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Pre-wedding Parties
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Lingerie Shower

emmyloveschuckemmyloveschuck
in Pre-wedding Parties
Okay, so the bride asked me to throw her a lingerie shower... not a big deal, I'm happy to do it. In the past, the very recent past, she has mentioned that she wants something a bit raunchy and risque. I found out today that her mom will be attending... her mom is not "that" type of mom. The shower is very soon and I am wondering if (and how) I should tone down the "raunchy" that the bride has talked about without her mom feeling uncomfortable, because I know her mom, and she will feel VERY awkward. TIA
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Re: Lingerie Shower

  • ffmaidffmaid
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    1. Bride does not dictate shower theme Hostess does 2. Rauncy does not fit showers save that fior bachlorette 3. Hostess also dictates guest list if you do not want mom there do not invite her. 4. hoestess dictates theme you do not have to do ligerea and can be classy about it if you wish or decline entirely to help this greedy bride
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    "You know, bride, I'm really happy to support you and I will gladly attend any shower you have. But I'm just not in a position to throw one like I thought I would. I'm very sorry. I hope you understand." If she kicks you out of the wedding for this, she wasn't a very good friend to begin with.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    retread, I just love it when you say "gimme pig".  It makes me laugh every. single. time.  =)
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • beardce722beardce722 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you feel the need to bend to the brides wishes have a traditional family shower and do the lingerie thing at the bachelorette party. I think both the bride and her mother will appreciate it in the end.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    gimme pig......love it. Ditto all the other ladies.  Raunchy belongs at the bach party not the shower.  Also, brides don't ask for showers. Oh, wait - that's what they all said.
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  • KJDOHERTYKJDOHERTY member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto the suggestion about having the lingerie portion at the bachelorette party, unless you've already sent out invitations for the lingerie shower and that it's a lingerie only shower.  If you're stuck with the lingerie shower, I'd honestly just ignore the raunchy request, either that or mention your concerns about the bride's mom feeling uncomfortable to the bride and see what the brides says.  Maybe she just hasn't thought it through yet and talking it over with her will make her come to her senses. 
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  • TnJBonnellTnJBonnell
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with everyone! The Bridal shower should not be raunchy! The mother should def be allowed to go the bridal shower, how can she not! Save the raunchiness for the bachlorette where mom will not attend! Thats what the bachloretty party is for!Just talk to the bride, let her know what your plans are and explain to her the situation! Good Luck!
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  • jinxed8605jinxed8605
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would be appalled that she ASKED FOR A SHOWER! I would've said no just at that honestly...If you choose to continue to throw her a shower, throw the one you want to throw her and save the raunchy for a Bach Party.  I sure wouldn't want to go to a raunchy shower, they are supposed to be classy. Even lingerie showers are supposed to be classy!
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  • mrsstiles0810mrsstiles0810 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Have the lingerie shower a "Romantic Theme" (candles, rose petals, etc), even moms can appreciate some romance and then do something at the Bach party about heating up the night and making it risqué or something like that...totally agree that could be awkward with mom around!
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  • kethayerkethayer member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    LOL me and my MOH want to throw me one. So we decided that instead of a bach party we would do that with the girls right before the coed bach party (me and fi did not like the idea of having different parties). It was a joint idea and we are working together in the planning and costs. I would say I am a gimme bride with this idea, but I wanted to include some friends that wanted to go along with the old bach party ideas and did not want to join the coed one. Besides, I am helping with everything so it works out in the end...
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  • jesstevens214jesstevens214 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's unreasonable for the bride to ask for a shower...how else would you know what she wants?  It is about her!  However I do think that rauncy is not appropriate for the elder ladies that will be there.  Moms and aunts and even grandmas still picture their "little angel" and baby girl, why would she want to destroy that image that her family has for her?  Talk to the bride and come to a compromise.  My sister in law had a lingerie party/shower with moms and some friends gave inappropriate gifts but it was all good fun and no one seemed offended.
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  • samanthalynne1986samanthalynne1986
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Its not wrong for her to mention that she would like a lingerie shower.. My MOH is throwing me a bridal shower and i asked her about doing a lingerie shower with a few close friends.. No family really would be invited bc we wouldn't So its not wrong of her to mention it, otherwise how would you know she would even like one! Put it this way! If shes getting married once and only once. Go all out for her. She will love it in the end and everyone who does it for her.
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