Dear Prudence,
Thirteen years ago my parents divorced after I discovered he had been having a long-term affair with another woman. It left my mom a wreck, and I decided to cut off all contact with my father after he turned vengeful toward me for having found out his affair. I was 14 years old, and a family therapist supported my decision as my father’s behavior was out of line. During the first few years he sent emails asking to see me. But whenever I saw him it ended in tears and disappointment, so I stopped replying to his emails entirely. Today my mom is still a wreck, but I somehow managed to turn out OK. I excelled in my studies, have a wonderful boyfriend, friends, and a good job. My father recently sent an email asking to meet as he has realized he acted wrongly and would like to make amends. My feelings of anger toward him are almost gone and I know deep inside he is a good man. Nevertheless, I’ll never be able to forgive him for how he treated me or my sister. I just feel sadness over the situation and can’t really see how meeting him could do any good. Still people keep telling me I should give him yet another chance. What should I do?