Second Wedding (to the same groom) do you bring a gift?

tlc9615 · June 2014

Hi All- I am pretty new to all of this but figured you might be able to help out. I was invited to a wedding at the end of next month where the bride and groom got married 5 years ago, divorced 2 years ago, and are now re-marrying. I obviously brought a gift with me to their first wedding. Am I expected to do so for the second? Thanks in advance for your input

manateehugger · June 2014

I personally probably would go with a nice card.

You're never required to show up with a gift for any wedding (first, second, etc.).

STARMOON44 · June 2014

I would get a card.

Jen4948 · June 2014

I'd give a nice card.

alpacalunch · June 2014

This is a new one.

I really don't know the accepted etiquette for this. I don't. I'd likely go with my gut. Like PPs, I'd probably bring a card, but if you want to get them a gift, go for it. It's wonderful that they were able to reconcile to the point of remarriage, yay for them.

Not that it was asked, I would side-eye a shower. Not sure if I'm alone in that. But they had a household (started with a shower), then separated those items, and are now bringing them back together. I don't know. I just.... Yeah.

This hurts my brain.

MNVegas · June 2014

Agree with others. I would bring a nice card.

gothic_fairy60 · June 2014

I agree with the card.

NYCMercedes · June 2014

It's totally up to you. If you want to give them a gift, do so. If you don't want to, then a note of well-wishes is appropriate.

AddieCake · June 2014

I would bring a gift simply b/c I just always bring a gift. Did they register?

LDay2014 · June 2014

I'd sort of look at this like a vow renewal...It's not like they each have 1/2 a household after a divorce, they have everything still.

A nice card of congratulations would be my call

RissAnn1970 · June 2014

I'd never show up without a gift. It might not be the $200-250 I gave at the first wedding, but likely $100 or so.

loveislouder · June 2014

Or like, even a gift card to a nice restaurant if you're feeling generous.

climbingsingle · June 2014

I'd probably give them a gift card.

jdluvr06 · June 2014

I would probably give a nice card and some money,

tlc9615 · June 2014

Thanks for all of your input! I appreciate it.

Simply Fated · June 2014

I agree, I'd bring a card. Depending on who it was, I might throw in a check for $32 or a gift card or something.

tlc9615 · June 2014

Just out of curiosity why $32?

Simply Fated · June 2014

tlc9615 said:
Just out of curiosity why $32?

18 is a lucky number in Jewish tradition. So, denominations of $18 and $32 are popular at events like vow renewals, birthdays, bar/bat mitzvahs, graduations etc.
Even some of my Catholic friends, growing up in a fabulously mixed religion area, are in on this tradition lol.

Jen4948 · June 2014

Simply Fated said:

Just out of curiosity why $32?
18 is a lucky number in Jewish tradition. So, denominations of $18 and $32 are popular at events like vow renewals, birthdays, bar/bat mitzvahs, graduations etc. Even some of my Catholic friends, growing up in a fabulously mixed religion area, are in on this tradition lol.

Do you mean 36 (18x2) ?

RissAnn1970 · June 2014

LOL, she means 36.

tlc9615 · June 2014

I never knew that! I learned something new today... Thanks

photokitty · June 2014

If I was going tot he wedding and being hosted properly hosted with a reception, I would definitely get a gift. If I received an announcement of remarriage I would send a card, maybe a small gift, but for sure a nice card.

offensivekitten2 · June 2014

Sounds like a good occasion to gift a nice bottle of wine.

Simply Fated · June 2014

lol yeah I meant 36.

Nymeru · June 2014

I don't think a present is necessary at all. Maybe a card, or if you're feeling very generous, a gift card or some sort of date-night present (a nice bottle of wine, etc.) would be nice.

ashleyep · June 2014

Am I being judgy to wonder why they're having a big wedding? It's going to be most of the same people as the last time. I feel like if I already had a wedding with that person, I would just go to city hall the second time.

yogablossom · June 2014

@ashleyep--ditto! Or I'd just haul ass down to some tropical place with my significant other and tie the knot on a beach there just the two of us.

Fairyjen1 · June 2014

Gifts are never mandatory so give one if you feel like or not if you don't. I'd probably give a gift card to a restaurant the couple liked. I would figure a reconciliation to the point where they re-marry deserves a nice dinner out

that's just me though.

I have some friends in this situation now. Divorced, reconciled and are talking re-marriage. I know they are just planning to go to the county clerks office though and aren't inviting anyone. I will probably send a congrats card and a gift card to a restaurant because they are both good friends of mine and I'm happy they are back together, either that or FI and I will take them out soon afterwards to celebrate.

thelastdreamer · June 2014

I'd still get them a gift. I mean it just depends on the circumstances. I know a lot of people who really clear/get rid of a lot of their items when they divorce, especially if they both moved out their home, etc. So I wouldn't even side eye registering. I think it's lovely they're having a wedding - reconciling to that extent is really beautiful and IMO it's totally acceptable to have a big celebration if that's what they desire.

KickAssMOH · June 2014

I have a coworker who is doing the same thing - remarrying her ex husband after a few years of divorce. They lost alot of money on the sale of their home together and had several posessions taken by family members when they got divorced. I do hope/assume that they get some nice gifts, but I do not think she registered or is having a shower of any type.

wrigleyville · June 2014

Eh, I wouldn't judge a big wedding the second time around. They're obviously happy to have their issues resolved and want to celebrate accordingly. I never turn down a free dinner with dancing.

As long as everyone is hosted properly, this doesn't chafe me one bit.

I'd probably bring a gift card for a local restaurant or something similar, depending on their interests. It would depend on how close I am to the couple, though. If we aren't that close, then I'd just bring a nice card.

Second Wedding (to the same groom) do you bring a gift?

Re: Second Wedding (to the same groom) do you bring a gift?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards