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Honeymoon Registry/shower

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Re: Honeymoon Registry/shower

  • kitsunegari89kitsunegari89 member
    500 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    mrsmorales2be said:

    OP - why are you even here?  You've obviously, and stated repeatedly that you have, in fact, made up your mind to do this.  So, again, what do you want?

    What you have here is a load of crap.  It stinks.  It's offensive.  You've apparently already taken care of your other crap, but for the sake of having some crap you want this particular box of fecal matter as a token gesture.  Of course it stinks,  I don't care how much wrapping paper and pretty ribbons you want to dress it up with, this whole idea stinks.  And to call it a mini-shower instead of a shower?  That somehow makes it better?

    You aren't entitled to have a shower.  People aren't required to give you anything.  To blatantly ask for money is tacky, there is no way around that.  EVERYONE here has tried to tell you in the nicest way possible that this is a serious breach of etiquette.  You came to an etiquette board to ask about a matter of etiquette.  You've been given sound advice.  Please listen.

    It's my experience that HMRers and PPDers come to this board not seeking advice, but validation for decisions they have already made. I think we should boycott their threads.
    My colors are "blood of my enemies" and "rage".

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  • crunchymamaof2 crunchymamaof2 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    @mrshutzler isn't that true of most non etiquette approved topics? Think if we ignore them they'll go away? Lol

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    So I just had a conversation about this topic with a friend.  I told we are probably having a delayed HM, because it's not in the budget right after the wedding and I don't want to rely on wedding gifts to pay for it (even though Fi's family always gives cash).  I just don't want to get in a bind where we expect to pay off the HM with gifts and then we don't have enough.

    Friend says, "Oh, my friend did the Honeyfund and I thought that was a good idea.  But it's tricky, because what would you do if you don't make enough?  I thought it was cool though, they had a lot of different activities you could buy them."

    I told her the HF really just skimmed off a processing fee and cut the couple one big lump check.  Friend was crestfallen.  "Oh, I didn't realize at all that's how it worked.  Wow, that's really shitty.  I would have just given them money if they didn't have the HF!"

    Hint: your friends and family who you say "don't mind," probably don't really understand how this works.  And people will give you cash without you asking for it.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • adverb1129adverb1129 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    dramamonkey said:
    For what it's worth, I did a honeymoon registry. 

    I regret it. 

    It was fine, people contributed, whatever....

    But I wish I hadn't done it. I felt huge amounts of guilt about doing the things that people had paid for. I was too busy making sure we did all of those things, that I rushed us around and didn't take as much time to RELAX on our honeymoon. 

    I think you'll find, like DH and I did, that people will just be generous when it comes to weddings. Why pay some company a 3% fee for money? It adds up. 

    You're right though, most people won't tell you that it's rude. There are a lot of people who don't care, but most of them don't understand how it "really works" they think they are actually buying you that item, not just throwing a wad of cash at you. 

    I'm so grateful to you for posting this.  I am another shame-faced honeyfunder who regrets her choice.  We will be going on our honeymoon in a few weeks and I will be making sure to do all of the activities that people paid for.  My DH really wanted the honeyfund but I really should have stood firm on the issue- I know we look tacky and we had to pay a fee to the website for no good reason.

    I will tell any bride from my own experience: DO NOT SET UP A HONEYMOON REGISTRY.  It's honestly better to have the knowledge that you didn't do anything tacky or offensive while planning your wedding.

    In your present situation, OP, I would suggest "closing" the honeyfund by erasing all gifts that haven't been purchased yet.  I would also agree with other posters who suggest rebranding your shower as just a regular party or a girl's hang out or something.
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  • ZhabeegoZhabeego member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments
    I have a similar problem. I'm invited to dinner at a friend's house this weekend and I really want to take a dump on the dinner table while we're eating. I've heard people say that's rude and gross but I've really taken all the dumps I want in toilets and feel like it's worse to ask to use their bathroom. What's a polite way to ask to take a dump on their table and make it fun for them too?
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  • ohannabelleohannabelle member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    Zhabeego said:
    I have a similar problem. I'm invited to dinner at a friend's house this weekend and I really want to take a dump on the dinner table while we're eating. I've heard people say that's rude and gross but I've really taken all the dumps I want in toilets and feel like it's worse to ask to use their bathroom. What's a polite way to ask to take a dump on their table and make it fun for them too?
    A rhyming poem. Always. That makes rudeness cute. 
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  • ohannabelleohannabelle member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    The tragic thing is, that was better poetry than you see on most cutesy wedding signs. Even with poop as a subject matter.
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