Etiquette

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Re: .

  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    OK let me give my back story. I orginally had 6 bridesmaids who are my 2 sisters and 4 friends. My fiance had 6 groomsmen but I demoted on of my bridesmaid because she was being negative all the time. She would complain about the dresses and events my other bridesmaid would plan and didn't want to attend any of the events. Lastly she became a bridesmaid because she begged me to include her because she was my sorority sister and I felt bad so included her, then eventually told her we didn't have enough groomsmen so she will have just me a honorary maid. But now his sister that I didn't include in the wedding at first becuase we had a big fight a few months before we got engaged wants to be a part of the wedding. I told her she could be a usher and help greet guest, but they are wearing blue and she doesn't want to wear blue but wear purple like my bridesmaids. She has become nicer since I've gotten engage to her brother but is that enough for me to tell her ok buy the purple dress and become a bridesmaid and have my sorority sister I demoted see that she got replaced with my fiance sister???
    sarawifenowjules3964melbelleup
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    No.  You really shouldn't demote or kick members of your wedding party out.  That's a friendship-ending move.  Nor do you replace them, because that tells the replacement that they weren't good enough to make the original cut.
    melbelleupPrettyGirlLost
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited June 2014
    You demoted a BM to Honorary because you didn't have even sides, you had a fight with your FSIL so you told her she couldn't be in the wedding, then you and FSIL reconciled so you told her she could be an usher, then she said she didn't like the color you told her to wear as an usher, so now you want to make FSIL a BM as a prize for her getting along with you and to show up your demoed BM? Do I have that right?
    melbelleupcowgirl8238PrettyGirlLostRebeccaB88
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    No. Not under any circumstances should you ever replace a bridesmaid with someone else.

    Other "nos," in no particular order...

    You shouldn't have picked anyone because they begged you. 

    Once you did though, you shouldn't have gone back on it without some SUPER serious reason like she physically assaulted you.

    Sides don't need to be even. No, not ever. You shouldn't have demoted anyone because of that.

    Bridesmaids don't need to like the dress color, they just need to show up wearing what's been designated with a smile slapped on their face, even if it's fake.

    Bridesmaids don't have to like any pre-wedding events, nor do they have to attend them. See above requirements of bridesmaids.

    Ushers don't need to wear any particular color. They are not part of the wedding party. Let your ushers wear whatever they want. Same goes for parents and readers.

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    chibiyuiVulgarGirlmollybarker11
  • edited June 2014
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    No you should not demote or replace people in your wedding party.
    I call MUD. This is too perfectly horrible to be real.
    Sadly, probably not...the topic was in TK's email today...so guessing she read the Ask Carly blog saying your shouldn't replace your MOH and wanted validation bc her situation and circumstances are some how different and that makes it OK...riiiiiiiiiight???
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    chibiyui
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    No you should not demote or replace people in your wedding party.
    I call MUD. This is too perfectly horrible to be real.
    Sadly, probably not...the topic was in TK's email today...so guessing she read the Ask Carly blog saying your shouldn't replace your MOH and wanted validation bc her situation and circumstances are some how different and that makes it OK...riiiiiiiiiight???
    Gah.  forgot about that.

    Do people this rude and thoughtless actually exist?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited June 2014
    I demoted the bridesmaid to honary maid because she was really negative and stressing me out. I just told gave her an excuse of not having even sides so it wouldn't hurt her feelings.

    -----Box problems-----

    Right.  Because that makes everything better.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    OP, how old are you?
    BabyFruit Ticker
    wrigleyville
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Shall we release the puppies yet?
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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    Teddy917
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Are you in high school? 

    wrigleyville
  • No. No to all of this.
  • edited June 2014
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    so with this very controversal post I started that is indeed very real, I decided to keep the sister as an usher and she can wear whatever purple dress she wants.
    How old are you?
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • I refuse to believe that anyone named Heavenly Bride wants to be taken seriously.
    ShesSoColdMairePoppywrigleyville
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    image
    ~*~*~*~*~

    climbingwifewrigleyvillechibiyuimellyD2014
  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    BAT SIGNAL! So surprised.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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    chibiyuiashley8918
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    image
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    beetherywrigleyvillechibiyuiclimbingwife
  • Holy Shitballs......I just like cannot even process this.
  • Something I have never quite understand is why people become so obsessive and crazy over this whole bridal party crap. 

    What is so special about being a BM? What if you don't want a bridal party? Why do some girls who are not even close to the bride freak out and demand to be a bridesmaid? I just don't understand this. 

    And why do brides get so hostile with their bridal party attendants? Who cares! The whole point to a bridal party, and this is just my opinion, is to have those close to you stand with you as you make such an important life decision. That's it! Who cares what color dress they have on, their hairstyle and make-up, whether or not they were able to attend your bridal shower/bachelorette party? How do you 'demote' someone close to you? You just don't. 

    Of course, lets hope you chose your bridal party wisely and they won't care about dress color or anything else just as trivial. Hopefully they accepted the request because they want to stand with as you make this life decision and for no other reason. 




    thisismynickname2nebullama
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    TOLD Y'ALL!
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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    JCbride2015chibiyuiashley8918buddysmom80
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