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Wedding Etiquette Forum
LuluP82
member
S/O cash bars monster...
So, I posted this in the thread but it probably got lost.
If you're offended by a cash bar, would it bother you even more if the words cash bar were on the invite?
If you're not offended by a cash bar, then are you okay with the words cash bar on the invite?
And if you're having a cash bar because you don't care about hosting etiquette and think your friends and family don't care and no one will talk about you behind your back, then why are concerned about the invite saying cash bar on it?
I'm honestly confused.
In my view, you either care about etiquette or you don't, and if you don't, then why ask the question?
If you're offended by a cash bar, would it bother you even more if the words cash bar were on the invite?
If you're not offended by a cash bar, then are you okay with the words cash bar on the invite?
And if you're having a cash bar because you don't care about hosting etiquette and think your friends and family don't care and no one will talk about you behind your back, then why are concerned about the invite saying cash bar on it?
I'm honestly confused.
In my view, you either care about etiquette or you don't, and if you don't, then why ask the question?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: S/O cash bars monster...
[QUOTE]So, I posted this in the thread but it probably got lost. <strong>If you're offended by a cash bar, would it bother you even more if the words cash bar were on the invite?</strong> If you're not offended by a cash bar, then are you okay with the words cash bar on the invite? And if you're having a cash bar because you don't care about hosting etiquette and think your friends and family don't care and no one will talk about you behind your back, then why are concerned about the invite saying cash bar on it? I'm honestly confused. In my view, you either care about etiquette or you don't, and if you don't, then why ask the question?
Posted by LuluP82[/QUOTE]
So... there are varying degrees, IMO, of cash bar rudeness. I'm not particularly put out by people hosting a limited bar. (Not like "just during cocktail hour" but I mean like just beer and wine, or even select types of beer and wine.) Oftentimes if you're having your event at a hotel or restaurant, they CAN technically make a mixed drink or a premium cocktail. And someone CAN technically ask the bartender about it and then agree to forego the free stuff and pay for it. But I think advertising that someone has to pay for something is uncouth. Which is why I would favor a sign with what's being hosted if it's very limited. But I wouldn't put something like, "everything else available for purchase." Because to me, it's kind of like not pointed out who isn't invited, right? Try not to make people think about what you aren't providing for them.
40/112
[QUOTE]Just because you aren't offended by cash bars doesn't mean that you should put it on the invite. I'm not offended by registries, but they still don't go on the invite....why would cash bars go on there?
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]
<div>I don't really think these are comparable. Registries don't go on the invite because it's presumptuous. Putting a cash bar on the invite is a way of letting the guests know what to expect so that they can prepare if they like.</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O cash bars monster... : I don't really think these are comparable. Registries don't go on the invite because it's presumptuous. Putting a cash bar on the invite is a way of letting the guests know what to expect so that they can prepare if they like.
Posted by SilverLining1[/QUOTE]
That's true, but for some reason, I just feel that information is better spread by word of mouth or websites.
I guess most people would do it word of mouth or website but there are some people who will not find out that way.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O cash bars monster... : That's true, but for some reason, I just feel that information is better spread by word of mouth or websites.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]
<div>I agree, the invite would be a weird place to put it. I'd rather find out that way than not at all, though. I'd probably look twice at it, but it wouldn't really matter to me.</div>
Maybe this is presumptuous, but I think people assume "open bar" if nothing is stated otherwise.
And sorry for starting another thread to those who were so bothered by this one. Of course, you don't have to open threads about cash bars if you're sick of them. I click on lots of threads that don't sound interesting to me.
[QUOTE]Cash bars are frowned upon in my social circle, but I would actually prefer it to be listed on the invitation if it were going to be one. No one really carries cash around, and especially not to a wedding. So I would be even more put off if I was expecting an open bar and then found out it was a cash bar but didn't have any cash. <strong>Maybe this is presumptuous, but I think people assume "open bar" if nothing is stated otherwise</strong>.
Posted by jaycee7389[/QUOTE]
Yeah, this is presumptious. I've only been to 2 hosted bars weddings in my life (one was only beer/wine) so I always assume it's a cash bar. Different strokes for different folks I suppose....
As much as I would like to pay for people to get soused at my wedding, it's a wedding and not a bar. Booze does not = a requirement for a celebration. If people are offended that I'm not spending thousands of dollars on their drinks they I guess they just don't have to have drinks!
I would rather someone find a way to let the guests know if it was a cash bar ahead of time.
[QUOTE]here everyone has a cash bar and I HATE it when people use the argument: "if you went to xyz's house you wouldn't pay for your drink". Actually if I go to a friends for some drinks I bring my wine. If they come here they bring their beer. As much as I would like to pay for people to get soused at my wedding, it's a wedding and not a bar. Booze does not = a requirement for a celebration. If people are offended that I'm not spending thousands of dollars on their drinks they I guess they just don't have to have drinks!
Posted by bridezillatobe2009[/QUOTE]
My exact thoughts as well. I refuse to go into debt so people can get hammered at my wedding.
FYI-we are having a backyard wedding so it will obviously be "open bar" with the alcohol provided by us, but if I was getting married in a hall/hotel/expensive venue, it would most definitely be cash bar.
And if the guests don't like it, then they don't have to drink alcohol.
"Give them smaller gift so I can bring $$ for the bar"
but I've never been to a wedding with a cash bar
Planning Bio
Only thing that irks me is when you don't let me know there is a cash bar. I have only been to dry receptions and cash bars but I feel I should know. I have no issue with it in on the invite or spread word of mouth. Just if you opt for word of mouth make sure the word gets out.
[QUOTE]In my hair-brained opinion....the words "cash bar" on the invite make me think "Give them smaller gift so I can bring $$ for the bar" but I've never been to a wedding with a cash bar
Posted by Amynutrition[/QUOTE]
And I find that to be a completely reasonable way of thinking. If you would normally give $150, give $100. I'm sure the B&G wouldnt think twice about it.