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What should my gay friend be invited to?

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Re: What should my gay friend be invited to?

  • iloveotters2014iloveotters2014 member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    oh my. Now that OP went off the deep end I'm starting to re-think my post :/

    Yes I think a few people were SLIGHTLY harsh with you. But you chose to go batshit crazy back. Not cool.

    I also think the even sides thing is weird personally. I also think that people dont have to walk together in a wedding party. But I initially chose to just comment on the question.
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  • NavyBlue143NavyBlue143 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    Yeah I had a man on my side, 3 people total, while H had two men on his side. They all walked the processional single file, groomsmen first, groom and his mom, then my brother and mom, the my wedding party, then me and dad. For the recessional, they went out single file, alternating my side, then his, then mine, etc. It was a complete non issue. Nobody got same sex cooties on them by walking next to a person who shared their gender.
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  • doeydodoeydo member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It's sad that some people let what is in between their loved ones' legs determine whether or not they stand up with them on their wedding day.  OP, if you come back and read this, PPs were actually trying to help you, to make you realize that there are other options and that you can involve your good friend. regardless of his gender. 
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  • slothiegalslothiegal member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    luckysnorkel said:
    Putting aside the sexuality thing for a second --
    My brother is my Man of Honor.  If my FI didn't want him in the wedding party because he'd have to walk down the aisle next to one of his groomsman, then we probably wouldn't have a wedding to plan after all.
    I went to "love" this, only to realize I had already done so earlier in the day.  Bloop.  Double love.
    Anniversary

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  • melbensomelbenso member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    To anything you would invite any close friend to.

    And wedding parties don't have to have even numbers of men and women. If he's your best friend, make him your Man of Honor if you want. (I've got one.) Male and female sides is a rule that's made to be broken. The people you love most should be standing with you at your wedding. Male or Female. Gay, straight, bi, trans, queer. It doesn't matter.
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  • offensivekitten2offensivekitten2 member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    What's up with all the brides recently treating their homosexual friends and family like freaks? Really, not letting him stand up with you because your FI has weird homophobia hangups? Really?



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  • doeydodoeydo member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    beethery said:
    offensivekitten2 said:
    What's up with all the brides recently treating their homosexual friends and family like freaks? Really, not letting him stand up with you because your FI has weird homophobia hangups? Really?
    Gay accessory syndrome.
    GBF
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  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer

    One of my besties recently dealt with the same issue of whether to invite her two close male friends to her bridal shower. Her concern was that she didn't want to insinuate to them that she viewed them as girlfriends, when in fact they are gay men who enjoy spending time with and are very close to a large group of women. She personally called them both right before I (as her BM) was set to send out the invites, and said something like, "Hey, my friends are throwing me a bridal shower and I wanted to invite you, what do you think?" They both told her they were excited/pumped/honored to be invited so it was totally a non-issue. But I'm sure they appreciated the call. You guys are close so you should just give him a call and ask what he'd prefer! :)

    It's not about having "issues" with his sexual orientation, you are clearly just wanting to be respectful of his comfort and feelings, and sometimes it's not always super clear what the best way to do that is!

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  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    edited June 2014

    Also, not every single gay man I know wants to be "one of the girls" and not every one would be cool with being invited to a bridal shower, where there only women and one or two gay men in attendance. It's more complicated than that for some, and for others it isn't.

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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    jenijoyk said:
    Also, holy sh!*balls @QueerFemme, my best friend's mom is in your wedding photo! Well, that's random! Small. World.

    HAHAHAHAH!!  Who is your best friend's mom!   Is she in our mariachi band? 

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    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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  • April192002April192002 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary

    For walking down the aisle:

    1.You could have the party walk one by one.

    2. Have the Best Man walk alone, groomsmen follow in pairs. Have the MOH walk alone and the bridesmaids/man walk in pairs (if you have an even number on your side, you can have the 2 or 4 of them walk in pairs without sending 1 alone).

    3. Have the groomsmen up front, not walking down the aisle, and just the bridesmaids/man walk.

    4. Have all of the males up front and only the females walk (that's what my sister did).

     

    What to invite him to: Anything you want. I would say, as a guest, I might be a little 'what the hell'-ish if I attended an all female function with 1 single male there BUT if he is part of the bridal party and the bridal party is hosting, he should totally be there! Totally assuming he wants to be.

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  • ashley8918ashley8918 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    luckysnorkel said:
    Putting aside the sexuality thing for a second --
    My brother is my Man of Honor.  If my FI didn't want him in the wedding party because he'd have to walk down the aisle next to one of his groomsman, then we probably wouldn't have a wedding to plan after all.
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  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    Hahahaha. Love it. They look amazing! Awesome photo.
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  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited June 2014
    I hate the idea of best gay friend. Why can't he just be your best friend who happens to be gay?


    It's really not progressive. I will comment on the gay best friend thing because I feel that you need to be educated about it. I don't care if you want support. I'm not here to kiss ya cheeks.
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