This is my first post, by the way!
My wedding is July 26 and things are turning into a catastrophe!! I will start with the bridesmaids...
So my sister(MOH) and I planned a sort of "destination" bachelorette party.. us girls planned to go to Minneapolis and the guys would go to Kansas City. We live in Iowa, so the drive was about 5 hours each way. No big deal! The stay for the weekend in a huge rented house for us girls was $80 a person and then we planned to cook our own food and mainly relax. Not cheap, but not a giant expense either. So we invited all of my girls, KNOWING that not everyone would be able to come due to work and money. We also invited a few other girls that aren't a part of the party. The girls that said they could come were supposed to pay up front, because that's how the booking works. We told them clearly that it was non refundable because we had to pay to book early, so they need to be sure that they could come! A week before, three girls still hadn't paid. One girl (who did pay) decided she could not afford it and that she wanted her money back. I told her I was sorry but it wasn't refundable and she proceeded to yell at me about how her bills and child are more important than my party (obviously). I'm still thinking about just giving her money back, but I just can't see how I can afford it as I had to take the wrap for the other girls that said they were coming, but decided not to.
So the day came and we left on a Friday. Two girls were supposed to come down Sat am..no shows. One said she was sick, the other said she was on her way and then when she was almost there had to "turn around and couldn't make it" for unknown reasons.. (She probably never left in the first place). Still, not a big deal if she couldn't come, but so sketchy. So I was left with just three other girls out of 7 and even though we had a blast, I was very disappointed that the others didn't come.
The same girl that had to "turn around" asked me a few months ago if she could throw me a bridal shower. I said of course and got her a guest list with addresses, but she hasn't sent out invites and the party is June 29th! I am NOT greedy, but I have family members asking me when my shower is and if no one is hosting they would like to. I'm really bad with confrontation so I feel bad saying something even though it's her fault! What do I do??! My MOH is my amazing sister, but she is super broke and hasn't done a whole lot either. 
I UNDERSTAND that these girls have no obligations to do things for me and that's not what I'm trying to get at whatsoever.
Now for my FI's side... They planned the same trip to KC and got more guys to attend. However, his BEST friend growing up told him he would be coming, but when the day came he was nowhere to be found and didn't answer any calls or texts! I feel sooo bad for my hunny. Once again, he was not upset that he couldn't make it, but the fact that he flat out ignored him the entire weekend. Another good friend decided last minute he couldn't come because of work but was all over Facebook the whole weekend partying. And then to top it all off, his best man left all the guys downtown Kansas City with dead phones and no car in the middle of the night to go screw some random chick. They were lost and had to wait two hours and pay $80 for a cab back to the house!! They got back and left him there and drove home. Yes, the best man is single and he can do as he pleases, but FI is upset because he just wanted to share the experience with him and he doesn't think that a good friend would do that.. I am also very close with the best man and now my FI is talking about kicking him out (and the others) and it really bothers me. He thinks that the people standing next to us should be great friends no matter what and if they aren't, they don't deserve it. I'm a very forgiving person and just want this all to go away! And I certainly don't want to change up the party arrangements this late in the game! I just don't know what to do! Please give me some advice!! Thanks!