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Family dinner the night before wedding

jules3964jules3964 member
First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
edited June 2014 in Pre-wedding Parties
FI and I are having a small, simple wedding (no bridal party) so there isn't a need for a rehearsal, but we're still hosting a dinner for family the night before the wedding. There could be as many as 20+ people in attendance, or as few as 14, depending on who is able to go. 

FI's parents are divorced (and both are remarried) and are NOT on good terms. They will not say more than hi to each other. I'm concerned about a seated dinner with so few people being really awkward, like they would almost be forced to interact, and there wouldn't be much of a buffer. Would it be weird if we didn't have one big table where everyone ate together, but made it more casual — maybe more like a cocktail party? And had small separate tables for people to eat and mingle?

Any other ideas?
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Re: Family dinner the night before wedding

  • tammym1001tammym1001 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I don't think it would be weird for you to have it cocktail style, but at the same time if that isn't what you want then I don't think you should make special accommodations for your FI's parents. If one of them feels like they can't be at the same table with the other for dinner then they are free to leave. Please don't change your plans to enable them to be immature.
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  • jules3964jules3964 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    tammym1001 said:
    I don't think it would be weird for you to have it cocktail style, but at the same time if that isn't what you want then I don't think you should make special accommodations for your FI's parents. If one of them feels like they can't be at the same table with the other for dinner then they are free to leave. Please don't change your plans to enable them to be immature.
    It's true, they should be adults, and I would think they'd be on their best behavior. We're just trying to have things go as smoothly as possible. FI gets kinda stressed thinking about it.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    We went for pizza, and people sat at multiple tables. I would think most anywhere you did it you would have more than one table unless you requested pushing them all together.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Lauderdale PinkLauderdale Pink member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    edited June 2014
    I would think that they would have enough sense to put it on "hold" for a wedding and all events that lead to it.  They each had second weddings and, I am sure, nobody's bad behavior from past relationships came up.  Now it is their turn to behave.  Have the type of dinner YOU and FI want and stop stressing.  This is your time to shine, so spend the evening focusing on the people who are there to share the joy.  If they choose to be miserable, then they are missing out on something they can never get back.  When they arrive, welcome them each, graciously, and thank them for helping make the evening so special for you and FI.  They should get the hint.
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