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Your 3-5 biggest "what not to do"s

melissamusicmelissamusic member
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in Snarky Brides
Just to make this more interesting and eliminate all the duplicate answers, let's exclude the obvious: honeyfunds, B-lists, cash bars, registry cards in the invite, dollar dances, and an insufficient amount of food for the time of day/number of people. 

Other than those big things that everyone here seems to agree are no-nos, what are your 3 (or more, if you're feeling ranty) top wedding pet peeves? Could be etiquette-related, style related (like if you're sick of burlap and mason jars), food related, music related, dress related...anything. What should those of us mid-planning avoid?
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Re: Your 3-5 biggest "what not to do"s

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    ElcaBElcaB member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    1. Mermaid dresses.
    2. Bad food. 
    3. Dance floor monograms. 
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    slothiegalslothiegal member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    1.  Aisle runners with your names on it

    2.  Poor table seating (ie the last wedding I went to, I didn't know ANYONE at my table and they were all college friends)

    3.  Garter tossess.  Hate hate hate.
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    loveislouderloveislouder member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    1. Tiered receptions
    2. Not enough seating
    3. GAPS.
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    Marzipan13Marzipan13 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    1. Burlap, mason jars, and most Pinterest shit (I understand not everyone is Michaelangelo-status creative, but come on.)
    2. Meaningless favors, or favors-for-the-sake-of-favors 
    3. Poorly-done, overdone, or immature wedding themes
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    ashleyepashleyep member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    ElcaB said:
    1. Mermaid dresses.
    2. Bad food. 
    3. Dance floor monograms. 
    I have a monogram accidentally. For some reason I thought it had something to do with the photobooth they offered so I was like "yea sure, whatever." I had already paid for it before I realized what it was.
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    jenna8984jenna8984 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    1. Scheduling a cocktail hour for your pictures but then actually taking 2.5 hours taking pictures. Yes this happened at a wedding I attended.

    2. No food options. I know it's technically not against etiquette but it's just nice to chose what you want instead of being handed a plate of chicken and potatoes.

    3. Choreographed dances like Cupid's Shuffle/ Macarena/ Conga line

    4. Inconvenient time or day. Again not against etiquette but don't expect me to show up at 4pm on Thursday.

                                                                     

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    beetherybeethery member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    1. Dollar Dance
    2. Not having enough food
    3. Not at least saying hi to your guests
    4. Money jars
    5. Garter toss
    --

    I'm the fuck     out.

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    arrippaarrippa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    1. A really long receiving line.

    2. Playing the shoe game or any games at all.

    3. Starting my wedding late.

     

     

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    beachyone15beachyone15 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    1. "Rustic" 2. Great Gatsby inspired 3. Posting all about your wedding on social media 4. Bouquet toss (and forcing people to participate) 5. Ceremonies that end up running way behind
    This is a good one!


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    pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    arrippa said:

    1. A really long receiving line.

    2. Playing the shoe game or any games at all.

    3. Starting my wedding late.

     

     

    What is the shoe game? FMIL asked my MOH to think of fun games to play at our engagement party. Thankfully my MOH knows me too well to have done this.

    1. Bride and Groom who don't make any effort to interact with their guests. This happened purposely at a recent wedding (I know because my friend said she was having a sweetheart table because she couldn't be bothered to mingle with the guests).

    2. Having someone walk around collecting the cards, or the bride/groom doing table visits while carrying a small sack for the cards.

    3. Bridal Party doing a choreographed dance routine.
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    MollyandDMollyandD member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    These aren't my pet peeves for everything, they are just definite "not to do" things for my own wedding. 
    1. Garter and bouquet toss
    2. Toasts 
    3. Promise to obey during the vows

    For weddings in general, mine or someone else's, here are things I don't like:
    1. Gaps- I was at one recently in which the ceremony and reception were in the same location. We weren't allowed to eat until the bride and groom finished pictures. Luckily, I had chips in my car for just such an occasion, so my fiancé and I went to the car for about 45 minutes to snack.
    2. Being called out if I don't want to go up for the bouquet toss
    3. DJ's stopping the music or turning it down low in an effort to get people to sing the words- I was very clear that I did not want the DJ messing up a good song by turning the volume down to try to get people to sing along. 
    4. Line dances
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    kat1114kat1114 member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    1) Random vintage crap everywhere. 
    2) Stupid cutsey signs.
    3) Posting updates about your wedding planning to social media.
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    emmaaaemmaaa mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    1. Making me work for my plate; moving chairs.
    2. Stupid, cutesy poems to make up for rude behavior; asking to put phones away, asking for cash.
    3. "Boho chic"

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    arrippaarrippa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    pinkcow13 said:
    arrippa said:

    1. A really long receiving line.

    2. Playing the shoe game or any games at all.

    3. Starting my wedding late.

     

     

    What is the shoe game? FMIL asked my MOH to think of fun games to play at our engagement party. Thankfully my MOH knows me too well to have done this.

    1. Bride and Groom who don't make any effort to interact with their guests. This happened purposely at a recent wedding (I know because my friend said she was having a sweetheart table because she couldn't be bothered to mingle with the guests).

    2. Having someone walk around collecting the cards, or the bride/groom doing table visits while carrying a small sack for the cards.

    3. Bridal Party doing a choreographed dance routine.

    The shoe game was played at a wedding I attended a year ago.  During the reception the bride and groom sat back to back and traded shoes. They were asked a series of questions and they would hold up the shoe of the person (bride or groom) that was the best answer to the question.

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    tammym1001tammym1001 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    1. Partially assigned tables - either do a seating chart or don't do one. I spent 10 minutes looking for my name on multiple charts before someone told me that only family had tables and friends had to just pick a seat. By the time I found out we were stuck at a table with people we didn't know and it was outside (bride and groom and almost everyone else were inside, but they were short a few tables so us unimportant people missed everything).

    2. Choreographed dances make me extremely uncomfortable. I don't know why, but I feel embarrassed for the people doing them.

    3. Being asked to do some sort of labor (usually cut and serve the cake) during the wedding. If you ask me before hand then fine we can talk about it, but don't put me on the spot and ask me to do something like that, especially when I'm already 3 or 4 drinks in.
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    manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    1. The bride or groom being in a bad mood. Seriously, if you got married and your venue isn't burning down and you aren't deathly ill, have a good time at your own freaking wedding. I can't stand when the couple are the party poopers. Go dance! If you aren't dancers, at least mill about the room with a drink (or seven) in your hand.

    2. No water on the tables. I love you for having an open bar, but seriously, give me a freaking water glass on my table so I don't have to go up to the bar and wait in line for WATER.

    3. Non-natural colored flowers. Sorry, I think they're fake-looking and unattractive.

    4. Wedding party dances - super awkward. I know half the people didn't want to do it and was forced to rehearse and the other half is well on their way to being blackedout. They aren't that cute and no one cares. Just dance with your friends like every other night out.

    5. Self-written vows (disclaimer - I know some people write very very nice vows, that are actually vows and not poorly-written love-letters). I'm sorry, you wanted to be unique and non-traditional, but you still started with "From the first day I met you at suchandsuch place," stopped in the middle for "you are my best and closet friend," and ended with "I'll love you forever" like everyone else who has bored their guests during the ceremony.

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    goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    1) Joking during vows.  Haw haw I promise to pick up all your socks.  I dunno, vows are a serious time, they should be serious.  

    2) Dance routines.  They make me uncomfortable.

    3)  When cake gets smooshed in the face.  All I can think about is her poor makeup and hair and dress and now there's freakin' cake on it.  And the groom has to return that tux!

    4) When people are forced to participate in things, like garter tosses and bouquet tosses and dollar dances.  That's awkward.

    5) Throwing rice.  Gah, rice everywhere.  
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    NymeruNymeru member
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    1) Dyed flowers

    2) Having each bridal party member have their own exclusive dance to perform before the dance floor is open to the rest of us

    3) No table numbers present.  I HATE when the DJ starts calling tables up to get food, etc. but there are no identifying characteristics on the tables.  The whole room starts looking around awkwardly, not wanting to be the first "selfish" table to get food.

    4) Non-stop slow, love songs.  I want to DANCE, I don't want romantic mood music for the majority of the night.

    5) Being ditched with other people's kids.  Hire a babysitter.  Don't just designate someone who is a guest to watch the kids "for a little bit".  No one wants to run herd at a wedding.
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    kerbohlkerbohl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Fun topic!
    Some of the ones on here I sort of enjoy though - we did the shoe game for the morning after the wedding for my brother, mostly because my mom loves it and it made her happy.  So I get why its boring, but I like seeing my mom happy . . .
    1.  Garter tosses and bouquet tosses that point out all the single people.  Just let everyone join in if you absolutely most do them. 
    2.  Bad dance music.  I can't stand dancing as it is, please don't force me to dance to music I also hate.  Especially if it is blaring loud and I can't converse with fellow guests over it without screaming. 
    3.  Going overboard.  I admit I was guilty of this - when I first starting planning, I thought I would do lots of things at my wedding that people would notice and love.  Halfway through I began to realize I was wasting time and money because there are only so many things you need to keep a wedding special and please your guests.  Sometimes simplicity is better.  Cutesy signs and poems everywhere, spending forever on dance routines, spending days designing a coat of arms (yes, thank you FI it was sweet, but not worth that many hours of your life), all that stuff can make wedding planning worse and not get noticed on the day of. 

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    Marzipan13Marzipan13 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    Nymeru said: 1) Dyed flowers

    2) Having each bridal party member have their own exclusive dance to perform before the dance floor is open to the rest of us

    3) No table numbers present.  I HATE when the DJ starts calling tables up to get food, etc. but there are no identifying characteristics on the tables.  The whole room starts looking around awkwardly, not wanting to be the first "selfish" table to get food.

    4) Non-stop slow, love songs.  I want to DANCE, I don't want romantic mood music for the majority of the night.

    5) Being ditched with other people's kids.  Hire a babysitter.  Don't just designate someone who is a guest to watch the kids "for a little bit".  No one wants to run herd at a wedding.
    ---------------------etf: TK is eating everything today!!!!!!!---------------------------------------
     Oppositely, I     HATE when the DJ plays college rager music, or club music, or homecoming music all night, without any slow songs.  I went to a wedding where this happened - it was awful.  They had other reception problems as well, but this was by far the most annoying. 
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2014
    1.  Huge wedding parties.  Are you trying to prove how many friends you have?

    2.  Small children used for cuteness factor. 

    3. Tuxedos in the daytime.  Ick!  Ugh!  Yuck!  Tuxedos are BLACK tie, not pink, powder blue, red, green, orange, lavender tie.

    4.  Cowboy boots, flip flops, or sneakers on anybody.

    5.  Huge, over the top budgets, with too much money spent on details that don't matter.  (8 limousines?  Oh, come, now!)
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    emmaaaemmaaa mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2014
    CMGragain said:
    1.  Huge wedding parties.  Are you trying to prove how many friends you have?

    2.  Small children used for cuteness factor. 

    3. Tuxedos in the daytime.  Ick!  Ugh!  Yuck!  Tuxedos are BLACK tie, not pink, powder blue, red, green, orange, lavender tie.

    4.  Cowboy boots, flip flops, or sneakers on anybody.

    5.  Gaps.
    I'm sorry but I don't agree with this. I have 8 BMs. They are all my friends and I couldn't imagine the day without them. I do understand it may seem AWish though..."look at me, I have sooo many friends."

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited June 2014
    1. Robes as bridesmaid gifts-especially if they're embroidered

    2. Too much contrived "cuteness" or "humor," whether from small kids who are being used for it, "cutely" worded signs or invitations, photo ops, or whatever

    3. Treating your guests like a captive audience during the reception

    4. Treating the wedding like a memorial service for deceased loved ones

    5. Treating the wedding like a cash cow-tip jars, cash bars, money dances, direct requests for cash as gifts
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    AlexisA01AlexisA01 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    1. People that post their registry everywhere....Social media especially
    2. This happened at my cousin's wedding :the entire music was gospel. Nobody wanted to dance because every body was feeling really awkward about the music.
    3.

    Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.

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