Dear Prudence,
I am a 28-year-old man who was recently involved in a physical altercation with a woman. I was walking down a crowded city street when I ran into a female friend who was in the middle of a heated, drunken argument with her girlfriend. I interrupted the argument to make sure my friend was OK. The girlfriend, already highly agitated, reacted very strongly to my interruption and began aggressively pushing and cursing at my friend. I shouted at the woman to stop, at which point she turned her aggression to me, attempting to strike and scratch me repeatedly. I am a small man and not aggressive, but physically fit and sober enough that I felt in no serious danger. I restrained the woman, pinning her arms behind her back to protect my face and lowering her to the ground to allow her to cool off. To my shock the crowd gathering on the street began shouting at me, with one witness accusing me of outright sexual assault and threatening to call the police. I immediately released the woman, and my friend and I removed ourselves from the situation. My friend was grateful, but I couldn’t help but feel queasy and ashamed for the next several days. I consider myself a feminist and would never intentionally harm a woman, but did I cross the line here? In a political climate where sexual assault and rape culture are frequently debated, what is the appropriate way to handle a physical altercation with a member of the opposite sex?