hour if we went that route. Or they could stand for a 15 minute ceremony. Seemed like a logical decision to me but thanks for your judgement.

I sure am glad I am laid back and able to find a plan b so we could continue with the fun of the day instead of becoming a bridezilla and wrecking it for everyone.

Guess what? I also didn't get upset when my brand new sister-in-law put dinosaur hats on 6 kids and sent them stampeeding through our first dance. Instead I threw my head back and laughed.

Jen4948 · May 2014

serena569 said:

JoanE2012 said:

serena569 said:

Steven Covey talked about the circle of control. This was outside our control. We could choose to let it wreck the whole day or we could choose to adapt. We adapted. As far as consideration of guest needs - they understood there was not a thing we could do about it.

Actually, it was in your control. You said you decided THE DAY BEFORE to move the ceremony outside. If you couldn't get enough chairs, why not keep it wherever it was originally planned with enough seating? Lemme guess, the vision of having your wedding outdoors was more important than the comfort of 200 guests?

We ordered the chairs. They were not delivered. Our original plan was to have the ceremony inside then have our hired helpers move all the chairs and set up the tables for dinner. When we decided to hold it outside, we set up for dinner right away. To move back inside we would have had to tear all that down and set up for a ceremony. Our guests would have been standing for at least an hour if we went that route. Or they could stand for a 15 minute ceremony. Seemed like a logical decision to me but thanks for your judgement.

I sure am glad I am laid back and able to find a plan b so we could continue with the fun of the day instead of becoming a bridezilla and wrecking it for everyone.

Guess what? I also didn't get upset when my brand new sister-in-law put dinosaur hats on 6 kids and sent them stampeeding through our first dance. Instead I threw my head back and laughed.

You may not have gotten upset, and nobody at your wedding may have said anything, but here in this forum we do not endorse not properly attending to your guests' needs, let alone crowing about how "well" your wedding went with you not doing so.

OwningAHome1981 · May 2014

serena569 said:
I have taken a lot of heat from the women in this group for not hauling soda into a county park for our 200+ guests. Our wedding was Saturday. It was fun, festive, and casual. We had a barbershop quartet for our ceremony and cocktail hour. Our bouquets were pinwheels. The centerpieces were pots of grass with pinwheels. We had a popcorn cart, a candy buffet with retro candy, cheesecake with a topping bar instead of cake, and a sundae bar in the late evening that also included root beer floats.

Dinner was a pig roast. Drinks were coffee, milk, bottled water, citrus infused water, lemonade and iced tea. We offered sangria and craft beer. We also had vodka, whiskey, rum, and peach schnapps to mix in to the iced tea and the lemonade.

I cannot count the number of positive comments we received about not serving soda. The parents appreciated that their kids didn't have unlimited caffeine and the guests thought no soda went with our Main Street USA theme.

The DJ and the photographer both commented that this was the most fun wedding they have attended in years. The dance floor was full all night. And the bartenders said there were no complaints about drink choices.

My point - go with your gut. Some of the women here can be quite testy if you don't make your wedding exactly like their view of what a wedding should be. But they also do not know your guests. You do so do what you feel is right and make your wedding uniquely you instead of a cookie cutter of everybody else's wedding. That is how your wedding will stand out

Root beer floats have soda in them, as Root Beer is a soda.

OwningAHome1981 · May 2014

serena569 said:
Eh. We didn't have enough chairs for the ceremony. We decided the day before to move the ceremony outside to the gazebo. We rented chairs but the park didn't deliver them. We only had 25 chairs so we designated someone to make sure the elderly and disabled had chairs. It wasn't optimal but it worked out fine.

This is a problem on so many levels. Every butt deserves a seat. Secondly, some older people want to feel as though they are still young. If I was an old lady and you saved me a seat "bc i'm old" i'd hit you with my cane.

I would be pretty pissed off if I wanted to sit down and there was no seat for me to do so.

lyndausvi · May 2014

OwningAHome1981 said:

I have taken a lot of heat from the women in this group for not hauling soda into a county park for our 200+ guests. Our wedding was Saturday. It was fun, festive, and casual. We had a barbershop quartet for our ceremony and cocktail hour. Our bouquets were pinwheels. The centerpieces were pots of grass with pinwheels. We had a popcorn cart, a candy buffet with retro candy, cheesecake with a topping bar instead of cake, and a sundae bar in the late evening that also included root beer floats. Dinner was a pig roast. Drinks were coffee, milk, bottled water, citrus infused water, lemonade and iced tea. We offered sangria and craft beer. We also had vodka, whiskey, rum, and peach schnapps to mix in to the iced tea and the lemonade. I cannot count the number of positive comments we received about not serving soda. The parents appreciated that their kids didn't have unlimited caffeine and the guests thought no soda went with our Main Street USA theme. The DJ and the photographer both commented that this was the most fun wedding they have attended in years. The dance floor was full all night. And the bartenders said there were no complaints about drink choices. My point - go with your gut. Some of the women here can be quite testy if you don't make your wedding exactly like their view of what a wedding should be. But they also do not know your guests. You do so do what you feel is right and make your wedding uniquely you instead of a cookie cutter of everybody else's wedding. That is how your wedding will stand out
Root beer floats have soda in them, as Root Beer is a soda.

LOL - I caught that too. Just forgot to mention it.

OwningAHome1981 · May 2014

lyndausvi said:
If find it strange people took time out to compliment someone on not having soda. It's such a strange compliment.

I also do not get not having soda fits into a Main Street USA theme. Main Street USA includes a soda fountain to me.

Whatever. Glad it worked out, but I know that would not be the case in my family.

I feel the same regarding the no soda comment. That seems kind of strange to me as well.

banana468 · May 2014

At six months pregnant, would I get a seat? I'm not elderly or disabled. If I DID get a seat would my able bodied husband still be stuck standing?

One thing's for sure: if you made my husband or me stand for the ceremony I wouldn't be paying attention to the lack of soda.

serena569 · May 2014

I sincerely hope that every one of you who are judging have everything go perfectly at your wedding. The reality is that won't happen and you'll have to adapt. Unfortunately I see that some of you will adapt but will also make the decision to let that control your emotions for the day. Good luck with that.

On that note, I'm off to enjoy my honeymoon knowing that I made the right decisions.

OwningAHome1981 · May 2014

serena569 said:
I sincerely hope that every one of you who are judging have everything go perfectly at your wedding. The reality is that won't happen and you'll have to adapt. Unfortunately I see that some of you will adapt but will also make the decision to let that control your emotions for the day. Good luck with that.

On that note, I'm off to enjoy my honeymoon knowing that I made the right decisions.

No 25 seats for 200 people is not the right decision.

chibiyui · May 2014

serena569 said:

I sincerely hope that every one of you who are judging have everything go perfectly at your wedding. The reality is that won't happen and you'll have to adapt. Unfortunately I see that some of you will adapt but will also make the decision to let that control your emotions for the day. Good luck with that.

On that note, I'm off to enjoy my honeymoon knowing that I made the right decisions.

Well, I did hire competent vendors for important things like rentals/chairs, so everything went pretty smoothly there.

The only issue we had was the photobooth printed the wrong name and date at the bottom of the photo strip. That is a non-issue, missing 175 chairs is an issue.

Honestly, I think the real issue here is that your vendor completely dropped the ball and didn't fix it. Did anyone call them to be like, "Hey,....we need our chairs over here." I mean, shit. If our chairs hadn't shown up, we'd have pulled from our dinner site and walked them back over while our guests were enjoying cocktail hour.

JoanE2012 · May 2014

serena569 said:

JoanE2012 said:

serena569 said:

Steven Covey talked about the circle of control. This was outside our control. We could choose to let it wreck the whole day or we could choose to adapt. We adapted. As far as consideration of guest needs - they understood there was not a thing we could do about it.

Actually, it was in your control. You said you decided THE DAY BEFORE to move the ceremony outside. If you couldn't get enough chairs, why not keep it wherever it was originally planned with enough seating? Lemme guess, the vision of having your wedding outdoors was more important than the comfort of 200 guests?

We ordered the chairs. They were not delivered. Our original plan was to have the ceremony inside then have our hired helpers move all the chairs and set up the tables for dinner. When we decided to hold it outside, we set up for dinner right away. To move back inside we would have had to tear all that down and set up for a ceremony. Our guests would have been standing for at least an hour if we went that route. Or they could stand for a 15 minute ceremony. Seemed like a logical decision to me but thanks for your judgement.

I sure am glad I am laid back and able to find a plan b so we could continue with the fun of the day instead of becoming a bridezilla and wrecking it for everyone.

Guess what? I also didn't get upset when my brand new sister-in-law put dinosaur hats on 6 kids and sent them stampeeding through our first dance. Instead I threw my head back and laughed.

Your "plan b" wasn't much of a plan. Cherry picking who got a seat and leaving the rest to stand isn't a good plan. You may THINK it worked out ok, but that's because no one wants to hurt your feelings by telling you it was really shitty. Guarantee there were people bitching about it behind your back.

Why didn't you plan it properly from the beginning? Your original plan with chairs inside for the ceremony and then have other chairs outside for the reception? Then no one would have to wait around for chairs to be set up? These things should all be factored in to your budget when you start planning!

serena569 · May 2014

Guarantee our friends and family don't bitch but thanks for thinking everyone is just like you.

lyndausvi · May 2014

I'm sure there was bitching about no seats. I would not bitch to the couple though.

JoanE2012 · May 2014

The death of common sense.....

OwningAHome1981 · May 2014

serena569 said:
Guarantee our friends and family don't bitch but thanks for thinking everyone is just like you.

Everyone talks. Maybe not to your face, but believe me, I guarantee at least 1 person out of 200 had something to say.

chibiyui · May 2014

OwningAHome1981 said:

Guarantee our friends and family don't bitch but thanks for thinking everyone is just like you.
Everyone talks. Maybe not to your face, but believe me, I guarantee at least 1 person out of 200 had something to say.

Word. I've mentioned before that one of my friends had a few faux pas with her wedding, do I ever bitch about those same faux pas at other weddings to her? No. Do I bitch about those faux pas to people who might mention it to my friend? No.

Complaining is a part of human nature. But there are very few people that are going to tell the bride or groom that their wedding suffered from poor planning.

Jen4948 · May 2014

serena569 said:

I sincerely hope that every one of you who are judging have everything go perfectly at your wedding. The reality is that won't happen and you'll have to adapt. Unfortunately I see that some of you will adapt but will also make the decision to let that control your emotions for the day. Good luck with that.

On that note, I'm off to enjoy my honeymoon knowing that I made the right decisions.

No, you made the wrong decisions and we're not impressed by your patting yourself on the back over it.

Your wedding guests may not have said anything to you, but don't take their silence for approval. The people you forced to stand may hate your guts right now and quite possibly you'll be getting a lot less invitations in the future because you treated your guests like shit. We don't have to endorse it, so stop snarking at us for judging you about it, because by posting here, you invited judgment from us.

AddieCake · May 2014

I don't buy for a second that there were compliments on the lack of soda. I just don't believe anyone would compliment that. As PPs said, it's just weird that anyone would think to compliment a beverage that wasn't there.

I am, however, on your side about the chairs, to some degree. If you ordered them and they didn't show, that is not your fault. I guarantee you people were not ok with it, though.

Update on our no soda wedding

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