Good news: we've set our date, it's in September 2015!
Bad news: I don't really have anyone to be my bridesmaid/s and I want to have at least one but I wish I could have at least 2! I've always imagined my wedding with bridesmaids. FI's at least got his brother to be his best man.
I have no sisters, my cousins all live far away in another state and they are too busy with their own lives to even respond to my emails. (rolling my eyes) One of my cousins is getting married 3 weeks after my wedding so I can't ask her. I don't have any girlfriends. FI has no sisters and only one female cousin-in-law. My brother recently got married but his wife is much much older than me and I don't feel close to her. Not to be rude, but I don't really want her as an option.
I've been thinking for months now about asking FI's cousin-in-law (who also lives out of state but expressed that she will come to our wedding) She and I have been emailing back and fourth but we don't know each other too well. We attended her wedding 3 years ago and she does show interest in our wedding. I just don't know if it would be weird to ask her? Part of me feels like it would be weird because we just started talking about 6 months ago via email.
My other idea was asking another cousin of mine who lives out of state (one of them that never responds to me) but I worry about drama with her because a few years back ago she asked me to be a BM in her wedding and I said yes. I had to back out due to a work situation at the time. I felt horrible about it and there could be some resentment there.
Who knows, I might just have to ask my brother to be my bridesman? That's not the same though.
I don't know what to do!!!! I don't even know if it's too early to ask? FI intends on asking his brother and he will probably do that sooner rather than later because he lives out of state as well. Any advice?
Re: I don't really have anyone to be bridesmaids... :'(
I'm the fuck out.
I have a very compartmentalized life - lived in one place for youth, another place for teen years, another place for college, now where I've settled with my FI. So I don't have good girlfriends that I've known for years, etc. etc. So I'm asking my closest friend from each 'chapter' in my life. Strangers? Who cares! It'll be a good portrait of the people who have helped me through different points in my life. Just because we aren't best friends now doesn't mean I don't appreciate what they've done for me over the years.
Or this is a terrible idea. Not sure yet, but maybe this idea might work for you? Best of luck!
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Who says it has to be a woman?
2) I know you "imagined" having a bridesmaid (or MOH), but let's visit what that actually means. This is a person, usually cherished in your life, that you are putting in a place of honor (heck, honor is baked right into the title) to stand beside you when you commit your life to another person (and that is their only responsibility). The way you are talking about all of your prospects (cousins-in-law you barely know, people who you barely communicate with?), are you picking them because you cherish them and want them in that place of honor or are you picking them because it's more important to you to have a prop to complete your vision? The fact that you're not in close enough contact with these people on a regular basis to know how they would even respond or if there is possible resentment from the past tells me you shouldn't be asking them. Ask yourself what is more important - honoring a cherished loved one with this role or a having a prop? If it's the latter, then go ahead and ask any of the cousins. Six of one, half dozen of the other. Doesn't much matter - it's a warm body in a dress for your photos. Otherwise, think about who you really cherish in your life and want by your side and ask that person, regardless of their gender.
(Or, you can wait it out, see how your relationships progress to see if you get any more clarity on the subject, and then proceed with either prop or cherished loved one.)
What about your mother or FMIL? I don't have any really close girlfriends either. I actually thought about having my mom as MOH, because she probably is my best friend, beside my husband. But, I knew it was important to my sister, which I'm fine with and also close with. So, I asked my sister & SIL (who is also my high school friend) to both be MOH. My brother had my dad as best man at his wedding. So, I don't think there is anything wrong with having parents in your wedding party, if you are at all close to them. And it would likely mean a lot to them to be more involved (assuming they approve of the marriage). Since I didn't have mom in my bridal party, we had both our moms sign our license as witnesses, so they still got to be involved.
Otherwise, having brother as bridesman is perfectly fine too.
To off-set any weirdness, I'm trying to find ways to make it as cheap as possible - letting them pick their own dresses with as few restrictions as possible, paying to get their hair done, etc.
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