Wedding Etiquette Forum

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Re: Free Advice

  • Lia, if I didn't offer kid friendly foods to the 3 children at my wedding, do I owe them and their parents an apology?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • What are your thoughts on a Goonie-themed wedding? Complete with booby traps, treasure maps, and pirate treasure?
    Erryday I'm trufflin
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  • What are your thoughts on a Goonie-themed wedding? Complete with booby traps, treasure maps, and pirate treasure?
    Do it. If your friends don't understand, they aren't your real friends!
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    Just make sure you start it off right!
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  • I can't believe I failed so miserably. I will apologize at ONCE! And a Goonie wedding would kick ass.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • AddieCake said:
    I can't believe I failed so miserably. I will apologize at ONCE! And a Goonie wedding would kick ass.
    It's okay.
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    Plenty of people aren't perfect.

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  • Dear Lia,

    Do you think it's a good idea for me to secretly ask the hairdresser and makeup artist who are prepping my bridesmaids to make them look ugly?  Everyone is telling me I should do this.  I just want to be the prettiest girl at my own wedding.  That's not too much to ask, is it?

    I already picked the ugliest dress I could get them to buy.

    Sincerely,
    Ugly Duckling Bride

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I hate my FI's friend's girlfriend, and have plans to break them up very soon. Should I still invite her?

    Also, my FI's grandmother is terrible and doesn't approve of me. She keeps buying items for us that's similar to what we registered for (different brands/styles though) at different stores and then gets upset when I don't immediately delete our similar registry items. Should I have a conversation with my FI about her behavior or should I just complain to my friends every time it happens?
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  • One of my bridesmaids is considering getting pregnant sometime before the wedding. How do I kick her out?

    Also one of my bridesmen has gained a little weight, do I have to pay for Jenny Craig for him or is it up to him to foot the bill?
  • PDKH said:
    I hate my FI's friend's girlfriend, and have plans to break them up very soon. Should I still invite her?

    Also, my FI's grandmother is terrible and doesn't approve of me. She keeps buying items for us that's similar to what we registered for (different brands/styles though) at different stores and then gets upset when I don't immediately delete our similar registry items. Should I have a conversation with my FI about her behavior or should I just complain to my friends every time it happens?
    PDKH, you need more follow-through! If you are going to break them up, see that it is done before invitations are sent. As for the grandmother, honesty is the best policy. Why don't you just tell her how awful she and her not-close-enough gifts are? You can't let that resentment simmer or it might boil over. Better to just let it out before the wedding in a stream of steaming mad. And then tell all your friends about it so they know not to buy off registry too! Win-win!
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  • Lia,

    If I spend the entire reception standing in front of the mac'n'cheese bar eating all the macaroni, does that make me a bad hostess? Why do I have to pay for other people's macaroni anyway? How many times can I say the word 'macaroni' before it becomes ridiculous and funny?

    Love,
    GIMMEMACARONI
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
  • MagicInk said:
    One of my bridesmaids is considering getting pregnant sometime before the wedding. How do I kick her out?

    Also one of my bridesmen has gained a little weight, do I have to pay for Jenny Craig for him or is it up to him to foot the bill?
    Be honest with your friend. Tell her that prioritizing her family over how she will look in your wedding photos is hurtful. You are worried that her world is no longer revolving around you, and you can't have anyone in the wedding who isn't willing to make you her number one priority. I'm sure she'll see how hurtful she is being and put the baby-making on hold.

    As for the bridesman, since talking about weight can be touchy, I'd just skirt (pun intended!) the issue by suggesting he wear a "bridesmaid muumuu" instead. If he objects to wearing women's clothing you can remind him that Polynesian men are manly and wear skirts, or move his to your fiance's side. His choice, fit into a tailored suit, or wear a dress.
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  • Should I put the reminder to bring cash for the dollar dance and honeymoon jar on the invitation insert with our registry information?  Or should I put it on the insert reminding guests to bring cash for the cash bar? 

  • phiraphira member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I don't like my future sister-in-law. I don't want her to come to the wedding because she doesn't deserve to enjoy our awesome food and entertainment and happiness. How do I uninvite her and still make sure her husband, the best man, attends and smiles and is happy for us?
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • PDKH said:
    I hate my FI's friend's girlfriend, and have plans to break them up very soon. Should I still invite her?

    Also, my FI's grandmother is terrible and doesn't approve of me. She keeps buying items for us that's similar to what we registered for (different brands/styles though) at different stores and then gets upset when I don't immediately delete our similar registry items. Should I have a conversation with my FI about her behavior or should I just complain to my friends every time it happens?
    PDKH, you need more follow-through! If you are going to break them up, see that it is done before invitations are sent. As for the grandmother, honesty is the best policy. Why don't you just tell her how awful she and her not-close-enough gifts are? You can't let that resentment simmer or it might boil over. Better to just let it out before the wedding in a stream of steaming mad. And then tell all your friends about it so they know not to buy off registry too! Win-win!
    You are a goddess among internet etiquette mavens. image
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  • Should I put the reminder to bring cash for the dollar dance and honeymoon jar on the invitation insert with our registry information?  Or should I put it on the insert reminding guests to bring cash for the cash bar? 

    Of course! Invitations should prepare guests for the event. Imagine how embarassed they would be if they didn't have enough cash for the dollar dance and honeymoon jar! Same goes for the cash bar. What kind of host lets her guests go thirsty? Including the information as many places as possible is the least you can do for your guests.
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  • phira said:
    I don't like my future sister-in-law. I don't want her to come to the wedding because she doesn't deserve to enjoy our awesome food and entertainment and happiness. How do I uninvite her and still make sure her husband, the best man, attends and smiles and is happy for us?
    Phira, this one is really tricky. You don't want to offend the best man, but you also don't want to be in the vicinity of his wife. I think the best thing to do would be to sit her down for a one-on-one girl talk. Explain that your fiance doesn't like her, but always tries to get along to maintain the relationship with his brother. Explain what an emotional toll this exacts on him, and then, emphasizing that she not mention this chat to her husband, suggest that it might be best if she come down with a migraine the day of the wedding, for your fiance's sake. I'm sure she'll understand and your future brother-in-law will never find out.
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  • Dear Lia: My FI's best man has really long hair that I don't like. We have a key to his apartment, because when he's out of town on tour, we take care of his cats and other.... items. Do you think it would be ok if I used the key to enter his apartment in the middle of the night and cut off his hair? Love, LMC PS - Not sure if this is important, but his BM is Glenn Danzig.
  • Why the fuck did TK take my spaces out?
  • I'm having a Pretty in Pink themed wedding.  The pink invitations will tell everyone that they need to wear some shade of pink.  My sister just told me that she bought a lilac dress that she loves.  She's an idiot and apparently thinks that lilac and pink are the same thing.  Even though I've told her she can't wear that dress to my wedding, she says that I can't tell her what to wear and she's wearing it.  What's the best way to disinvite her for not adhering to the rules?
  • adk19 said:
    I'm having a Pretty in Pink themed wedding.  The pink invitations will tell everyone that they need to wear some shade of pink.  My sister just told me that she bought a lilac dress that she loves.  She's an idiot and apparently thinks that lilac and pink are the same thing.  Even though I've told her she can't wear that dress to my wedding, she says that I can't tell her what to wear and she's wearing it.  What's the best way to disinvite her for not adhering to the rules?
    I think you are getting ahead of yourself. There is still time to coerce her into wearing pink. You can threaten to disinvite her, tell your mom, stomp your foot, and pull her hair. You haven't exhausted your options yet, so keep trying! If all else fails and she shows up in lilac you can have her removed or douse her in maraschino cherry syrup. Bride's choice!
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  • catlady14catlady14 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited May 2014
    Dear Lia,

    I keep posting about my awesome wedding planning, shopping, and dreaming on facebook every day. The problem is that my FB friends are asking when they can expect their invite and saying how excited they are for my wedding. How do I let them know that this is my *special day* and they are definitely NOT invited because I want to keep my wedding private?



    ETA: clarity :(
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