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Blind First Look VS. Actual First Look

falsarafalsara Northside of Chicago
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Ok I need some help.  I brought up the idea of a First Look with my FI a couple days ago, and at the end of our conversation he told me he doesn't care if he sees me before the ceremony but he wants to at least talk to me, hold my hand at calm down a bit. 

I  know a lot of people who do the whole hold hands around a corner and not see each other but still talk to each other, I think someone called it a "blind first look".  I know a lot of people who have done actual first looks and really love it, but I also know people who are really excited to see their FI's face at the end of the aisle when he sees you for the first time. 

I thought the idea of a "blind" first look was a great way to compromise.  I definitely want to be able to talk to him for a little bit before the ceremony, so I can hear his voice, hold his hand and really calm my nerves, also I want to make sure he shows up. LOL

I wish he would just tell me weather or not he wants to see me before the ceremony.  URGH. Men, sometimes.

Now that I don't know which one he want's I'm having a hard time figuring out which one I want.  If we spend some time just talking but not seeing each other, we still get some moments together to calm down and he still gets that WOW factor when I walk down the aisle.  If we do a full First Look, we get actual time together and from what I've read from those who have done a FL we still get a WOW moment. 

I really don't know and since He doesn't know either I am opening up my dilemma for outside input.

Thanks in advance for the help, and sorry its so long.



                                           

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Re: Blind First Look VS. Actual First Look

  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    edited May 2014
    I'm a first look fan. We did it and I am so happy...we have awesome photos and had a great time together alone on an otherwise hectic and busy day.

    -You get the WOW moment on film standing next to each other so you are both in the photo vs a photo of him alone at the end of the aisle smiling
    -Saves on time, not need for a rude gap between the ceremony and reception
    -Time alone (with photogs) having fun and calm in your nerves
    -Doubles your chance of good weather
    -You can knock out all those wedding party and family posed photos some everyone can get a drink/ food and relax sooner

    I think a blind look is silly. I think it would just make me more anxious. I would want to see the groom. Talking around a corner would just make me more nervous and build up my expectations even more. I would have been a lot more likely to start crying during a blind look IMHO, then my makeup is messed up right before the ceremony and in all the photos.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    jenna8984
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!)
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I like the first look.  We did it.  We have really great pictures with the surprise expression at the first look.  We were able to calm our nerves down a bit.  And we were able to take most of our photos before the ceremony.  Because of this, we were able to attend our own cocktail hour (which to me is one of my favorite part of a wedding!)
    jenna8984
  • emmyg65emmyg65
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
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    Pretend I wrote what Photokitty wrote. We did a first look and loved it, mostly because it allowed us to  chill out and relax, and we could get all our photos done before our guests even arrived. I don't get the blind look, and I think it'd be stressful trying not to see each other.
    jenna8984
  • I agree with everything PPs said.

    Additionally, we had over an hour scheduled for our first look.  So we have a ton of pictures of just H and I.  None of my IRL friends did a first look and when they've shown me their wedding photos they have maybe 10-20 posed, fairly boring bride and groom photos from the family formal session.  We have over 100 of just the two of us wandering around our venue, in a variety of poses.  Some of our favorite photos came out of this time.  We sacrificed getting ready photos (photog showed up as I was getting in my dress) in order to have a generous first look.  It was the right decision for us.
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!)
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Ven&Radio said:
    I agree with everything PPs said.

    Additionally, we had over an hour scheduled for our first look.  So we have a ton of pictures of just H and I.  None of my IRL friends did a first look and when they've shown me their wedding photos they have maybe 10-20 posed, fairly boring bride and groom photos from the family formal session.  We have over 100 of just the two of us wandering around our venue, in a variety of poses.  Some of our favorite photos came out of this time.  We sacrificed getting ready photos (photog showed up as I was getting in my dress) in order to have a generous first look.  It was the right decision for us.
    We didn't have many getting ready photos either.  Let's face it, a pic with my hair in a state of disarray or my makeup half done is not going to make the photo album or a framed picture.  They're just not flattering.  But you can bet that the first look pics are in our album!
  • JoanE2012 said:
    Ven&Radio said:
    I agree with everything PPs said.

    Additionally, we had over an hour scheduled for our first look.  So we have a ton of pictures of just H and I.  None of my IRL friends did a first look and when they've shown me their wedding photos they have maybe 10-20 posed, fairly boring bride and groom photos from the family formal session.  We have over 100 of just the two of us wandering around our venue, in a variety of poses.  Some of our favorite photos came out of this time.  We sacrificed getting ready photos (photog showed up as I was getting in my dress) in order to have a generous first look.  It was the right decision for us.
    We didn't have many getting ready photos either.  Let's face it, a pic with my hair in a state of disarray or my makeup half done is not going to make the photo album or a framed picture.  They're just not flattering.  But you can bet that the first look pics are in our album!
    That's exactly how I felt about it too!  I really don't need to remember the very comfortable, but very unflattering, clothes I wore while getting my hair and makeup done either.
    JoanE2012
  • emmyg65emmyg65
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
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    Yep, we skipped getting ready photos as well. Those photos are never that great and I just wanted to be able to relax with my best friend without worrying about looking photogenic or whatever.
    JoanE2012
  • I think when he says he doesn't care if he actually "sees" you or not he really means it. So don't worry about figuring out what he really wants to do. You just need to figure out what "you" want to do. I'm like you in that I start second guessing everything, and see the benefits to both sides and in doing so make it impossible to pick. But I can guarantee that because of this whatever you pick you will be happy with. I did the whole "seeing each other for the first time walking down the isle" and loved it! But I bet if I had picked the other way I would also be saying i loved it today
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  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    I think when he says he doesn't care if he actually "sees" you or not he really means it. So don't worry about figuring out what he really wants to do. You just need to figure out what "you" want to do. I'm like you in that I start second guessing everything, and see the benefits to both sides and in doing so make it impossible to pick. But I can guarantee that because of this whatever you pick you will be happy with. I did the whole "seeing each other for the first time walking down the isle" and loved it! But I bet if I had picked the other way I would also be saying i loved it today
    I think this is a good point and is true in most cases. I have never heard anyone say they regretted doing a first look.

    I have heard people say they wished they had - not enough time for photos. it was raining after, but not before. didn't get to go to any off site locations. etc.

    I did a first look bc it was my second wedding and I wished I had done a first look after my first wedding. We had a tornado come through and didn't get any outdoor photos after the ceremony. I regretted not having more photos.

    GL! :)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • I was wondering about this! I am torn between the first look and the aisle. I want to have plenty of pictures with my FI and would love to not be rushed to fiT them in as quick as could between the ceremony and reception. I also know I am going to be a mess that day regardless( helpless romantic and very emotional) so I am now leaning more toward the first look. That way I can get most of the emotions out. But that does mean giving up the aisle look. I am going to talk to my FI and see which one he might want to do.

  • Go for the blind first look, but have your photographer there. I have seen some amazing photos of couples holding hands around the corner in a private area before the ceremony. Sometimes couples like to say a prayer together before that final big public I do. Also, with having the photographer there, if you do decide at the last moment to turn it into an actual first look, then they are there to capture that moment.
  • I'm torn on the first look thing too!  Still don't know what I'll do. But I get the vibe from several pictures I see from first looks that it's kind of awkward. You just tap him on the shoulder and he turns around and looks at you like "oh, isn't that special?" as if you are shopping in the mall and showing him an outfit you just tried on. I dunno.... 
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  • Erikan73 said:
    Go for the blind first look, but have your photographer there. I have seen some amazing photos of couples holding hands around the corner in a private area before the ceremony. Sometimes couples like to say a prayer together before that final big public I do. Also, with having the photographer there, if you do decide at the last moment to turn it into an actual first look, then they are there to capture that moment.
    This is a cool idea I've never thought of. It might be more natural that way!
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