My MOH hated the box

soontobemrshamilton · July 2014

I took her out to dinner and gave her a box with a little note asking if she'll be my MOH.

She thought it was childish and immature, she felt pressured to say yes, she was scared I was going to make her do all these Pinterest things and that my wedding was a HUGE deal.

I'm devastated. I should have listened to all you ladies!!!

NOT, she fucking loved it. She cried, I cried and we had an awesome night!!!

chibiyui · July 2014

soontobemrshamilton said:
I took her out to dinner and gave her a box with a little note asking if she'll be my MOH.

She thought it was childish and immature, she felt pressured to say yes, she was scared I was going to make her do all these Pinterest things and that my wedding was a HUGE deal.

I'm devastated. I should have listened to all you ladies!!!

NOT, she fucking loved it. She cried, I cried and we had an awesome night!!!

Good for you?

AddieCake · July 2014

So you posted to tell people your box plan, juvenilely made a crude and insulting joke about another poster's mother, and are now following up with a nanny nanny boo boo post? Cool.

beethery · July 2014

Goody gumdrops.

misshart00 · July 2014

You still never answered Addie on what kind of box it is.

holyguacamole79 · July 2014

I'm SO glad you came back to tell us. I've been sitting on pins and needles. Oh, and my mom says hi.

JasperandOpal · July 2014

I think the issue here is that you seemed to be soliciting advice in your other post as to whether other people on the knot thought giving a box was a good idea. Obviously, you know your friend better than anyone here does and you could properly assess the situation. You were pretty sure that she would like it, but not sure enough to go ahead with the plan without checking in with a bunch of strangers. The bunch of strangers do not know your friend. They therefore can only assess the situation through generalizations and personal experience.

The fact that you were unsure enough as to whether she would like it to post the question to these strangers signaled to a lot of them that it might not be a good idea. Combine that with the fact that a lot of us have seen first hand or heard second hand how the described event can go badly or place undue pressure on the person in question and you get the resulting opinions in the other post.

You know your friend better. It turns out you were right and she liked the box. That is fantastic news and I am glad that you and your MOH are happy and excited. This is an exciting time. But you appeared to asked for advice, and people gave it based on their experiences, which is all anyone can do. You should not then berate people when their advice doesn't line up with your experience because these strangers have no definite way of knowing how your friend would respond. If you did not want to hear strangers opinions, you should not have asked strangers to provide them. The fact that their opinions do not line up with yours, or their worries did not come to fruition in your experience does not make their opinions any less valid. If you want to get only one type of answer, ask your reflection for advice, it tends to agree with you.

As it turned out of course, you weren't asking for advice. Your post was purely to say that in your case, what knotties commonly say isn't true and a box would be a great way of asking. And in this post you appear to have returned to re-assert the same claim, now with proof because your friend said yes. Again though, knotties are not usually saying "never do X" (unless it is a breach of etiquette), they are merely saying "X doesn't always/usually work out the way you hoped so think carefully about whether its the best way to go about it." Of course, each knottie says that in his/her own way.

Look, in some specific instances it might (hypothetically) be perfectly ok to have a cash bar, ask for money in the invite, register for a honeymoon, "host" a potluck, and do tiered invitations but GENERALLY those things are frowned upon and so knotties will ALWAYS advise against them.

edited: spaces got eaten

djfivenine · July 2014

Jen4948 · July 2014

Did you somehow confuse July 4 with April 1?

What makes you think anyone who gives advice in good faith would appreciate such a snotty display of "haha, see how wrong you are?" It comes off as so childish that we have to wonder if you're really mature enough to get married in the first place.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

Good for you?

Am I supposed to care that some people like shit I find corny? People liked The Notebook, too.

ohannabelle · July 2014

Jen4948 said:

Did you somehow confuse July 4 with April 1? What makes you think anyone who gives advice in good faith would appreciate such a snotty display of "haha, see how wrong you are?" It comes off as so childish that we have to wonder if you're really mature enough to get married in the first place.

Based on her incredibly imbecilic remarks in the last thread, I'm not even wondering. I don't need to check the Magic 8 Ball to see that "All signs point to NO."

soontobemrshamilton · July 2014

@JasperandOpal‌ it's not that I didn't like people saying it wasn't a good idea. People were telling me me I'm immature and childish and that I'll want her to do Pinterest shit. Because I was giving her a box, that meant my wedding is the most important thing. People took it to a whole other level. It didn't make any sense! They could have left it at, they didn't like the idea, not all these rude comments and assumptions.

I did tell her what kind of box it is, go back to he original thread. Any ways, all I care about it that she liked it and said yes.

soontobemrshamilton · July 2014

I guess I'm very different than a lot of you on here, @pinkrevenge‌. I like corny stuff, I like Pinterest and I LOVE the Notebook!!

freebread03 · July 2014

Wow, good for you OP! You just told us now didn't you!

[Deleted User] · July 2014

I get my cake recipes off pinterest, but you don't see me making a big show of it.

soontobemrshamilton · July 2014

How is giving someone a box at dinner a big show?

holyguacamole79 · July 2014

Seriously, @soontobemrsharrison‌, what is your point? You came here and told us your plans, which I assume was a passive aggressive way to seek approval or something. We comment about why we are not fans of the plan. You make a crass comment about my mother having a penis that I suck on (pure class, btw). You continue with your plans and they go as you had hoped / expected. Good for you! You then come back here and brag and argue with us when nobody really seems to care. What is your point?

Maggie0829 · July 2014

So this post, along with your insult in your last post, really solidifies your immaturity.

And I doubt your friend cried because she loved the box. She probably cried because you asked her to be your MOH. She probably didn't give two shits about the box.

climbingsingle · July 2014

Really, how old are you? Grow up.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

slothiegal · July 2014

AddieCake · July 2014

No, you really didn't answer about the box. Your explanation was vague and didn't at all paint a picture for me of the box. But like I said in your other thread, after your rude and immature comment about another poster's mother, I no longer care what kind of box it was. And this juvenile follow-up thread makes me not care what you have to say about....well, anything, frankly.

But good luck in your planning and enjoy your wedding day!

jacques27 · July 2014

soontobemrshamilton said:

@JasperandOpal‌ it's not that I didn't like people saying it wasn't a good idea. People were telling me me I'm immature and childish and that I'll want her to do Pinterest shit. Because I was giving her a box, that meant my wedding is the most important thing. People took it to a whole other level. It didn't make any sense! They could have left it at, they didn't like the idea, not all these rude comments and assumptions. I did tell her what kind of box it is, go back to he original thread. Any ways, all I care about it that she liked it and said yes.

Congratulations. You are doing an AWESOME job of showing us that's not true.

ashley8918 · July 2014

Just because she SAID she likes it, doesn't mean she actually does. I mean, she might love it. But if she doesn't, i'm sure she wouldn't say so. She probably wouldn't want to hurt your feelings.

ashley8918 · July 2014

Also,

soontobemrshamilton · July 2014

oh, you all love the drama!!!!

Maggie0829 · July 2014

soontobemrshamilton said:

oh, you all love the drama!!!!

You are quickly making your way into the troll category.

southernbelle0915 · July 2014

soontobemrshamilton said:

I took her out to dinner and gave her a box with a little note asking if she'll be my MOH.

She thought it was childish and immature, she felt pressured to say yes, she was scared I was going to make her do all these Pinterest things and that my wedding was a HUGE deal.

I'm devastated. I should have listened to all you ladies!!!

NOT, she fucking loved it. She cried, I cried and we had an awesome night!!!

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A RELIEF!!!

OMG, I'm so glad you came back to post this. I almost PM'd you to ask what happened.

In all seriousness, I'm glad this went well for you. I really am. But posting a "I told you so" message in the form of a "NOT!!!" joke is juvenile to point of laughable. I really did get a good laugh, so thank you for that.

Also, lots of people say they like things (or "fucking love" them, in this case) when they don't. I've been asked to be a BM both ways and gave each bride a similar reaction. In my head though, I valued one more than the other. The gesture was nice, but I thought the DIY/creative/will-you-be-my-valentine way was childish and stupid. Just another perspective.

ohannabelle · July 2014

soontobemrshamilton said: oh, you all love the drama!!!! SITB

It's not really drama, though. Just more stoopid and childish. And normal adults are often entertained by seeing other adults behaving stupidly. It's why people watch shows like Bridezillas, or America's Dumbest whatevers.

It's why every village used to have an idiot.

But it's not exactly drama, or loved. Just kind of an amused eye roll, like when the village idiot fell off of the fence and landed face down in the sheep plop. Again. And again. It's human nature to laugh at fools.

VulgarGirl · July 2014

Lemme make sure I get this all right.

In the first post you say: I'm gonna do a thing!

And everyone says: Why are you telling us this? You know we advise against doing the thing because it puts people on the spot. You aren't a mind reader, she might not love it, be prepared. What does the box look like?

And you say: Dick in a box! Suck your mom's dick.

And everyone says: Over the line! Way harsh! Immature! What does the mother fucking box look like?!

So you make a new post to say: I did the thing, and she hated it! LOL NOT!! (not jokes are funny again because it's 7th grade)

And everyone says: WTF? Why are you doing this? This is immature. And we still don't know anything about the damn box.

So you say: You love the drama!

And then I say: Are you high or something?

Did I get all that right?

ohannabelle · July 2014

MagicInk said:

Lemme make sure I get this all right.

In the first post you say: I'm gonna do a thing!

And everyone says: Why are you telling us this? You know we advise against doing the thing because it puts people on the spot. You aren't a mind reader, she might not love it, be prepared. What does the box look like?

And you say: Dick in a box! Suck your mom's dick.

And everyone says: Over the line! Way harsh! Immature! What does the mother fucking box look like?!

So you make a new post to say: I did the thing, and she hated it! LOL NOT!! (not jokes are funny again because it's 7th grade)

And everyone says: WTF? Why are you doing this? This is immature. And we still don't know anything about the damn box.

So you say: You love the drama!

And then I say: Are you high or something?

Did I get all that right?

Yep. I think that's an excellent synopsis.

My MOH hated the box

Re: My MOH hated the box

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