Request for Ts & Ps please (sad update)

JCbride2015 · June 2014

@pinkcow13 No news. But I had a dream last night that he got better and we were packing his suitcase to go home. So I'm calling it a sign.

sophhabobopha · June 2014

Thanks for the update! I'd call that a sign too.

pinkcow13 · June 2014

Awesome, I also think it's a sign!

JCbride2015 · June 2014

Sadly, Nonno has passed. Please keep our family in your thoughts.

If anybody has thoughts for what's most helpful for a grieving family, I'd love suggestions for how to help. I'm thinking cleaning, walking the dogs, maybe bringing food because the two cooks of the family are his daughters and they will be busy and grieving.

huskypuppy14 · June 2014

So sorry to hear that JC. Thoughts are with your family. Your suggestions for helping are perfect (food, cleaning and walking the dogs). Anything they don't have to worry about.

beethery · June 2014

Do as many errands around town that might need to get taken care of as possible. Go grocery shopping, do laundry.

Wishing you, your FI, and his family all the best. Once things have settled down, FI should try to keep in touch with his Nonni and make sure she's keeping busy and doesn't sink into a long-term grieving cycle where she does little else.

Jells2dot0 · June 2014

So sorry for your loss. More Ts and Ps being sent your way!!!!

JCbride2015 · June 2014

beethery said:
Do as many errands around town that might need to get taken care of as possible. Go grocery shopping, do laundry.

Wishing you, your FI, and his family all the best. Once things have settled down, FI should try to keep in touch with his Nonni and make sure she's keeping busy and doesn't sink into a long-term grieving cycle where she does little else.

@beethery‌ Thanks. For better or worse, Nonna passed many years ago, so he's not leaving behind a widow. But this means FMIL has no parents left and will be a mess. So we will try to keep checking in on her.

climbingsingle · June 2014

Oh no. I'm so sorry for your loss!

SmileDamnit · June 2014

Awe man, I'm so sorry to hear this. T & Ps continue to flow your way. {{hugs}}

MobKaz · June 2014

JCbride2015 said:

Sadly, Nonno has passed. Please keep our family in your thoughts.
If anybody has thoughts for what's most helpful for a grieving family, I'd love suggestions for how to help. I'm thinking cleaning, walking the dogs, maybe bringing food because the two cooks of the family are his daughters and they will be busy and grieving.

If they are a Catholic Italian family, they may take comfort in having Masses being said for their intentions and those of FI's nonno. Often after wake services, the family will gather at one home. Perhaps you could make sure that there is prepared food, cake, and coffee ready upon their return. Some families bring tons of food to the funeral home for people to grab a quick snack or sweet with coffee. You could organize something for that. Basically, as other posters have suggested, anything that lifts a burden from them at this time will be helpful.

chibiyui · June 2014

I'm sorry for your loss.

theartistformerlyknownas · June 2014

I'm so sorry JC.

::hugs::

You might also want to see if there's anyone who needs to be called and told the news, so FMIL doesn't need to keep repeating it.

Sugargirl1019 · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss! Hugs and support from TK.

Senecaf · June 2014

I'm sorry to hear that update. Thinking of you all

sophhabobopha · June 2014

So sorry! Hugs!

lc07 · June 2014

PPs have given great suggestions. Just wanted to add my condolences. So sorry, J. Thinking of you guys.

kmmssg · June 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. Running errands, making sure the grass gets mowed (can you hire that one out?), laundry, keeping things tidy in the kitchen help.

I was brought up in one of those families that always brings food to people when they lose someone. Being in my 50's now, my friends are starting to lose loved ones like their parents so I have a set menu:

Spiral sliced ham

a potato casserole

a hot vegetable

a ginormous bag of fresh veggies all cut up, with dip

Fresh fruit - whatever is in season - again, a pretty healthy amount as it is light and you can munch on it without warming it up

Lots of good rolls

a pan of brownies or a cake

a can of coffee

Lots and lots and lots of paper plates, disposable flatware, and cups

It all goes to the family in disposable pans so they don't have to worry about returning anything.

FMIL will most likely start to have a REALLY hard time when everything is over and people go back home to their lives and jobs. That is the circle of life. People have been around and have been comforting her and then they have to get back to their lives. Really be mindful of that time. That is when everything gets really quiet and you have too much time on your hands to think about what you are going through. Some simple homemade freezer meals for the FILs might be nice at that time.

Again, I am so sorry.

aspoonfulofsugar · June 2014

So sorry for you, FI, and family's loss. Lots of hugs and prayers to you guys at this time.

banana468 · June 2014

I'm so sorry. Along with funeral refreshments, food after the funeral is a big help. Mass cards are generally appreciated if Catholic and you may want to help go through photos if any will be on display.

And while this is more logistical help, it is a benefit to have someone in the home while the wake and funeral are going on. Those can be prime times to rob the house.

ShellD13 · June 2014

You've received great ideas already, but I just wanted to add that I am very sorry for your family's loss. My 98yo grandmother recently passed and it is a very hard adjustment. Especially in a case like this where you lose someone who was typically so robust and full of life.

Praying for you all.

Chipmunk415 · June 2014

JC Im so sorry. From experience with a similar situation when bil passed unexpectedly, heres what I did that my in laws later profusely thanked me for.

Did the coffee runs
Got groceries, disposble plates and utensils, etc. Sandwich fixings are always handy
Walked the dogs each morning- took care of pets and gave dh, smil, and fil the first few moments of the day to collect themselves.
Cleaned kitchen and bathrooms
Reassured smil that it was ok she didnt know what to do, shes not supposed to- parents aren't supposed to bury children
Made sure fil ate on a regular basis
Helped find a funeral home and provided quiet support
Handled call from family around the country as to when services would be held
Helped dh put together slideshows and music for viewing- held him when he cried- and gave in laws and dh privacy to watch and grieve together before videos were taken to funeral home

Since bils passing, made a point to check in on in laws at least once per week.

Put them in contact with compassionate friends- our officiant is a local member.

Check on dh regularly
help remember the good times with stories and photos

arrippa · June 2014

I am so sorry! My thoughts and prayers will be with your family.

Fran1985 · June 2014

Aw JC I am so sorry. Other pp have great suggestions, I just wanted to say I am sorry and am thinking about you and FI's family

SapphireCounselor · June 2014

I am so sorry for the loss, JC. Lots of thoughts for your family. When my grandmother passed, we told lots of stories about her in the days that followed. Somehow that really helped. It was nice to remember her as we remembered her, rather than reflect on the last few week of medical hell at the end of her life. Maybe it will be the same for your family?

slothiegal · June 2014

So very sorry for your loss. Sending lots of love to you and your family.

pinkcow13 · June 2014

I'm so sorry to hear this, JC. The PP's covered it all with their suggestions. How is FI holding up?

EverAfer · June 2014

I'm really sorry for your loss!

Picking up groceries, dropping off food, helping to keep the house clean, walking the dogs or any kind of errand would be good. I would give them lots of hugs too and pick up some extra Kleenex!

KatieinBkln · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss! It sounds like you have the right idea on how to be most helpful to the family, and PPs have great suggestions, too. You are so kind to be thinking of concrete ways to help--I'm sure they're very grateful to have you in their lives!

sarawifenow · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is so so hard.

Request for Ts & Ps please (sad update)

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