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Do I get my MOH sis a gift?

SngreenbergSngreenberg member
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in Wedding Party
Kind of an etiquette question-
Short version is that I got married 5 years ago and now, after a lot of tumult, death, pg losses, divorce, I found a *wonderful* guy and am getting married again 6/14. My sis was MOH last time too and I had all the "parties" etc. This time she decided I didn't need them (she is not girly etc) and so my FI's aunt threw a shower, a friend organized a tea for my bach party. I bought my sis her dress since money was tight when the order needed to go in. Was going to give her a gift card for the great inn we stay at near her house when we visit but now I wonder if I need to? I bought her and my jr bridesmaid monogrammed robes for the day and jewelry as well. Thoughts? Thx!
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Re: Do I get my MOH sis a gift?

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    Sngreenberg said:
    Kind of an etiquette question- Short version is that I got married 5 years ago and now, after a lot of tumult, death, pg losses, divorce, I found a *wonderful* guy and am getting married again 6/14. My sis was MOH last time too and I had all the "parties" etc. This time she decided I didn't need them (she is not girly etc) and so my FI's aunt threw a shower, a friend organized a tea for my bach party. I bought my sis her dress since money was tight when the order needed to go in. Was going to give her a gift card for the great inn we stay at near her house when we visit but now I wonder if I need to? I bought her and my jr bridesmaid monogrammed robes for the day and jewelry as well. Thoughts? Thx!
    Yes you should get your MOH/sis a gift for being in your wedding.  It sounds to me that since she didn't throw you parties and she didn't buy the dress that you bought her a silly (sorry) monogrammed robe and jewelry that will be used on your wedding day (most likely for pictures) that she doesn't really deserve a present.  Not cool.

    You don't have to get her anything big or expensive, but you should get her something.  She is your sister and she is standing up in your wedding.  

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    SngreenbergSngreenberg member
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    wow- this is why I don't post on these boards. You could have had an answer without being rude, now, couldn't you?
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    Sngreenberg said:
    wow- this is why I don't post on these boards. You could have had an answer without being rude, now, couldn't you?
    I'm sorry but how was I rude in my post?  I made an observation and gave you my opinion.  That does not equate me as being rude.

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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    Maggie was not the least bit rude. 

    To answer your OP, yes, of COURSE you need to get your sister a gift. It is customary to give members of your wedding party gifts. And giving them robes and jewelry to wear for your wedding is not a good gift for them. It's a gift for YOU because it is part of your wedding vision. Give your bridal party gifts they would like that have nothing to d with your wedding.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    lilacck28lilacck28 member
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    I understand budget concerns. I almost decided not to have bridesmaids because I was concerned about being able to afford getting them a gift. But you already asked your sister to stand up with you. It was very kind of you to buy her dress, but I agree with PP, a nice thoughtful gift is still important to show your thanks. It does not have to be expensive. If she likes to bake, maybe a cute little spatula, or if she's into doing her nails, a nail polish in a pretty color. A card even! 
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    Bubblegum5586Bubblegum5586 member
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    Sngreenberg said:
    wow- this is why I don't post on these boards. You could have had an answer without being rude, now, couldn't you?
    The responses on this board can be a bit harsh at times, but this is most definitly not one of those time! at all!
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    sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
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    Sngreenberg said:
    wow- this is why I don't post on these boards. You could have had an answer without being rude, now, couldn't you?
    image
    image
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    coleford0coleford0 member
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    Maybe just get her something small and thoughtful, doesn't have to be expensive! I think it would also be nice if you wrote out a nice thank you card for her to let her know that you are thankful that she is standing up beside you on your wedding day.

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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    Maybe she didn't throw you a shower and b-party because so many people think pre-wedding parties for second weddings are inappropriate.  

    Either way, a gift is not "payback" for throwing you parties.  It's to honor the friendship you have with her and the roll she plays in your life.  A cheesy robe and some jewelry for your wedding is not a gift to her.  

    You need to get her and the other BM gifts.
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