Send TY Notes All at Once or in Waves

kgd7357 · July 2014

My wedding was June 28th, yay! I must say, we've been pretty good about getting through the thank you notes. I finished about 20% by July 1st and popped them in the mail. Thanks to the holiday weekend we got a huge stack done, and I'd say we are at about 70%. Woohoo! I was planning on mailing them out today, but then was wondering if maybe I should have waited to send all the notes out together. We probably will wrap them up by Sunday. What do you think? Send them all at once, or send them as you finish?

chibiyui · July 2014

I sent mine in waves, largely as I didn't want anything getting lost or messy waiting around.

I am disorganized and a bit slow on the thank you note front though.

JCbride2015 · July 2014

For our engagement party, we sent them as we finished them. There were three major waves, I think. It never occurred to me this could be a problem. Sounds fine to me.

MNVegas · July 2014

I would send the finished thank you notes out now. No need to make people wait to get them.

melbenso · July 2014

Congratulations! I also got married June 28. We got started on our thank you notes this past weekend, and we plan on sending them out in waves.

That being said, we've been working on them in groups of people who know each other. For example, on Saturday, we did all the thank you notes for my family and mailed them. (We are going to see some of my family on a family vacation in two weeks and I wanted them to have their thank you notes before they left.) On Sunday, we did all the thank you notes for DH's family and mailed them.

Next up, we will start on notes to friends and will likely continue to work on them in groups of friends who know each other.

kgd7357 · July 2014

Congrats @melbenso! I think I'm going to stick to the waves. I wasn't sure if it was like b-listing invites. We sort of did it by what the gift was from. Amazon registry was first, cash and checks we did this weekend, BB&B registry and randoms this week.

RebeccaFlower · July 2014

Girl, you did so well getting them written, send as soon as possible!

lyndausvi · July 2014

I sent them in waves, but within the same group.

Nothing good would come out of me sending an aunt on my side and DH's side at the same time, but not sending a TY note to one of their siblings later.

AddieCake · July 2014

lyndausvi said:

I sent them in waves, but within the same group.

Nothing good would come out of me sending an aunt on my side and DH's side at the same time, but not sending a TY note to one of their siblings later.

SITB
This was the same for me as well.

AddieCake · July 2014

Double post!

photokitty · July 2014

I sent them in waves. First wave was checks - I wrote them within a few days of returning from the honeymoon. I don't like to cash a check before mailing a thank you note, and I don't like to keep a check more than 2 weeks before cashing it.

(With the exception of those people who put my first name and my husband's last name on the check - they had to wait until I got a marriage certificate before I could cash their checks. A good reason never to assume the bride will take the groom's name.)

Next waves were done by family/ friend groups bc that's how I set up my spreadsheet. ;-p

mysticl · July 2014

I sent both invites and thank you notes out in waves. I tend to have a very messy desk so as soon as I was done with that day's batch they went to the mailbox so I didn't lose them or have them get messed up.

kgd7357 · July 2014

photokitty said:

I sent them in waves. First wave was checks - I wrote them within a few days of returning from the honeymoon. I don't like to cash a check before mailing a thank you note, and I don't like to keep a check more than 2 weeks before cashing it.

(With the exception of those people who put my first name and my husband's last name on the check - they had to wait until I got a marriage certificate before I could cash their checks. A good reason never to assume the bride will take the groom's name.)

Next waves were done by family/ friend groups bc that's how I set up my spreadsheet. ;-p

I totally agree on the checks. This was why we did the big push this weekend to get those done.

I was also totally impressed with the new hubby's help on cranking out these notes!

Liatris2010 · July 2014

Waves.

annathy03 · July 2014

photokitty said:

I sent them in waves. First wave was checks - I wrote them within a few days of returning from the honeymoon. I don't like to cash a check before mailing a thank you note, and I don't like to keep a check more than 2 weeks before cashing it.

(With the exception of those people who put my first name and my husband's last name on the check - they had to wait until I got a marriage certificate before I could cash their checks. A good reason never to assume the bride will take the groom's name.)

Next waves were done by family/ friend groups bc that's how I set up my spreadsheet. ;-p

Some of H's aunts and uncles were mega irritated that it took us awhile to cash the checks they sent like two months before the wedding. Um, the bank won't cash them without a marriage certificate, maybe you shouldn't have written them out to Mr. and Mrs. Hislastname? I am changing my name, but certainly couldn't do so BEFORE the wedding. I feel a little bad that it was so long, but there was no Mrs. Hislastname yet. SMH.

To the OP, waves are fine, just group them together by who knows one another as much as possible. Sounds like you'll have all of them out soon though, good job!

lyndausvi · July 2014

annathy03 said:

photokitty said:

I sent them in waves. First wave was checks - I wrote them within a few days of returning from the honeymoon. I don't like to cash a check before mailing a thank you note, and I don't like to keep a check more than 2 weeks before cashing it.

(With the exception of those people who put my first name and my husband's last name on the check - they had to wait until I got a marriage certificate before I could cash their checks. A good reason never to assume the bride will take the groom's name.)

Next waves were done by family/ friend groups bc that's how I set up my spreadsheet. ;-p

Some of H's aunts and uncles were mega irritated that it took us awhile to cash the checks they sent like two months before the wedding. Um, the bank won't cash them without a marriage certificate, maybe you shouldn't have written them out to Mr. and Mrs. Hislastname? I am changing my name, but certainly couldn't do so BEFORE the wedding. I feel a little bad that it was so long, but there was no Mrs. Hislastname yet. SMH.

To the OP, waves are fine, just group them together by who knows one another as much as possible. Sounds like you'll have all of them out soon though, good job!

Really? I didn't have any problems depositing checks with my first name and DH's last name? We just deposited them in our joint account.

annathy03 · July 2014

We checked and they wouldn't do it until we had a marriage certificate. We also didn't have a joint account, and even after the wedding they wanted my name on the account to deposit the checks. Of course, H's bank branch could just be filled with assholes.

lyndausvi · July 2014

annathy03 said:

We checked and they wouldn't do it until we had a marriage certificate. We also didn't have a joint account, and even after the wedding they wanted my name on the account to deposit the checks. Of course, H's bank branch could just be filled with assholes.

So strange. We also deposited a bunch of checks in DH's individually account with no issue. We both signed the checks, put "for deposit only" and deposited them. Easy, peasy.

I do know there are some new rules now. I deposit our rent directly into the landlord's account. If I write the check out to her, no problem. Which is funny because she is not endorsing it, I just put for deposit only and hand the check and deposit slip to the teller. Landlord never touches the check.

I can't, however, write the check out to CASH to deposit into her account. Apparently, you can not deposit checks made out to cash into an account not your own any more. Well it's not industry wide yet, but a lot of banks are going that way. Something about money laundering.

mysticl · July 2014

lyndausvi said:

annathy03 said:

photokitty said:

I sent them in waves. First wave was checks - I wrote them within a few days of returning from the honeymoon. I don't like to cash a check before mailing a thank you note, and I don't like to keep a check more than 2 weeks before cashing it.

(With the exception of those people who put my first name and my husband's last name on the check - they had to wait until I got a marriage certificate before I could cash their checks. A good reason never to assume the bride will take the groom's name.)

Next waves were done by family/ friend groups bc that's how I set up my spreadsheet. ;-p

Some of H's aunts and uncles were mega irritated that it took us awhile to cash the checks they sent like two months before the wedding. Um, the bank won't cash them without a marriage certificate, maybe you shouldn't have written them out to Mr. and Mrs. Hislastname? I am changing my name, but certainly couldn't do so BEFORE the wedding. I feel a little bad that it was so long, but there was no Mrs. Hislastname yet. SMH.

To the OP, waves are fine, just group them together by who knows one another as much as possible. Sounds like you'll have all of them out soon though, good job!

Really? I didn't have any problems depositing checks with my first name and DH's last name? We just deposited them in our joint account.

DH added me to his savings account 2 days after the wedding and we deposited the checks into that whiteout a problem. I went back in later with the marriage license to change my name on the account. Now my uncle was smart. He sent the check a few weeks before the wedding made out only to me using my maiden name so I could deposit it without issue.

annathy03 · July 2014

mysticl said:

lyndausvi said:

annathy03 said:

photokitty said:

I sent them in waves. First wave was checks - I wrote them within a few days of returning from the honeymoon. I don't like to cash a check before mailing a thank you note, and I don't like to keep a check more than 2 weeks before cashing it.

(With the exception of those people who put my first name and my husband's last name on the check - they had to wait until I got a marriage certificate before I could cash their checks. A good reason never to assume the bride will take the groom's name.)

Next waves were done by family/ friend groups bc that's how I set up my spreadsheet. ;-p

Some of H's aunts and uncles were mega irritated that it took us awhile to cash the checks they sent like two months before the wedding. Um, the bank won't cash them without a marriage certificate, maybe you shouldn't have written them out to Mr. and Mrs. Hislastname? I am changing my name, but certainly couldn't do so BEFORE the wedding. I feel a little bad that it was so long, but there was no Mrs. Hislastname yet. SMH.

To the OP, waves are fine, just group them together by who knows one another as much as possible. Sounds like you'll have all of them out soon though, good job!

Really? I didn't have any problems depositing checks with my first name and DH's last name? We just deposited them in our joint account.

DH added me to his savings account 2 days after the wedding and we deposited the checks into that whiteout a problem. I went back in later with the marriage license to change my name on the account. Now my uncle was smart. He sent the check a few weeks before the wedding made out only to me using my maiden name so I could deposit it without issue.

Oh yeah, H is greek so my family wrote checks to only me using my maiden as well b/c it's so much easier to spell. The only issues we had were the few his family wrote out before, and my friend that wrote Annathy and Hisfirst HERlast (again, didn't know how to spell his), but got that worked out.

sarahufl · July 2014

We already got not one, but two checks, made out to Mr. And Mrs. FI. I have been wanting to cash them, but FI keeps forgetting. We have had them about a week and this morning he couldn't find the damn things! I told him it is rude to hold checks for too long but I can't cash them because my name is nowhere on them. Now we have to find the damn things. $400 lost somewhere in FIs apartment!

ETA: We aren't even married yet. Not for another 3 weeks.

kgd7357 · July 2014

I didn't have any issue with the checks that had the wrong last name. Although I'm a little nervous now since I did them as mobile deposits...

princessleia22 · July 2014

I had about 1/2 checks written to 'my first my maiden & his first his last' and about 1/2 checks written to 'my first & his first his last'. We have joint bank account that has his full name & my full maiden name (I just got my certificate in mail, so haven't changed anything yet). Since they were written to both of us, we both just signed the back of the checks and I signed with my maiden name since that's what is on my account and still my legal name. They didn't have any issues with depositing them. I didn't need to show proof of marriage or anything. It really just depends on the bank.

As for the original question, we received about 1/2 our gifts prior to wedding. I've just written thank you cards as we received items and mailed them right away. Some days I'd send out 10 cards, some days only 1. I figured it is best to just send the cards as quickly as possible, rather than worry about people questioning why one person received a thank you card first.

mysticl · July 2014

sarahufl said:

We already got not one, but two checks, made out to Mr. And Mrs. FI. I have been wanting to cash them, but FI keeps forgetting. We have had them about a week and this morning he couldn't find the damn things! I told him it is rude to hold checks for too long but I can't cash them because my name is nowhere on them. Now we have to find the damn things. $400 lost somewhere in FIs apartment!

ETA: We aren't even married yet. Not for another 3 weeks.

Since they wrote "and" your signature may still be required to cash them.

photokitty · July 2014

I kept my name. We do not have a joint account. My bank was super anal about it.

Here's what we had to do...

Let's call me Photo Kitty and him Guy Dog.

We received checks written to:

Ms. Photo Kitty - I deposited normally in my personal account

Mr Guy Dog - he deposited normally in his personal account

Mr. Guy and Mrs. Photo Dog - He endorsed the check. I endorsed the check. I took them to the teller with my marriage certificate and they cashed them. I deposited the cash in my account.

Mr Guy Dog & Ms. Photo Kitty - He endorsed the check. I endorsed the check. I took them to the teller with my marriage certificate and they deposited the checks in my account.

My bank would not deposit anything with both names listed, regardless of it saying "and" or "or," without both signatures and the certified marriage license. I'm not saying all banks have this rule, but mine did. It's best to make it out to one person, and if it is the bride - her maiden name.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

All this talk about how checks are written makes me wonder about the checks I've written to my cousin's young children. What do the poor parents do when I write a check to "2yearold cousin Smith"?

daria24 · July 2014

I kept my name, and most people knew (or weren't sure, so they just address them to H) but the few that were made out to Mr. & Mrs. His Last our bank had zero issue. We didn't even have to show the marriage certificate. We just both signed them with our legal names and that was it, and deposited them into our joint account.

theartistformerlyknownas · July 2014

adk19 said:

All this talk about how checks are written makes me wonder about the checks I've written to my cousin's young children. What do the poor parents do when I write a check to "2yearold cousin Smith"?

I can't speak to current policies, but I got a lot of checks as birthday presents as a kid and never had a problem. We'd go to my mom's bank, I signed them and then I believe she had to sign them/write her account number, and I got the cash. If the kids have savings accounts your cousin could just deposit them.

mysticl · July 2014

adk19 said:

All this talk about how checks are written makes me wonder about the checks I've written to my cousin's young children. What do the poor parents do when I write a check to "2yearold cousin Smith"?

Our bank has me sign DS's name followed by the word "minor" and then my name followed by the word "parent". They allowed me to deposit them into DH and my's joint account prior to us opening up an account for DS (which is joint with me).

[Deleted User] · July 2014

Thanks! Good to know I haven't been making life miserable for my cousins when I try to do a good deed by giving their children money.

daria24 · July 2014

adk19 said:

All this talk about how checks are written makes me wonder about the checks I've written to my cousin's young children. What do the poor parents do when I write a check to "2yearold cousin Smith"?

When I was a little kid I had my own savings account, so I think my mother just signed the check and put it in there, until I was old enough to sign my own name. But it was the local bank where literally every teller knew every customer, so it was NBD.

Send TY Notes All at Once or in Waves

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