Pre-wedding Parties

Shower invite- gift cards only??

It's been a while since I've been over here on the Knot- I am about to celebrate my 10th anniversary Aug. 1st. My SIL is getting married in October and she lives in Las Vegas and we are in Northern California. She is coming to visit and we would like to have a shower for her. She is traveling and can't bring too much back on the plane with her. Is there a way to ask for gift cards to the places she has registered or suggest that guests have the gifts they would buy ship them to her home and print out the item so that she knows what to expect? It seems strange to request what people give but it also seems impersonal to me but its really the only way we can celebrate her before the wedding. 
  Thanks!!

Re: Shower invite- gift cards only??

  • It's been a while since I've been over here on the Knot- I am about to celebrate my 10th anniversary Aug. 1st. My SIL is getting married in October and she lives in Las Vegas and we are in Northern California. She is coming to visit and we would like to have a shower for her. She is traveling and can't bring too much back on the plane with her. Is there a way to ask for gift cards to the places she has registered or suggest that guests have the gifts they would buy ship them to her home and print out the item so that she knows what to expect? It seems strange to request what people give but it also seems impersonal to me but its really the only way we can celebrate her before the wedding. 
      Thanks!!

    No and no. The whole purpose of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts. The highlight of the shower is watching her open all the gifts people have selected for her. You cannot ask for money (gift cards) from people. I suggest you have a luncheon to honor her if gifts are not going to work out for her.
  • So you want people to come watch her open cards with gift cards in them?  Yawn. Ditto NYCMercedes on just having a luncheon instead of a shower. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • No I do t want to just ask for gift cards- I was wondering if there was an alternative or a fun way to present the gift cards. We are expected to hold this for her and I don't want to be figuring out how to get the gifts to her home.
  • No I do t want to just ask for gift cards- I was wondering if there was an alternative or a fun way to present the gift cards. We are expected to hold this for her and I don't want to be figuring out how to get the gifts to her home.
    That is not your job to figure out.  If the bride knows she is being thrown a shower in another state and accepts said shower then it is her responsibility to figure out how to get gifts back home.  Also, most guests who know that she lives in another state will most likely buy her smaller gifts that she can fit into her suitcase.  If she is wise she will bring an extra suit case that she can put gifts in to get back home.

  • Congrats on your 10 year anniversary! 

    Wedding showers are for boxed gifts. And those gifts are opened at the shower. There is no polite way to ask people to give money/gift cards. It's a big etiquette no-no. And it's rude and super boring for guests to sit while she opens gift cards - no matter how "cute" or "creative" the packaging. Unfortunately, I can't endorse the gift card shower or give suggestions to improve it because it's against etiquette all around.

    If you do an etiquette friendly wedding shower, it is not your job to figure out how to get her presents to her house. Once she opens them, they are her's and her responsibility. You could help her take them to FedEx/UPS, but that's not even required. FedEx has good/cheap ground service. It takes longer but that goes with the territory of having a remote shower.

    If a wedding shower is too much hassle for her (too much hassle receiving presents!?!?), I would just do a luncheon with no gifts.
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