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Gift Registries - WWYD?

suburbanstepmomsuburbanstepmom member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

I am pretty clueless about wedding etiquette and normal procedures over all. I think I have probably attended three weddings in my entire life and they were all a very long time ago so I am not sure how some of these things work, so I am hoping you lovely folks can help my sad naive self!

Through reading the forums here, and having had a co-worker recently get married and heard her talking nonstop about it, I have gathered that it is generally a good idea to set up a wedding registry even if there isn't really anything you "need." FI and I have lived on our own for quite a while and don't really need any home things but there are throw pillows, appliances, area rugs, etc. that could use replacing so BAM, registry.

However ... in reading through these forums some more I have read that it's pretty tacky to put a note or card in with wedding invitations stating that you have set up a registry. You know, since it would be a "buy me this!" moment. I'd like to somehow get the word out to people that we did set one up, though, so they don't think we are just expecting them to bring money. Typically I feel uncomfortable with receiving any types of gifts (I am a giver, not a receiver...) but I would rather people not feel obligated to bring money.

Any advice on how to its best to let your guests know of their options in a non-tacky way? We have family and friends all over the US so I am worried word of mouth won’t cut it.

Thanks in advance, all! :)

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Re: Gift Registries - WWYD?

  • ashleyepashleyep member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    If you have a wedding website, you can put the link on there.

    If you're having a shower, the people throwing it for you would make a note of where you're registered on the invites - this is allowed because a shower is a gift giving event.

    Otherwise, you spread it by word of mouth. Guests generally know to look for a registry. They'll either check the obvious stores (Macy's, BBB, etc), google your name + registry, or ask you. No need to worry about getting the word out. It will get out.
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
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    You've got the right idea in registering for "upgrades," but don't register for anything you don't want or need. 

    Yes, do not put it anywhere in invitations (bridal shower invitations are the only exception to the rule). You don't need to "get the word out." Most people will assume you registered. 

    I google the bride's name for every invitation we get and the registry is usually one of the first results that pops up (make sure the registries are searchable). People can also go the old school way of asking you or one of your friends or family members via phone or in person. 
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  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
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    Some people put it on their wedding website and some ladies discourage that, but there doesn't seem to be a consensus on whether that is rude/tacky or not.  Tell your parents and then if people ask they can spread it by word of the mouth. If people don't ask, they may just google your names or bring cash. No big deal.

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  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
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    I think a link on a wedding website, with no "cutesy" tag line to go with it, is the best way to go now-a-days. 
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  • annathy03annathy03 member
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    I think they are fine to put on your wedding website as long it isn't the only thing on there- I'd only side eye it if the wedding website is basically a registry link.  If you have hotel blocks/recommendations, ceremony/reception information, shuttle information, etc it comes across as just one more piece of information your guests might find useful.

    But like PPs said, as long as your registry is searchable people are smart enough to either use google or go old school and ask you or a family member.
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  • suburbanstepmomsuburbanstepmom member
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    Ok, thanks everyone! We are registered at Target & Bed Bath and Beyond so they are very "searchable," but I was kind of worried about the older generations and their ability to utilize the Google. LOL

    I am going to skip putting the info anywhere (it's on our website, but so is all the location information and directions, hotel stuff, etc) and just go from there.

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  • mysticlmysticl member
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    MissMaeisbeforeJune said:

    Ok, thanks everyone! We are registered at Target & Bed Bath and Beyond so they are very "searchable," but I was kind of worried about the older generations and their ability to utilize the Google. LOL

    I am going to skip putting the info anywhere (it's on our website, but so is all the location information and directions, hotel stuff, etc) and just go from there.

    The older generation will ask you or your parents where you are registered.  
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    MissMaeisbeforeJune said:

    Ok, thanks everyone! We are registered at Target & Bed Bath and Beyond so they are very "searchable," but I was kind of worried about the older generations and their ability to utilize the Google. LOL

    I am going to skip putting the info anywhere (it's on our website, but so is all the location information and directions, hotel stuff, etc) and just go from there.

    This sounds perfect.  If the older generation is not comfortable with the computer, they will ask you or your parents.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
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    If people want to know, they will ask. Don't worry about it! 
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