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Snarky Brides

So Much Wrong!

Simky906Simky906 member
250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
edited May 2014 in Snarky Brides
Ok, I've tried to be the bigger person here but I can't do it anymore! The wedding that FI and I will be attending next month is driving me insane!

The couple got engaged shortly after we did last summer and they set their date for late June 2014. In November, we get a mass email from the bride with their wedding video. I'm very excited and watch it without even reading the email. I assumed they changed their minds about the big wedding so I watched their lovely intimate ceremony in a park, with just immediate family attending. I thought it was kinda cool that they recorded it so everyone could still see it. I finish the video and proceed to read the rest of the email; this is just the legal ceremony so don't worry peeps, we're still getting married next summer!

This got an immediate WTF from me as I attempted to pick my jaw up from the floor, but the couple in question are Jewish so (my understanding is) they are not married according to Jewish law. I tried not to get super judgey at this point but it still seemed rather AWish to record the first ceremony if you're having another one. They continued to refer to each other as FI post-legal ceremony.

Moving on to December, we get the StD with their wedding website info. Click on the wedding website and are informed that they want cash for their wedding gift. Also, they request that we RSVP to the StD, which I just find confusing. When we're hanging out with them at a New Year's Eve party the bride expresses confusion that hardly anyone RSVPed. I tried to explain that it was something I had never seen before and was fairly certain that applied to the other guests as well but she basically ignored me.

So, in what I assume is an attempt to get those early RSVPs that she is clearly dying for, they sent their invites out in late January with a mid March reply date. I find this really annoying because with my retail job this means I'm going to have to take a vacation day for their wedding instead of requesting the day off. Since I'm saving up as many days as possible for our wedding/honeymoon this was quite off putting.

But as of last night I have officially lost it with this wedding. This is when she posts photos of her bachelorette party weekend on Facebook! You're already married! You are not a bachelorette anymore! If you wanted a bachelorette party then you should have had one in November! 

Any one of these things I could overloook but it's just one after another. 

TL;DR Invited to wedding where couple got married last fall and sent a video of said wedding to everyone, asked for cash gifts only, requested RSVPs to the StDs, set response deadline over 3 months before the wedding and had a bachelorette party even those they're already married

Re: So Much Wrong!

  • While I completely agree with you, they're FI's family and it's important to him that we attend. Plus it will give me time to spend with his grandmother and some other family. (They're scattered all across the country so I'll take most any opprotunity to see them.)

    I admit that I did a secret happy dance though when one family member informed me that she had to choose to attend our wedding or theirs (couldn't afford to travel twice) and she chose ours.
    Bubblegum5586
  • Ahhhh. Well, that makes sense. DH and I went to his brother and SIL's shit-storm of a cluster-fuck wedding, too, for much the same reason.

    And hey, if there's other family there whom you do like, so much the better!
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    Simky906
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Yeah, I usually say, "I would NEVER go to a wedding if my partner and I weren't invited together," but I DID. His brother's wedding. There was no way I could avoid going without destroying my relationship with his family.

    But yeah. I'm Jewish, although I'm not having a Jewish wedding (not getting married by a rabbi in accordance with Jewish laws and traditions). But this is still pretty stupid.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
    Simky906
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    phira said:
    Yeah, I usually say, "I would NEVER go to a wedding if my partner and I weren't invited together," but I DID. His brother's wedding. There was no way I could avoid going without destroying my relationship with his family.

    But yeah. I'm Jewish, although I'm not having a Jewish wedding (not getting married by a rabbi in accordance with Jewish laws and traditions). But this is still pretty stupid.
    @phira I have to ask.  So you were invited to FBIL's wedding, but your partner was not? 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    phira said:
    Yeah, I usually say, "I would NEVER go to a wedding if my partner and I weren't invited together," but I DID. His brother's wedding. There was no way I could avoid going without destroying my relationship with his family.

    But yeah. I'm Jewish, although I'm not having a Jewish wedding (not getting married by a rabbi in accordance with Jewish laws and traditions). But this is still pretty stupid.
    @phira I have to ask.  So you were invited to FBIL's wedding, but your partner was not? 
    Ah, no. My partner was sent an email invitation. It was not address to him and me, just to him. Everyone assumed I'd go, but I was still really irritated.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
  • @phira‌ I think that's why I kept trying to give them a pass on the whole PPD thing but all the other stuff has made it pretty irritating. 

    Oh well, hopefully the actual event will be nice and I know I'll enjoy hanging out with FI's family
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