Awkward Hotel Block Situation

kgd7357 · June 2014

We set up wedding room blocks last fall for our June 28th 2014 wedding. I knew my friends would prefer a reasonable hotel vice super fancy (I picked a Marriott Residence Inn for $119/night. My dad was certain that his family/friends would want a Ritz-Carlton for $199/night. I got the Marriott to give us a 22 room courtesy block (yay!). My dad asked for 20 rooms at the Ritz, of which we have to pay for 17 of if they aren't booked, which is garunteed on my credit card.

Well guess what? His family took the entire room block at the Marriott, and my friends can't afford the Ritz, so they are now crashing with friends or found other hotels. As a result this leaves us with about 8 unfilled rooms at the Ritz to meet our minimum.

1) Lesson learned for new ladies. Avoid blocks that require you to have a minimum number of rooms!

2) Don't listen to second hand info from family when making choices. Talk to people yourself!

3) What the heck do I do now? I can offer to upgrade people from the Marriott to the Ritz and just pay the difference? I could just eat all the rooms? I could pay entirely for people to move over so at least the rooms are used? I could get a bunch of connecting rooms and make it an after party?

Oh and did I mention my dad is staying at the Marriott and my mom refuses to move to help offset my cost. Ugh. They also have not offered to help pay for the unfilled rooms.

ladyamanuet · June 2014

You dad asked for 20 rooms at the Ritz and isn't paying the unused rooms? I would lose it.

If you can, I would offer the difference to your friends and see if they want to book there - paying the $119 plus tax they would have, you paying the $80 difference. It will be cheaper than eating the whole cost.

I also would be having a come to Jesus meeting with my dad about him INSISTING on this block, then not taking a room himself, and not offering to cover the unused rooms that he INSISTED you have. But, I also wouldn't have booked those rooms on my card - I would have made him do it on his if he wanted it. But since it is too late for that, ya, I would be having a serious chat with my dad about the absolutely terrible position he put you in. But that's me.

[Deleted User] · June 2014

ladyamanuet said:

You dad asked for 20 rooms at the Ritz and isn't paying the unused rooms? I would lose it.

If you can, I would offer the difference to your friends and see if they want to book there - paying the $119 plus tax they would have, you paying the $80 difference. It will be cheaper than eating the whole cost.

I also would be having a come to Jesus meeting with my dad about him INSISTING on this block, then not taking a room himself, and not offering to cover the unused rooms that he INSISTED you have. But, I also wouldn't have booked those rooms on my card - I would have made him do it on his if he wanted it. But since it is too late for that, ya, I would be having a serious chat with my dad about the absolutely terrible position he put you in. But that's me.

Everything she said. Especially about eating the $80 rather than the whole amount for your friends.

kgd7357 · June 2014

I can't get too mad at him until after the wedding. They offered to pay the catering and booze bill (very generous) and they still owe $13,000 on it. The rooms will set me back about $3500. $13,000>$3,500 so I'm not gunna cut off my nose to spite my face. You better believe we will have some words when this is done. Let this be a lesson learned to soon-to-be brides.

sarahufl · June 2014

This stinks. But if your dad insisted on the rooms at the Ritz, he should pay for them. I am sorry you find yourself in this spot. I would ask my closest friends if they would move and allow me to cover the difference and explain what happened. I would ONLY ask certain people that I have that kind of relationship with- I would never make it a blanket request. FWIW, if I were your friend I would happily move over to the Ritz and wouldn't accept your money. I would do it just because I can see how frustrating the situation has to be for you.

annathy03 · June 2014

Ugh, that sucks! I agree the Ritz guarantee never should have gone on your CC, but what's done is done. I would let your friends know you'll cover the difference between the Marriott and the Ritz for them, eating $80 a room sounds a lot better than $200.

kgd7357 · June 2014

Ok. So if I tell people I'll pay the difference it would probably be easiest to do with my wedding party members that decided on other hotels. My only issue is that we have one member of the bridal party staying full price at the Ritz (her choice). Can I offer the upgrade to the others and not offer the one already staying the same deal? Obviously I can't make people take the offer either way.

abbyj700 · June 2014

I know you're frustrated and it sucks - and is a hard lesson to learn. BUT your dad really couldn't force your hand on this. You made the decision to book these rooms. Do what you can to switch people over and cover the cost if you feel like that'll be better overall. And please don't make comments like you can't fight with your dad until you get his money. This is your father, not a checkbook with arms.

blabla89 · June 2014

kgd7357 said:

Ok. So if I tell people I'll pay the difference it would probably be easiest to do with my wedding party members that decided on other hotels. My only issue is that we have one member of the bridal party staying full price at the Ritz (her choice). Can I offer the upgrade to the others and not offer the one already staying the same deal? Obviously I can't make people take the offer either way.

That's tricky. I kind of think that's okay as long as you offer it privately to each of the other members of the BP, and they don't turn around and mention it to the one who's paying full price. It would be very rude of them to discuss money with the one who has already paid full price, but that doesn't mean they won't let it slip.

KickAssMOH · June 2014

something to think about - Ritz Carleton and Marriott are the same chain of hotels. When I book meetings at Ritz' I get reward points that I can put towards any Marriott and vice versa. That being said, You should contact Marriott corporate immediately and see what they can do about this. I am an Exec Asst. and plan events/room blocks for a living and I am constantly stuck in similar situations where I have to ask hotels to make concessions for cancelled events and changing plans. Chances are that someone will be willing to cut you some slack as you are giving business to two of their hotels.

KGold80 · June 2014

kgd7357 said:

Ok. So if I tell people I'll pay the difference it would probably be easiest to do with my wedding party members that decided on other hotels. My only issue is that we have one member of the bridal party staying full price at the Ritz (her choice). Can I offer the upgrade to the others and not offer the one already staying the same deal? Obviously I can't make people take the offer either way.

No, I don't think you can offer that to the others without offering her the same. $80 isn't worth possibly damaging a friendship. People talk.

vh2014 · June 2014

KickAssMOH said:

something to think about - Ritz Carleton and Marriott are the same chain of hotels. When I book meetings at Ritz' I get reward points that I can put towards any Marriott and vice versa. That being said, You should contact Marriott corporate immediately and see what they can do about this. I am an Exec Asst. and plan events/room blocks for a living and I am constantly stuck in similar situations where I have to ask hotels to make concessions for cancelled events and changing plans. Chances are that someone will be willing to cut you some slack as you are giving business to two of their hotels.

Don't forget to mention when you speak with them that you are cancelling the rooms at the other location if you have to keep the ones at the Ritz. They'll probably be happy to count the ones at the Marriott towards your stay AND the Ritz prides itself on taking care of the customer so... hopefully they'll make some concessions for you. It ne

vh2014 · June 2014

KickAssMOH said:

something to think about - Ritz Carleton and Marriott are the same chain of hotels. When I book meetings at Ritz' I get reward points that I can put towards any Marriott and vice versa. That being said, You should contact Marriott corporate immediately and see what they can do about this. I am an Exec Asst. and plan events/room blocks for a living and I am constantly stuck in similar situations where I have to ask hotels to make concessions for cancelled events and changing plans. Chances are that someone will be willing to cut you some slack as you are giving business to two of their hotels.

Don't forget to mention when you speak with them that you are cancelling the rooms at the other location if you have to keep the ones at the Ritz. They'll probably be happy to count the ones at the Marriott towards your stay AND the Ritz prides itself on taking care of the customer so... hopefully they'll make some concessions for you. It never hurts to ask.

SewInLoveWithDMB · June 2014

KGold80 said:

kgd7357 said:

Ok. So if I tell people I'll pay the difference it would probably be easiest to do with my wedding party members that decided on other hotels. My only issue is that we have one member of the bridal party staying full price at the Ritz (her choice). Can I offer the upgrade to the others and not offer the one already staying the same deal? Obviously I can't make people take the offer either way.

No, I don't think you can offer that to the others without offering her the same. $80 isn't worth possibly damaging a friendship. People talk.

STIB

I agree. I would offer the $80 to that friend as well.

I feel bad you are in that situation. As you say, it's water under the bridge now, but be careful of things you do in the future. I guess this goes to anyone ever reading this. Don't put large guarantees on your credit card ever unless you have the cash in hand to back it up. (Large vacations, dedicated seats to sports games for a season, etc.) It sucks that you could lose $3500 and as mentioned, your father should totally help you out on this. How dare he not book at the hotel he required? Ugh.

But, you are correct, it would be worse if he backed out of everything. It just sucks you are in this position.

I would ask close friends, privately, one by one and explain the situation. As soon as they agree, send them a check the next day so they know you are serious and then have the cash ahead of time to cover it.

countrygirl061513 · June 2014

KGold80 said:

kgd7357 said:

Ok. So if I tell people I'll pay the difference it would probably be easiest to do with my wedding party members that decided on other hotels. My only issue is that we have one member of the bridal party staying full price at the Ritz (her choice). Can I offer the upgrade to the others and not offer the one already staying the same deal? Obviously I can't make people take the offer either way.

No, I don't think you can offer that to the others without offering her the same. $80 isn't worth possibly damaging a friendship. People talk.

There is a chance that even if you extend her the option that since she anticipated paying for her room at the Ritz by herself, that she will turn down your offer to cover a portion of her bill. But I would try talking to the Ritz about possibly counting the rooms at their sister hotel before you offer to pay for anyone's rooms. So sorry this happened to you.

phira · June 2014

I would do the following:

1) Everything @kickassmoh said.

2) I wouldn't talk to your parents about this situation, but if there's a future situation where your parents pressure you to make this kind of a choice, I would tell them absolutely not. No way. I wouldn't trust them after this.

Kauris · June 2014

You also need to think ahead to the 13k your parents promised you, that money isn't guaranteed either. What if they renege on that too? ETA: Can you still afford the wedding without going into debt? Are there areas you can cut back, just in case?

pinkshorts27 · June 2014

Yea, if my dad insisted on such a ridiculous hotel deal it would have been guaranteed on his credit-card, not mine. Also I would not count on the future money they are lending until the money is in hand. The only reason I count on my parents to follow through (even though my parents would never lie and I trust them), is because they signed the contracts as the person responsible and everything is going directly onto their credit card or they handed me cash for it.

kgd7357 · June 2014

FYI on my finances. I can pay the 13K if they don't. I just don't want to. I'd much rather pay $3,500. Hence avoiding upsetting them for now.

phira · June 2014

kgd7357 said:

FYI on my finances. I can pay the 13K if they don't. I just don't want to. I'd much rather pay $3,500. Hence avoiding upsetting them for now.

Yeah, I'd rather pay $3500 than $13k, too. Your dad is still wrong, but his punishment can be that you're going to continue letting him pay that $13k.

abbyj700 · June 2014

kgd7357 said:

FYI on my finances. I can pay the 13K if they don't. I just don't want to. I'd much rather pay $3,500. Hence avoiding upsetting them for now.

This is your dad - why not think about not upsetting him ever? You seem to be planning to fight with him after you have the money he's GIFTING you for this wedding. You made the commitment for the hotel because he asked. He didn't force you. What exactly are you going to say?

kgd7357 · June 2014

abbyj700 said:

kgd7357 said:

FYI on my finances. I can pay the 13K if they don't. I just don't want to. I'd much rather pay $3,500. Hence avoiding upsetting them for now.

This is your dad - why not think about not upsetting him ever? You seem to be planning to fight with him after you have the money he's GIFTING you for this wedding. You made the commitment for the hotel because he asked. He didn't force you. What exactly are you going to say?

I'm simply going to tell him that he put me in a shitty situation. It was not one I expected or asked for. And that if he could help split the cost with me it would be helpful. As of now he hasn't offered, and I don't want to put the money he has already offered in jeopardy. They volunteered to help with the wedding. We did not ask for it. I understand this is crappy situation, and I'm looking for advice on dealing with it, not on how I messed it up in the first place.

ETA: Have you seriously not ever got in a fight with a parent? Sometimes they do shitty things, even when they don't mean it.

Rosebubbly · June 2014

I am in the hotel industry, so I know a lot about this. Your best option is to upgrade people and pay the difference. The hotel most likely won't care if you're giving business to another marriott or if you threaten to cancel. The reason for this is because even though they are all part of marriott they are most likely owned by completely different people, or the residence inn could even be a franchise meaning they have their own goals to meet. Moral of the story...never EVER sign an attrition clause in a contract for personal use. You can never guarantee what your guests are going to do as far as booking rooms. It's still worth a shot to ask the ritz...your sales manager could take pity on you and push to get it lowered or waived.

kgd7357 · June 2014

That's kinda what I figured. I did talk to my brother, a cousin, and my FSIL and they agreed to move if I'd pay the difference. That's 3 of 8 for the weekend, which helps.

@rosebubbly as someone in the industry, do you think a hotel might let me shift my nights to make up some of the minimum? These three rooms are actually arriving two nights earlier, so I could have them stay there Wednesday and Thursday too, bringing it down to only 2 other rooms I have to move for the weekend. Is it worth a shot asking?

phira · June 2014

abbyj700 said:

kgd7357 said:

FYI on my finances. I can pay the 13K if they don't. I just don't want to. I'd much rather pay $3,500. Hence avoiding upsetting them for now.

This is your dad - why not think about not upsetting him ever? You seem to be planning to fight with him after you have the money he's GIFTING you for this wedding. You made the commitment for the hotel because he asked. He didn't force you. What exactly are you going to say?

Because being someone's parent and giving a significant monetary gift does not entitle someone to be an asshat?

abbyj700 · June 2014

Why do we assume dad is being an asshat? He requested she got a block at a specific hotel. She looked into it - and found out that it required putting in a credit card number and that she would be charged if it isn't filled. Why wouldn't you just call your dad then and say "hey, this requires this - I won't be paying that so would you like to put the card down for the block or should we look at other options on hotels?" She's an adult, it's her wedding and her responsibility.

lyndausvi · June 2014

kgd7357 said:

That's kinda what I figured. I did talk to my brother, a cousin, and my FSIL and they agreed to move if I'd pay the difference. That's 3 of 8 for the weekend, which helps.

@rosebubbly as someone in the industry, do you think a hotel might let me shift my nights to make up some of the minimum? These three rooms are actually arriving two nights earlier, so I could have them stay there Wednesday and Thursday too, bringing it down to only 2 other rooms I have to move for the weekend. Is it worth a shot asking?

I've worked for both Marriott and the Ritz. Call your sales manager NOW and see what they can do. Most properties are independently owned, meaning Marriott is just the management company. Sometimes different properties from different brands will work together, other times they will not. If they will not lower the minimum see if they would be willing to lower the rate. Sure you have a contract, but the sales manager might be able to have some wiggle room. There might be another party who needs some of the rooms you have tied up? It doesn't hurt to ask.

GL

kgd7357 · June 2014

abbyj700 said:

Why do we assume dad is being an asshat? He requested she got a block at a specific hotel. She looked into it - and found out that it required putting in a credit card number and that she would be charged if it isn't filled. Why wouldn't you just call your dad then and say "hey, this requires this - I won't be paying that so would you like to put the card down for the block or should we look at other options on hotels?" She's an adult, it's her wedding and her responsibility.

The asshat part is requesting the block, then refusing to stay there since all the relatives that were "sure to book there" decided to go with the cheaper option that I specifically reserved. The best part is that my mother called all the relatives and told them about the cheaper option before I posted it on the website, so my friends got locked out of the block when they tried to book later.

My mistake is not making him use his CC.

AlexaF2014 · June 2014

Different idea: have you told your dad that this has happened? Like (completely innocent voice) "Hey dad, remember how you insisted on the Ritz hotel because you thought your guests would prefer it there? I spoke with the hotel, and the minimum hasn't been met yet, but all the rooms at my other, cheaper hotel are... by the guests you thought were going want the Ritz. Any idea what happened?" DO NOT demand anything, but a discussion needs to be had, especially since he insisted and your friends and BP got locked out of the hotel that they can afford.

Have you spoken with Marriott to see if they can increase the number of rooms on your block? They might take the discount vs losing the additional bookings entirely if you follow PPs suggestion of paying the difference to upgrade to the Ritz.

kgd7357 · June 2014

Thanks for some different ideas @AlexaF2014, I did mention it to him, and he said "Your mother doesn't want to move, sorry I thought we were going to book over there, but your mom wants to be with her sister (who of course picked the Marriott)." No mention of helping with the cost. I do plan on bringing it up to him again after the wedding and seeing if he will chip in for any cost of I have to eat.

The Marriott is totally sold out for Saturday night at this point. They already expanded the block twice so I could get my BMs in.

AlexaF2014 · June 2014

I would be wary about asking for money AT ALL, regardless of it being before/after the wedding. Yeah, what he did ended up being kind of crappy, and I would be furious if I were you, but as much as he pushed, the decision was ultimately yours and because you didn't talk out blocking funds with him before hand, the financial burden comes on you for it.

If he knows, I would keep letting him know. It isn't a money thing; it's that, as a host, your guests are uncomfortable with paying more, you knew that, you accommodated for that, but his insistence on (incorrectly) knowing what his friends/family would like put your guests out. If you are as stressed as I would be about this, I would talk to him again about what you are trying to do to make this right for your guests. IT IS NOT ABOUT MONEY, IT IS ABOUT YOUR GUESTS. Yeah, 3.5K is a lot, but part of hosting and etiquette is ensuring your guests comfort. That burden falls on you. If he is a reasonable human being, I would hope he would at least be willing to brain storm ideas with you. If not, then consider this a lesson learned in 1) trusting his judgement and 2) what you put your signature and money toward.

Awkward Hotel Block Situation

Re: Awkward Hotel Block Situation

Choose Another Board

Search Boards