The cheating discussion got me thinking about a discussion in a seminary class years ago. We were discussing forgiveness. The teacher and most of my classmates agreed that in order to truely forgive someone you must give them your trust again. I strongly disagree with that. In some cases I would trust them again. But let's say I ask Jane to watch my dog while I go on vacation. Jane poisons my dog while I'm away. I would probably forgive her after a while. But I'm not going to trust her to watch a dog again.
Re: Forgiveness Equals Trust
I don't think that forgiveness means carrying on like it never happened, especially in the case of cheating. I think that's something best decided between a couple and a qualified counselor, because there's no one right answer for everyone. If my FI cheated, I could find it in my heart to forgive him, but not to go ahead and marry him after that.
I'm the fuck out.